Palestinian Anguishes Over MySpace Romance

There's that reality check we needed!

This only reaffirms my very anti-MySpace stance.

I don't think either of you completely know what you are talking about. The internet, like it or not, is becoming a valid way of maintaining and establishing a meaningful relationship. Naturally there are nut-jobs in any form of relationship, but it's not restricted purely to internet ones.

I met my girlfriend of 4 years on the internet. I've traveled to meet her 4 times, and she's come here once. I am leaving in a few weeks for my fifth visit. And yes, I can say that the love I felt for her when I met her was authentic, even without meeting her.

These types of relationships, in some sense, offer greater purity over relationships established in person. You get to know someone for their personality, intellect etc, instead of factoring in their physical attributes to the same level. In the long run, these things seem more important in creating something successful.

Anyways, in 15 or 20 years, the generations (including my own) looking down upon this new form of social interaction will be old and grey. Future generations will replace us, perhaps just as ignorant about things that are new, or that they don't understand, but at least with an understanding and acceptance of this valid form of social interaction.

Perhaps this is too personal for a news sites, but flame away.

I don't think there's anything inherently "wrong" with meeting someone on the Internet. I was just explaining how my experience had been (terrible). But claiming to be in love and planning a marriage before meeting a person in my mind is crazy. It's simply too easy to be fake online.

Physical attractiveness may not be the most important thing but yes, it is a factor. I do know people who have had lasting relationships with someone they met online but it hasn't worked out for me (yet?).

I'm curious about your relationship though. You've been dating someone for 4 years and only seen her 5 times? How does that work?

I see what you mean. I do agree that agreeing to marry someone you have not met (outside of this whole arranged marriage debate going on below) is a little crazy. I have a better understanding of what you meant now. Actually being around someone for a good duration of time is necessary to see if you can stand all their little nuances (this before even considering marriage). Naturally, the arranged marriage side of things could debate this point as a give/take thing.

This is really the wrong place to be having this discussion, but I didn't see her until a year after we met online. Since then I have been going there every 6 months, we are both students at our respective Universities, so that's the limiting factor, that and money. These types of relationships certainly aren't easy, but that quality is a good test of their future possibilities.

I know two couples in Real Life who got together on the Internet, one through talk.bizarere on Usenet, and one through The Fray on Slate. They both seem extremely compatible. The couple from talk.bizarre has now been together about 6 years and has a 3-year-old child. The couple from The Fray is still pretty fresh, less than a year, but knowing them, both from meeting them in person and from years of conversation online, I'd say they are destined for a long and happy relationship as well.

Online is different from Real Life, in that you don't get fooled by looks. You communicate over a much longer time before you actually meet someone, and a lot more comes out about your personalities, especially if the communication is in an open forum.

Sure, people can lie, but it takes a dedicated liar to keep it up over the course of months. It's much easier for someone to lie for an evening or a week, and in many ways, we are much more gullible in person. The dangers of online are in some ways more trivial (old photos that don't reflect current wear and tear) than those of Real Life (getting drunk and waking up next to a criminal). You have to be careful, just like in Real Life, but at least your chances of getting herpes are lower...until you make the jump from online, that is.

Sorry - that should be anti-convergence. Doh!

Actually 17 and 20 is only illegal in some states not all. Some states have the age of consent at 16 years old. Besides, if she had left the US, the statement would be moot.

Chad, I agree with you a-c, and felt the same way when I read about this on a Newsvine Seed Friday. I can say that most 20 year old Americans are barely mature enough to understand the full ramifications of marriage, let alone an almost 17 year old whose only corresponded with this person via the Internet. How this girl was able to get an airline ticket and not be an adult is also interesting. I think her parents should be counting their blessing that they were able to get her in time.

Actually, in Michigan the age of consent is 16.

She got her mom to buy the ticket. She lied and said it was for a trip with a friend.

