Add To Watchlist

5TOP

The Wire

People who should host the Academy Awards

At this point, the question doesn't seem to be if Harris will one day host the Oscars but when. His championship turn at the Emmys this year would have seemed like a slam dunk even if he hadn't followed last year's disastrous five-reality-hosts-without-a-script telecast. It came a mere three and a half months after his hosting debut at the Tonys, and he proved in both cases that he was equally adept at song-and-dance numbers as he was with off-the-cuff jokes about events that happened just minutes before. Even so, he was respectful to the ceremonies without taking things too seriously while successfully tailoring each show to a different audience. If Hugh Jackman could successfully make the awards-show transition from Broadway to the silver screen, so can NPH. Unless, of course, he's beaten out by Jeremy Piven or Jon Cryer.

5Top: Play ball — in films that aren’t about baseball

No baseball scenes are both lighter and more heavy with meaning than those in “The Great Escape.” In a WWII German concentration camp, Capt. Hilts (Steve McQueen) is known as “The Cooler King” because of the time he spends there as punishment for his numerous escape attempts. How does he keep his wits? With two great American inventions: glove and ball. For all his athleticism McQueen isn’t a natural here: he brings glove to meet ball rather than letting the ball come to him. Plus the notion that POWs, even officers, were allowed such contraband in solitary seems Hollywoodish. But the image it still powerful. You try to break me and I will bang the ball on the floor so it bangs against the opposite wall, and back to me. Bang-bang-pop. Bang-bang-pop. That banging isn’t just wiling away the time. It’s a warning. It’s a threat to break free.

5Top: ‘In a world...’ where movie trailers are awful

If a big surprise is noted by the sound of a record being scratched or Garry Marshall is listed as a film's director, it could be a sign that this is a movie to skip.

5Top: Rah! Rah! Cheerleader songs that rock

These hyped-up tunes will spark either school spirit or very bad memories of school days.

5Top: Great cougar romances in movies

Passion between older women and younger men heated up screens in “The Graduate,” “Risky Business” and other films.

5Top: Class is in session! Back-to-school songs

Do you have the back-to-school blues? Well, artists like Taylor Swift, the Deftones and Graham Parker feel your pain.

5Top: Songs that say goodbye to summer

Get misty listening to Green Day's "Wake Me When September Ends" or nostalgic checking out the Beach Boys' "All Summer Long."

5Top: Celebrities who shouldn’t reproduce

Think of the children! Do you really want Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt bringing little camera-ready tots into this world?

5Top: Celebrities who should zip their lips

Stars such as Megan Fox, Spencer Pratt and Katherine Heigl just can't seem to keep their mouths shut.

5Top: Unfiltered flicks that light up the screen

We know cigarettes are bad for you, but stars such as Bette Davis in "Now Voyager" and Humphrey Bogart in "Casablanca," sure did make smoking look good.

5Top: Cheers! Movies that make you lift a glass

"Sideways" will make you crave wine, "The Thin Man" a martini and "Strange Brew" a cold beer.

5Top: Movies that revolve around eating

When a young woman (Lumi Cavazos) is kept from marrying the man she loves, her culinary creations become the manifestation of her broken heart. Shedding a few tears into the batter of the wedding cake she makes when her lover marries her older sister, the resulting dessert makes the entire party weep. When he gives her a dozen roses and she uses the petals in a quail recipe, the result is a dish that makes everyone at the table feel, well, extra spicy. Many movies tap into our feelings about eating, but this is one where a chef’s creations express the emotional state of their creator. Mexican cuisine gets a series of delectable close-ups in this adaptation of the Laura Esquivel novel (featuring a screenplay by Esquivel herself).

5Top: Five singers who ruined pop music

Sure, he could sound like John Lennon on one album and Luther Vandross on the next. But that was the problem with David Bowie — in his heyday he seemed more of a theatrical chameleon who tried on personas than an impassioned rock singer. Bowie’s restless experimentalism allowed him to pull off being coolly distant and affected. Sadly, others copped his affectations without his intelligent approach. For a while in the 1980s, it seemed as if nearly every singer drew more from Bowie’s European theater tradition of singing than the tradition of rock singing itself (which came from R&B and gospel sources). Those who succumbed to Bowie-itis included everyone from Ric Ocasek of the Cars to David Byrne of Talking Heads to Robert Palmer to even Cyndi Lauper and Madonna. In short, anytime anyone tries on a vocal persona instead of singing from the heart, they’re channeling the Thin White Duke.

