— On tonight's Dancing with the Stars, Tom Bergeron announces that "the good times are over." It seems like they go over yesterday's show forever. Heather Mills says she can't take Carrie Ann's advice about her posture because as soon as she thinks about her upper body she falls down. John seems amused by the judges' criticisms. Ian says he'll have to add Billy Ray's "Bubba Chicken dance" to his recipe.
As an encore, the whole group reprises their swing dance. I wish that I was watching this on a bigger TV, because I still can't figure out what's going on. It's great though, and looks like they're all having a fantastic time.
Joss Stone performs. I don't like what Julianne and Elena wear as they dance in this part.
We hear the audience's thoughts after yesterday's dances: Generally, everyone thinks Laila's awesome, and while some think that the judges should "lay off Ian," others think Ian could be in the bottom two tonight.
The first safe couple are announced, and it's no surprise – Apolo & Julianne, and Laila & Maks. Well, duh.
The cast of Dream Girls performs, which the Dancing with the Stars audience seems to enjoy. Samantha is with the two safe couples and points out that Laila and Apolo are the only two athletes left. Laila says Apolo doesn't have a chance, and Apolo jokes that he might concede right now. Samantha asks "Is he your biggest, or smallest, threat?" Laila jokes that she "should have dropped him" in the group swing.
Time for another instalment of Dance Along At Home with Jimmy Kimmel, who claims that President Bush called him up and wants to make dance classes mandatory. He and Guillermo (who is looking quite fetching tonight) teach the foxtrot. ("No jerkiness!")
Joss Stone performs again, and they plug her new album.
The stars explain how they're dealing with going a little stir-crazy after almost ten weeks of Dancing with the Stars rehearsals and performances. Heather says "you just go loopy," and that she tends to giggle hysterically. Joey, unsurprisingly, becomes even more silly & easily distracted. Laila says she's goofy in practice too. Edyta can't keep John focused, and Billy Ray avoids practising (shocked, aren't you.) Ian says he's a class clown, and tells a joke. (What did the scarf say to the hat? You go on ahead, I'll hang around.)
One more couple is safe: it's Joey & Kym. However, John & Edyta are in the bottom two. (Neither is particularly shocking.)
The stars explain what they do backstage to prepare for performances. Apolo, ever the athlete, jumps rope and listens to music. John reads, & Billy Ray plays guitar. Laila just relaxes & rehearses, while Joey "has fun," which apparently means shaking the trailer to make Kym yell at him. Ian tells a cheesy story about how he always goes out to his dad (in the audience) and kisses him on the cheek, and his dad says "Go get 'em, tiger!" Heather says that her daughter gave her a penny for luck, and that she kisses it before she goes out. (She says last week she forgot, and then fell.) All of them worry a lot about forgetting their steps.
And, we learn that Ian & Cheryl are safe. So are Billy Ray & Karina, to my mild surprise. That leaves Heather & Jonathan in the bottom two…and I guess Heather didn't kiss that penny enough, because she's out.
Heather's brought what looks like a long farewell speech written out on paper. She says they knew they would be going as soon as Carrie Ann gave them that seven yesterday, thanks practically everyone in the world, and says she's glad to have raised a lot of money for charity. They cut her off after a bit, telling her to save the speech for somewhere else. Everyone hugs Heather and Jonathan.
Next week will be two individual dances for the remaining contestants. Will Ian be able to pull himself back up? Will Billy Ray mess up and land in the bottom two again? Will John be out next? Comment below to share your opinions on Dancing with the Stars.
-Mel Harris, BuddyTV Staff Columnist
Photo courtesy of ABC
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