Man Tries to Cash $50K Check From God

Wed Feb 28, 2007 5:17 PM EST

us-news, odd-news, god, counterfeiting, chase-bank, detective-jeff-white, kevin-russell, servant"-hobart

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{"commentId":559446,"authorDomain":"vikibabbles"}

Viki Babbles Gonia

Darn it! God just wrote me a check last night! Does this mean no one will cash it?

{"commentId":559446,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"vikibabbles"}

10 votes

#1 - Wed Feb 28, 2007 5:30 PM EST

{"commentId":559459,"authorDomain":"paperdragon"}

Dennis P. McCann

Of course not. It would bounce.

Every Catholic knows that God can't balance his checkbook. He always needs money.

{"commentId":559459,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"paperdragon"}

31 votes

#1.1 - Wed Feb 28, 2007 5:35 PM EST

{"commentId":559463,"authorDomain":"quinnjamin"}

quinnjaminDeleted

{"commentId":559527,"authorDomain":"abdul-majid-1990"}

Abdul Majid

I'd thought that even if it bounced, it would take a long time to go to heaven and back. You should be able to get away in that time.

{"commentId":559527,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"abdul-majid-1990"}

8 votes

#1.3 - Wed Feb 28, 2007 6:08 PM EST

{"commentId":559586,"authorDomain":"jay-baker"}

Jay Baker

I bet God poked little holes in the routing number ... to buy him time so it wouldn't bounce and all.

{"commentId":559586,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"jay-baker"}

4 votes

#1.4 - Wed Feb 28, 2007 6:38 PM EST

{"commentId":559603,"authorDomain":"vikibabbles"}

Viki Babbles Gonia

That cheating little #%$^&$%!!!

{"commentId":559603,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"vikibabbles"}

#1.5 - Wed Feb 28, 2007 6:44 PM EST

{"commentId":559607,"authorDomain":"jay-baker"}

Jay Baker

What, you've never tried that one? I don't know if it worked or if I just got lucky, but it kept me bouncing a rather large check once.

{"commentId":559607,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"jay-baker"}

2 votes

#1.6 - Wed Feb 28, 2007 6:45 PM EST

{"commentId":559621,"authorDomain":"paperdragon"}

Dennis P. McCann

There's not much point in messing with the numbers.

FSM is going to change them anyway.

{"commentId":559621,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"paperdragon"}

3 votes

#1.7 - Wed Feb 28, 2007 6:51 PM EST

{"commentId":559708,"authorDomain":"jay-baker"}

Jay Baker

Don't take His Noodlyness' name in vein (or is it vane ...).

{"commentId":559708,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"jay-baker"}

4 votes

#1.8 - Wed Feb 28, 2007 7:41 PM EST

{"commentId":559713,"authorDomain":"paperdragon"}

Dennis P. McCann

LOL. It's vain.

{"commentId":559713,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"paperdragon"}

5 votes

#1.9 - Wed Feb 28, 2007 7:46 PM EST

{"commentId":559730,"authorDomain":"vikibabbles"}

Viki Babbles Gonia

The Flying Spaghetti Monster would NEVER write a check his ...er...meatball? couldn't cash.

{"commentId":559730,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"vikibabbles"}

4 votes

#1.10 - Wed Feb 28, 2007 7:55 PM EST

{"commentId":559893,"authorDomain":"jay-baker"}

Jay Baker

I believe the correct term would be His Noodly Appendage.

And I think you're wrong too. FSM could write a check so large that even he couldn't cash ... and then he would cash it. The same goes for making a burrito too spicy to eat ...

FSM is just too legit to quit ...

{"commentId":559893,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"jay-baker"}

7 votes

#1.11 - Wed Feb 28, 2007 9:50 PM EST

{"commentId":560372,"authorDomain":"vikibabbles"}

Viki Babbles Gonia

Brilliant! All Hail the Flying Spaghetti Monster!

{"commentId":560372,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"vikibabbles"}

#1.12 - Thu Mar 1, 2007 8:07 AM EST

{"commentId":560452,"authorDomain":"davidmcgirr"}

David Mc Girr

You think he'll try to post bail with a similar check?

-Dave

{"commentId":560452,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"davidmcgirr"}

6 votes

#1.13 - Thu Mar 1, 2007 9:20 AM EST

{"commentId":560526,"authorDomain":"vas"}

vas

All of you are going to hell!

See you there.

{"commentId":560526,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"vas"}

3 votes

#1.14 - Thu Mar 1, 2007 10:06 AM EST

{"commentId":560792,"authorDomain":"vikibabbles"}

Viki Babbles Gonia

You know, if I end up in hell with some of the people commenting in this thread, you included, vas, I'd be perfectly content.

I'd at least be guaranteed not to be bored.

{"commentId":560792,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"vikibabbles"}

3 votes

#1.15 - Thu Mar 1, 2007 12:41 PM EST

{"commentId":561136,"authorDomain":"davidmcgirr"}

David Mc Girr

In fairness... I've never heard of Satan bouncing a check, or denying someone a few bucks...

