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No, That's Not a Penis Pump, Mom. Really
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- Public Discussion (34)
Federal Pound-Me-In-The-Ass Prison or Mom finding out you are bringing a penis pump as your travelling companion?
Prison, definitely.
- 23 votes
#1 - Wed Aug 23, 2006 5:04 PM EDTI like to think I could have come up with some sort of middle of the road between penis pump and bomb. Maybe a hookah or laboratory equipment, but I really don't think I'd have gone with bomb…
- 4 votes
I'm curious why he would take it on a flight anyway....
And does this show the sad state of our airport security that they don't know the difference between a penis pump and a bomb? I mean, they should have picked it out as non-lethal to begin with... before he made the asinine comment about it being a bomb.
- 6 votes
I like to think I could have come up with some sort of middle of the road between penis pump and bomb. Maybe a hookah or laboratory equipment, but I really don't think I'd have gone with bomb…
Dude, airport security is confiscating gel insoles and toothpaste! Tell me one thing that it could have been that wouldn't get you arrested??
I'm sure there's some airport security "expert" prattling away on CNN or Fox right this minute about how a terrorist could use the vacuum capabilities of a penis pump to refine yellow cake uranium in the airplane's rest room. FEAR! FEAR! FEAR THE PUMP!
- 8 votes
hope the guys in jail don't find out his story, or he might be the top new prize on his arrival
Actually, it's not the ineptitude of airport security in differentiating a penis pump and a bomb, it's the cleverness of terrorists using penis pumps as bomb casings.
"What are you doing with that, sir?"
"Penis pump!"
"Gah! Look away! Look away!"
boom.
- 3 votes
Why didn't he just whisper what it was into the ear of the inspector?
Doh! Felony for a penis pump...
- 3 votes
#2 - Wed Aug 23, 2006 5:58 PM EDTEither way his mom would find out. Sucks for him. Also, I thougt penis pumps were gimmicks?
#4 - Wed Aug 23, 2006 6:32 PM EDTMedical fact of the day: Penis pumps are real devices.
If an individual has difficulty achieving an erection and has found that drugs like Viagra and Cialis do not work very well or at all, a doctor (usually a urologist) will prescribe the pump. Results, of course, may vary.
Brought to you by your Newsvine-reading medical student.
- 7 votes
Now Mom gets to read about Junior's penis pump in the newspaper! Way to go!
- 5 votes
#5 - Wed Aug 23, 2006 6:57 PM EDTOMG, I just realized ...
He'll be entering the penal system for a penis pump!
- 5 votes
#6 - Wed Aug 23, 2006 7:04 PM EDTOr better stated:
He'll enter the penal system for a penile system.
- 5 votes
Don't worry, Zylphryx - I, too, suffer the embarrassment of CD - Comedic Dysfunction.
- 4 votes
Sure, the penis pump was a bomb. I'll give him that much.
But what were Madin Azad Amin's explanations for:
the credit card reciept, signed by Madin Azad Amin,
the warranty card, filled out by Madin Azad Amin,
and the book Penis Pumps and Me: (This sort of thing does show my faith toward Allah, baby), written by Madin Azad Amin?
- 9 votes
Personally I would have whispered it or claimed it was a bong. But if he'd rather claim it was a bomb at the height of airport security, well, maybe he deserves to be arrested.
#7 - Wed Aug 23, 2006 8:42 PM EDTGranted, he was a dumbass for saying the word bomb to a TSA official, this smells of racial profiling, given his name.. Oh wait.. racial profiling doesn't exist.. my bad..
#8 - Thu Aug 24, 2006 2:26 AM EDTOnce again.. three years in prison for this? This world is going crazy. Nowadays I'm rather thankful I live here in Finland, where a stunt like that would earn you a warning or even a fine.. but three years for claiming your workout machine (well, that it is) is a bomb?
#9 - Thu Aug 24, 2006 5:23 AM EDTYup. Bush's War On Terrorism War on Masturbation is keeping us all safer. Your tax dollars at work!
#10 - Thu Aug 24, 2006 1:20 PM EDTHey! Where's my strike-through!? Grr.
Attempt #2: War on Terror War on Masturbation
Were you using "strike" or "del"?
< del > < /del >
...is officially recognized loved by the Newsvine Comment Stripper.
(On second thought, "Comment Strippers" would be an excellent name for moderators)
- 3 votes
Reason #38 I Love Newsvine: www.newsvine.com/penis-pump
#12 - Thu Aug 24, 2006 2:46 PM EDTI can't believe that there are actually four stories with that tag. :-)
- 2 votes
Newsviners seed pump used to pump seed.
(Ok, it's weak but I'm tired.)
- 1 vote
#13 - Thu Aug 24, 2006 4:34 PM EDTHas to be a simple case of his middle-eastern dialect getting the better of him. The letter P probably comes off sounding like a B. So "pump" sounds something like "bum."
Meanwhile... half? Really? I must have been missing out all this time.
#14 - Thu Aug 24, 2006 11:17 PM EDTYou know what we have to do now, right? Make fun of TSA guys.
One of these days I want to take a whole suitcase, fill it will dildoes of all kinds so it's totally obscured, just so they have to open it up with them all wiggling. Of course, I laugh my ass all the way to one of those little rooms...
- 1 vote
#15 - Thu Sep 28, 2006 8:47 PM EDTI like to think I could have come up with some sort of middle of the road between penis pump and bomb. Maybe a hookah or laboratory equipment, but I really don't think I'd have gone with bomb…
I had my suitcase cut open because I had a bar of soap in it. Also back in the UK in 2000, I was given a spy kit by a detective friend that worked in Scotland Yard, and I took it through as hand luggage and they thought it was a gun. It came up the shape of a rectangle on the screen (I'm nosey and I like looking at my underwear as it goes through)... I would have gone with bomb too.
Or here's an idea to save everyone the time, hassle and money -- pack it in your normal suitcase next time.
One of these days I want to take a whole suitcase, fill it will dildoes of all kinds so it's totally obscured, just so they have to open it up with them all wiggling. Of course, I laugh my ass all the way to one of those little rooms...
I'm going to fill my suitcase with soap and put a few snapped vibrating dildos in it with some wires hanging out.
- 1 vote
#16 - Sat Sep 30, 2006 1:39 AM EDTIt is really sad to me that he could not own up to his penis pump in public but what do you expect from a man who uses a penis pump in the first place.
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