A man goes to the doctor for a routine physical. Afterwards, the doctor looks over his findings and approaches him.
"Well, I've got some good news for you," the doctor says, "and some bad news."
"Oh dear!" says the man. "What's the bad news?
"It looks like Tom Green will be back with another 'comedy' show June 15th," the doctor says grimly.
"Oh?" says the man. "And what's the good news?"
The doctor smiles. "Your body has been ravaged by a terminal case of syphilis and you'll be dead in a week."
He neglected to mention it was he, the doctor, who gave me syphilis. Curse him!
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