-Dave

{"commentId":561136,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"davidmcgirr"}

2 votes

#1.16 - Thu Mar 1, 2007 3:43 PM EST

{"commentId":559520,"authorDomain":"scientificblog"}

Cash

Worming a $50K check out of me would take divine intervention also.

{"commentId":559520,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"scientificblog"}

9 votes

#2 - Wed Feb 28, 2007 6:03 PM EST

{"commentId":559529,"authorDomain":"abdul-majid-1990"}

Abdul Majid

Or some intervention by the CIA. Hahaha.

{"commentId":559529,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"abdul-majid-1990"}

2 votes

#2.1 - Wed Feb 28, 2007 6:09 PM EST

{"commentId":560775,"authorDomain":"Nycam"}

Nycam

No, I think the CIA just plants 'evidence' then usurps personal property and money under some self-serving act.

{"commentId":560775,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"Nycam"}

2 votes

#2.2 - Thu Mar 1, 2007 12:36 PM EST

{"commentId":559522,"authorDomain":"sigemund"}

sigemund

Ha, back to back stories from Hobart. That $50,000 can buy a lot of gas tanks filled with water . . .

{"commentId":559522,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"sigemund"}

3 votes

#3 - Wed Feb 28, 2007 6:06 PM EST

{"commentId":560116,"authorDomain":"tj"}

TopJedi

The Chase Bank teller was heard boasting, "yeah you bet I caught him, it was an invalid Bank One check."

A relative of mine once had her checkbook stolen and numerous small checks were processed signed by various Disney characters. But hey the checks were valid! If Kevin had gotten God to sign just one name his chances would have been a lot better. Just ask Donald Duck.

{"commentId":560116,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"tj"}

2 votes

#4 - Wed Feb 28, 2007 11:59 PM EST

{"commentId":560443,"authorDomain":"enigmaobscura"}

enigma

Proof enough there is no good.

{"commentId":560443,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"enigmaobscura"}

#5 - Thu Mar 1, 2007 9:14 AM EST

{"commentId":560524,"authorDomain":"nathanjohnson"}

Nathan Johnson

Freudian typo?

{"commentId":560524,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"nathanjohnson"}

#5.1 - Thu Mar 1, 2007 10:05 AM EST

{"commentId":560525,"authorDomain":"nathanjohnson"}

Nathan Johnson

Once I sent an email to God@aol.com, but I got a message that his mailbox was full.

{"commentId":560525,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"nathanjohnson"}

1 vote

#6 - Thu Mar 1, 2007 10:06 AM EST

{"commentId":560780,"authorDomain":"Nycam"}

Nycam

God's on gmail, I think. Or hotmail. Try both.

{"commentId":560780,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"Nycam"}

2 votes

#6.1 - Thu Mar 1, 2007 12:37 PM EST

{"commentId":560786,"authorDomain":"Nycam"}

Nycam

Or maybe that's Santa. Sheesh- who can keep track these days, especially with Daylight savings time coming up and all.

{"commentId":560786,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"Nycam"}

1 vote

#6.2 - Thu Mar 1, 2007 12:38 PM EST

{"commentId":560742,"authorDomain":"Ardith"}

ArdithDeleted

{"commentId":560755,"authorDomain":"gods-1"}

God-132144

Sorry about that everyone. I got a little carried away at the track this weekend and ended up needing a loan from China just to pay Heaven's electric bill. A bunch of My checks have bounced this week.

www dot blogofthegods dot com/2007/03/01/oops-my-check-bounced/

Nathan, the correct email is gods@blogofthegods.com.

{"commentId":560755,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"gods-1"}

3 votes

#8 - Thu Mar 1, 2007 12:22 PM EST

{"commentId":560789,"authorDomain":"Nycam"}

Nycam

Hey, God-132144, maybe you should ask the Navy to pick up your power bill, like Cheney.

{"commentId":560789,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"Nycam"}

2 votes

#8.1 - Thu Mar 1, 2007 12:40 PM EST

{"commentId":560794,"authorDomain":"vikibabbles"}

Viki Babbles Gonia

Wait just a minute here. GOD is on NEWSVINE?????

{"commentId":560794,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"vikibabbles"}

#8.2 - Thu Mar 1, 2007 12:43 PM EST

{"commentId":560831,"authorDomain":"gregplancich"}

Greg Plancich

God, lots of people use you and your name as justification for their beliefs so I must ask you this, are you a liberal or a conservative?

{"commentId":560831,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"gregplancich"}

2 votes

#8.3 - Thu Mar 1, 2007 1:03 PM EST

{"commentId":560877,"authorDomain":"vikibabbles"}

Viki Babbles Gonia

Nice work, Greg. I was just so shocked that God had found his way to Newsvine, I didn't even think to ask him anything!