I completely agree... If everything else in this story was on the up-and-up the only thing that should have kept her from going to the West Bank to be with this guy should have been her age. She is not of age to get married according to the law of the land in which she lives. If she did go over to Israel and got married to this guy and they came back to the US he could be arrested since she is under age. It is better in the long run if they both just wait. Now, if she was over 18 then I would have to say that this story is really pretty stupid.

She is not under age in michigan.

My state has an age difference waiver: you can hook up legally with someone who is within four years of your own age without penalty. It strikes me that 18 is pretty extreme for age of consent, but I guess there are some states that have it that high. (I don't date women who aren't old enough to fetch beer from the store in the morning.)

They were planning on waiting to get married until Lester was 18, so they weren't rushing into this.

It is very very different.

Arranged marriages are sometimes surprisingly successful because the mindset that goes with the culture and tradition is all about making the most of the marriage that you wind up in. Youngsters are brought up not to expect any freedom or choice. That applies to both partners and their expectation levels are set accordingly.

The example in this article is the opposite extreme. Use of technology to bring about a liaison that embodies maximum choice and minimum adherence to wishes of parents or respective local cultures.

It might have worked, but if it did not the same freedom of choice that brought them together would just as quickly break them apart.

It isn't much different than the arranged marriages that tens of thousands of peolple go through every year. And yet they have more successful marriages than those of the Western cultures.

That's a pretty hefty claim. Care to back up your statement, or at least defend your opinion?

That's a pretty hefty claim. Care to back up your statement, or at least defend your opinion?

I know about 60 couples that are arranged marriages and it works out successfully.

You know 60 couples who have successful arranged marriages? You obviously live in a society that adheres to such customs. In the United States, arranged marriages are very rare. The norm here is choosing who you will marry. And, as a result, I can also say I know more than 60 couples whose chosen marriages have worked out successfully.

In other words, knowing 60 couples with successful arranged marriages does not prove that they are "more successful marriages than those of the Western cultures."

I know about 60 couples that are arranged marriages and it works out successfully.

That's because they're told "you're getting married, deal with it" and they have to. They don't hate or love each other, they're just forced to get along with life.

Although in your case Ansab, arranged marriage is your only chance. I can't wait to see who your mom picks.

Whateva, Whateva, I do what I want!

*Snap Snap*

Bababababababababa.

MySpace approval huh? I thought they shied away from approving anything... ;)

"midwestern sow"? Do you really need to be so hateful towards the girl, considering you don't even know her? Making comments like that has you coming off as less than intelligent.

When do Computer + Internet = $$$???

Computer good enough for MySpace = $200, internet is cheaper in most other countries than in the US of A....especially broadband.

He did not have a POS machine. it looked like he over clocks that sucker. That is not a cheap-o computer.

What, to you, indicates that the computer is over clocked? I can see very little by the way of internals, but I can see a very generic looking case, an old 15" (17" at the most) CRT monitor that's not even a flat screen, and an old keyboard.

As far as I can tell, there's nothing in his AGP, or PCI slots.. if my eyes aren't lying to me, that suggests onboard graphics, which is so not how an over clocker rolls.

We seem to have an interesting divergence in the commentary on this story. The geeks trying to work out what motherboard the guy is using and the romantics debating the moral and cultural angles surrounding his unrequited love affair.

I seem to have contributed in both branches so I must be a romantic geek.

he has his side off which either suggests he has no air conditioning (a possibility) or that he has a cooling problem, or that he OCs his computer. He has something in that top slot. Th pigmentation in the port slat is lighter. It could be a PCI-Express card.

regardless, this is a dumb argument.

It's no argument, just discourse. 'Tis dumb, though.

I already put my $0.02 in on the romance angle and got called "less than intelligent." I figure I've done all the good I can there, so I figured I'd move over to something more interesting.

Guess you're more geek than romantic, Zeke. Maybe you need to get our more, or find a nice geeky girl (over the Internet, of course!)

Too late, already married. I musta' done something right, but don't ask me what!