5Top: Top TV picks for your favorite tots

Ever wonder what happened to Wilmer Valderrama, who played Fez on “That 70s Show”? He’s now the voice of Manny, the star of this Disney series that follows a handyman and his talking set of tools through Sheetrock Hills. Each half hour features the crew of Handy Manny’s repair shop — “You break it, we fix it!” — going around repairing everything in the town, in English and Spanish, and of course learning valuable lessons along the way. The characters are all likable without being sickeningly sweet, and it’s easy on the ears as background noise. It also might fuel questions from inquisitive minds about what needs fixing around the house, which is good or bad depending on how interested the adults of the home are in bringing out their own, presumably non-talking set of tools.

5Top: Albums artists don’t want you to hear

Back in 1988, before Tori Amos found her voice as a singer-songwriter, she made her debut with the heavy handed synth rock band Y Kant Tori Read. They released one poorly-received eponymous album and disbanded because Amos couldn’t stand the music she was making or the image Atlantic Records was shoehorning her into. The album and CD barely sold, and went out of print. But long after Amos became an established star, the album remains unavailable, apparently at Amos’ behest since she didn’t feel the music represented her. Maybe not, but her fans are shrewd enough to understand that, while still wanting to hear it. It might make for a good bonus disc in a box set (which would let Amos avoid having to put the embarrassing front cover back on CD racks). It’s worth noting Amos has performed at least one of the album’s songs, live, so she can’t hate it all that much. For now, you can see the video Amos and company did for on YouTube or pick up used copies on Amazon, which star

5Top: Albums artists don’t want you to hear

Back in 1988, before Tori Amos found her voice as a singer-songwriter, she made her debut with the heavy handed synth rock band Y Kant Tori Read. They released one poorly-received eponymous album and disbanded because Amos couldn’t stand the music she was making or the image Atlantic Records was shoehorning her into. The album and CD barely sold, and went out of print. But long after Amos became an established star, the album remains unavailable, apparently at Amos’ behest since she didn’t feel the music represented her. Maybe not, but her fans are shrewd enough to understand that, while still wanting to hear it. It might make for a good bonus disc in a box set (which would let Amos avoid having to put the embarrassing front cover back on CD racks). It’s worth noting Amos has performed at least one of the album’s songs, live, so she can’t hate it all that much. For now, you can see the video Amos and company did for on YouTube or pick up used copies on Amazon, which star

Grab your tie-dye! Summer jam bands to go see

If there were ever a time to see the granddaddy of all jam bands, it should be this summer. This year, the legendary Georgia blues-rock band is marking its 40th anniversary and recently played a wildly successful run of shows at New York’s Beacon Theatre marking the occasion. Those gigs featured the band along with a slew of guest stars that constituted a “who’s who” of rock ’n’ roll, such as Levon Helm, Johnny Winter, Sheryl Crow, Kid Rock, Trey Anastasio, Susan Tedeschi, Bob Weir and Phil Lesh. The shows were so hot that the band’s fan club packaged them as a . The band will only play two dates in June (at Florida’s WANEE Festival) and none in July, since guitarists Warren Haynes and Derek Trucks and doing solo gigs then. But expect some explosive gigs when their summer tour kicks off in earnest in late August with a bunch of East Coast dates.

5Top: Memorable guests on Leno’s ‘Tonight Show’

Two weeks after a humiliating arrest after picking up a prostitute on Sunset Boulevard, Hugh Grant kept his commitment to appear on Leno’s couch. Leno’s straight ahead, man-to-man, “What the hell were you thinking?” was exactly the right opener. Grant’s sheepish mea culpa scored points for honesty and saved his career. Leno, who had already caught and passed new CBS “Late Show” host David Letterman in the ratings, never looked back. “That was a turning point,” agrees Leno.