God, there are some really important things I need to know:

1. Is global warming real, or are you just playing with us?
2. Are certain members of the US government really tools of Satan?
3. Are the Bears going to win the Super Bowl next year?

Thanks, God. I appreciate it.

{"commentId":560877,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"vikibabbles"}

1 vote

#8.4 - Thu Mar 1, 2007 1:31 PM EST

{"commentId":561031,"authorDomain":"super-structure"}

Jason Coleman

God: Can I have a pony?

{"commentId":561031,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"super-structure"}

2 votes

#8.5 - Thu Mar 1, 2007 3:01 PM EST

{"commentId":561081,"authorDomain":"Nycam"}

Nycam

God, why do bad things happen to good people?
*forlorn "precious moments" big-eyes stare*

{"commentId":561081,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"Nycam"}

2 votes

#8.6 - Thu Mar 1, 2007 3:21 PM EST

{"commentId":561232,"authorDomain":"vas"}

vas

Don't be deceived. God-132144 is a false god. Just look at the name.

The real God of course can be found at god.newsvine.com. Naturally, God's membership goes back to the beginning of Newsvine time. Apparently He has left, and being both wise and benevolent (as one would expect of God), he did annoy us with an "I'm Leaving Newsvine" article. On His column you can see who His chosen people are, and who He is keeping an eye on.

As to the question of whether He is conservative or liberal, His column clearly states, "god is not a member of any groups."

{"commentId":561232,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"vas"}

5 votes

#8.7 - Thu Mar 1, 2007 4:51 PM EST

{"commentId":561239,"authorDomain":"vas"}

vas

Typo: He did NOT annoy us with an "I'm Leaving Newsvine" article.

People who do write such articles, though, will burn in Hell.

{"commentId":561239,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"vas"}

4 votes

#8.8 - Thu Mar 1, 2007 4:54 PM EST

{"commentId":561245,"authorDomain":"super-structure"}

Jason Coleman

So much for the notion of a God who is active in man's daily life. God appears to be a "hands off" kind of guy.

No pony for me.

{"commentId":561245,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"super-structure"}

2 votes

#8.9 - Thu Mar 1, 2007 4:58 PM EST

{"commentId":560881,"authorDomain":"OnlyKnownSurvivor"}

Only Known SurvivorDeleted

{"commentId":560954,"authorDomain":"greglujan"}

greck

This guy's a Dork!

EVERYBODY knows that when dealing with a diety you always ask for cash or better yet, gold.

The way I hear it though, Zoroaster keeps a tidy checkbook, as does Buddha and the Navajo "changing woman" and they are probably trustworhy with a check.

{"commentId":560954,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"greglujan"}

#10 - Thu Mar 1, 2007 2:13 PM EST

{"commentId":562241,"authorDomain":"gods-1"}

God-132144

To answer some of your questions:

I am a conservative, because after creating the entire Universe of a billion stars in each of a billion galaxies, I am incredibly concerned that occasionally two dudes might kiss each other on your planet.

Global warming is real, but don't worry. You're supposed to ravage the planet; Ann Coulter says so. When this Earth can no longer support human life I'll just make you a new one.

Yes, certain members of the U.S. government are tools of Satan. I won't tell you which ones, though, because that would take all the fun out of it. Let's just say some of Satan's demons like to shoot old men in the face.

I will win the Superbowl next year, just as I did this year (there's a post about it on blogofthegods.com). I also won the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress.

Jason, you have My permission to get a pony.

Why do bad things happen to good people? Because sometimes I drink too much.

As for the charge that I'm a false God: not true. We only recently got a broadband connection up in Heaven, and it took Our engineers a while to come up with a keyboard that didn't shatter into a million pieces upon a touch from My finger. By the time I got online, some prankster had already seen fit to imitate Me here...

{"commentId":562241,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"gods-1"}

8 votes

#11 - Fri Mar 2, 2007 9:57 AM EST

{"commentId":562439,"authorDomain":"onika"}

onika

i think that was creative.... maybe he will get out of purgatory sooner...

{"commentId":562439,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"onika"}

1 vote

#12 - Fri Mar 2, 2007 11:39 AM EST

{"commentId":566507,"authorDomain":"stolte-sawa"}

Ryan Stolte-Sawa

Isn't "Thieves of the Bank of Jehovah" a bolgia in the 8th Circle of Hell?

{"commentId":566507,"threadId":"80713","contentId":"591660","authorDomain":"stolte-sawa"}

1 vote

#12.1 - Sun Mar 4, 2007 8:04 PM EST

{"canLink":false,"threadId":"80713","isPrivate":false}

Man Tries to Cash $50K Check From God	The San Francisco Chronicle	Fri Mar 2	0
Man tries to cash check from God	The Indianapolis Star	Thu Mar 1	1
Man arrested for trying to cash $50,000 check from the Lord	nwitimes.com	Thu Mar 1	1

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Man Tries to Cash $50K Check From God

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