Hey it works! I do the same thing because I have a cheap ole' eMachine with a Radeon 9800 Pro in there keeping things nice and toasty.

I can see it all now:

Livejournal user: xxxPaLeStYnEboixxx
Current Mood : Emo :(
Current Music : My Chemical Romance - I'm Not Okay

omg today sucked soooo hard... these peeps think i'm a predator or some @!$%#, CAN YO UBELIEVE IT?!? plus my comp is actin all weird after i tried to hack some new stuff into it :sigh: ah well at least they cant do anything to me now lolz.

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@RyanXP
That's the funniest thing I've read all day. And I've ready some fairly funny stuff.

Puts him in the same league as these other winners:

http://www.education-reform.net/dropouts2.htm

You guys all act as if you've never done something stupid in your life when in love.

I've done stupid things, but I can't say I've ever crossed oceans for someone I "loved" and had never seen other than on the Internet.

No offense, but I don't think youve crossed oceans, period.

fun fact: George W Bush has never travelled outside the country before becoming President.

I think it's good ol Louis Black who said "even drunk on ____— you make it to Canada!" or something like that.

No offense, but I don't think youve crossed oceans, period.

Nope, still exploring the enormous country I live in. It really took a long time before it dawned on me how teenie-weenie those European countries are.

Forget Europe, visit Dubai!

Go Singapore! and Japan!

Zaki, WRONG!!! I can't believe how much you people hate our duly selected President, to tell such lies about him. George Bush did travel before runnning for President. When he was a teenager, he went to Scotland with his father on a golf trip, and he went to Mexico for booze and hookers. Scotland's way over in Europe! So get off your high horse!

I'm not saying your wrong Jimmy Havok, but at least cite your sources.

The librul media doesn't want you to know how well-traveled our Maximum Leader is, so they have refuse to write about it, preferring to fill their pages with stories about how he drove drunk (one time!) or fell off a Segway. When he was sober. Because he's not a drunk, no matter what it looks like.

Georgie Poo is on MySpace.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=426571

He's so Emo.

Maybe if Hitler or Zarqawi or Bush all had MySpace sites the world would be a happier place

Does this qualify as Godwin's Law

Ehhh... I don't think so.

For Godwin's law to take effect, you must compare someone or their arguments to Hitler or Nazis, not just mention Hitler or Nazis.

Godwin's law has been debunked!!

I bet lifetime has the rights already... "Not without my daughter 2"

Oh GAWD, my wife made me watch that movie with her a loooong time ago. Odd that the crazy dad wound up playing as Doc. Oc. from Spiderman 2.

You're actually the first person to use the word pedophile in this entire thread (incl. the article). That's not really an issue here.

Though there are some quirky things about this relationship (5-hour-a-day Internet phone calls, 10-hour-a-day Internet surfing, online marriage proposals and religious conversions, etc.), I think what's frightening a lot of parents is the fact that this child was already on her way to the other side of the world to finalize a relationship with someone that nobody had met yet. Myspace is just one of many facilitators--it's not the culprit.

At any rate, I think most people are voicing concerns over what this situation represents, not the specific individuals involved.

75 years ago, 12+ yr olds could get married in the US. Nowadays its only about three years higher, in certain states. Its not like much has changed. Absolute nonsense people are making a fuss about it.

* "It appears that Colorado has adopted the common-law age of consent for marriage as 14 for a male and 12 for a female, which existed under English common law," the ruling said. "Nevertheless, we need only hold here that a 15-year-old female may enter into a valid common-law marriage."

Link to Proof... Someone needs to look up whether Michigan has age of consent laws.

I don't know for sure, but my guess is that it's a lot more common for girls of 16 or 17 to get married in Palestine. Just as 75 years ago it was common for 16 year olds to get married in the U.S.

Are you saying Palestine's 75 years behind the US?

@ Chad Poirer

Not at all, but feel free to twist my words if that's what helps you think.