5Top: TV shows on the bubble

NBC’s “Chuck” isn’t as good as the hype suggests it is (there was a recent grassroots campaign where fans ate at show sponsor Subway to show their undying support). But the series is strong enough and different enough from most of what network TV offers to make its return necessary, and it’s certainly one of NBC’s best scripted series (even if that is a small group). “Chuck” debuted at the same time as The CW’s “Reaper,” which shared a basic premise: an everyday man found himself in extraordinary circumstances. But “Reaper,” which followed a main character who literally had to do the devil’s work, nearly instantaneously squandered its characters to its concept. The reverse happened with “Chuck,” as the characters grew inside the implausible but entertaining context, which focuses on Chuck’s brain being a repository for the CIA’s most important secrets. That alone couldn’t power a series, but all o

5Top: Ways ‘Idol’ pimps out its favorites

Ryan Seacrest may love to say that America is in control of “American Idol,” and viewers’ votes are what ultimately decide, but the finalists’ fates can be influenced by the gods: the show’s producers. One of the many ways they not-so-subtly promote particular contestants is by choosing the order in which the finalists perform every night. Fans have affectionately or not-so-affectionately nicknamed the final performance the “pimp slot,” because that’s where the show puts contestants it wants to promote and play up. The reasoning is simple: Viewers definitely remember the last performance, and not just because more viewers tune in during the second half-hour. Voting opens nearly immediately after that person sings, and of course, that person and their phone number also appear last in the recap that closes out each performance show.

5Top: Khaaaaaaaaan! Great ‘Star Trek’ villains

After five television series and 11 films, the “Star Trek” universe packs hundreds of baddies. The level of villainy varies, but when it comes to pure revenge-fueled rage, none can compete with Khan Noonien Singh. The genetically-enhanced superhuman first made his imposing presence known in a one-off episode of the original “Trek” series, later realized his full ruthless potential in “Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.” Years of exile, courtesy of Captain Kirk, left Khan boasting a bloodlust (not to mention one heck of a mullet and ample man-cleavage) that led him to torture and destroy anyone standing between him and his ultimate vengeance. While the Melville-quoting madman fell short of his kill-Kirk goal, Kahn eliminated Spock and inspired .

5Top: What boob tube? TV that teaches

More than any other procedural crime-solving drama on TV today, Fox’s “Lie to Me” invites its audience to play along with its characters, and to take what we’ve learned and use it in our lives. After a character identifies someone as a liar, he or she discusses the revealing micro-expressions that led to their conclusion. That’s often followed by “Lie to Me’s” best part: photographs or video clips of famous people doing the exact same thing that teach us how to spot the same tell. In a March episode, Tim Roth’s character noted that when someone “looks down and away,” that indicates guilt. An image of a character doing that froze on the screen, and as the show went to commercial, it was replaced with rapid-fire images of Michael Vick and Rod Blagojevich both showing the exact same expression. Lesson learned.

5Top: Top of the pops! Up-and-coming young singers

This New Jersey trio represents a refreshing change from the usual tween-oriented female acts. First and foremost, sisters Destinee and Paris Monroe not only can sing (as their occasional a cappella tunes prove), but their voices blend to make a shiny, happy sound more reminiscent of Bananarama than Britney. They also play cute instead of sexy, preferring Converse sneakers to the now-cliché stripper heels. The group’s EPs have been pretty much ignored, but things may start to look up since they signed with Interscope Records, and became spokesgirlz for Baby Bottle Pop candy. (They also replaced Ariel Moore with newcomer Sara Diamond.) Their full-length debut, “Incredible,” is due out this summer, and if buzz continues to build, maybe songs like “Then I Woke Up” and “Without You” will make it onto radio playlists.

Unfortunate celebrity products

You might be a redneck (or just not very picky when it comes to dried meat) if you can’t wait to tear into a pack of Jeff Foxworthy’s jerky. According to , Foxworthy jumped on the jerky bandwagon in response to the glut of niche snacks now available. Seems those “energy bars made special for women” caused him concern. “What would happen if I ate one of these female energy bars anyway?” he pondered. “Am I going to get all emotional, start crying, or constantly have a craving to watch the Lifetime Network?” (Yes, because that pretty much sums up the female experience, jerk-y.) Foxworthy’s quest for a filling snack that was “even a little bit manly” ended when he slapped his name on these dehydrated strips.

One plus one equals awkward: Bad TV couples

Come to think of it, pity any poor soul who hooks up with Nicki, not just Bill. He married her and she became his second wife after she helped take care of the children as first wife, Barb, was going through a cancer scare. Take out those feelings of gratitude and her abilities at folding clothes and making dinner, and it’s simple to see that she’s so narcissistic that it’s incomprehensible how anyone could think she could be part of a giving relationship. She’s all about taking and blaming instead, and poor overworked Bill shouldn’t have to put up with a woman who can’t put a sentence together without using “I” or “me.”

The Vine
This area needs news. Click here to seed the vine