— America's Got Talent is back and, if you take a look at our image right here, that also means that The Hoff is back (and this time he's not on the ground trying to eat a cheesburger). Brandy is gone and in her stead comes Sharon Osbourne, who will often speak at pitches only dogs can hear. This should be a whole lot of fun. If we can get one contestant as good as Bobby Badfingers, this will be a good season. What follows are my live thoughts while watchign the episode.
Apparently, after America's Got Talent became popular in America, the show went on to go global.
Jerry Springer, it's good to have you back, sir.
You have to like the gall of this show: the preview for the season has "Carmina Burana" playing in the background.
Wow, I guess we've got a whopping four weeks of auditions before we go to
Springer announces Hasselhoff as one of our "greatest entertainment legends" amid footage of Knight Rider and The Hoff singing on the Berlin Wall.
Piers Morgan. Like Simon Cowell, but not.
Okay, I won't give you any more quotes...we'll just say Springer and the gang are prone to hyperbole.
Our first auditions are coming from Dallas.
Here's how we're going to do this. I'm going to try and cover every audition. Good luck to me.
Tony, a silky voiced, 46 year old black man, is up first. He's singing the Barry White version of The Pussycat Dolls "Don't You Wish Your Girlfriend was Hot Like Me". Fairly high concept, but pretty terrible. Once he gets to the chorus, he rips off a robe, and goes bare-chested. He gets X-ed off the stage.
Hasselhoff is sporting about four buttons worth of man cleavage tonight. Good stuff.
The Duttons(sp?) is a huge family country band. I think I count ten members, but it might be more. It's all banjo and fiddle no singing and pretty lame if you ask me. There's a lot of solos and "Dueling Banjos" is thrown in for good measure. Piers buzzes them at the tail end.
This is sure to be a fan favorite. I just can't deal with the inherent punch-me-in-the-face cuteness of family bands. Hoff and Sharon love them, but Piers didn't like the kids at the end.
They're going to Vegas.
Oh, it's our first Elvis impersonator. The crowd starts booing the second he gets on stage. All three judges buzz him before he starts singing. After Springer interjects, they give him a chance to sing. He sings a couple bars, and they buzz him again. Probably a good decision.
Megan Miller, good-looking 18-year old from Texas, is up next. She brings out two hand puppets. Yep, she's a ventriloquist.
She's pretty good at the ventriloquism, but she sings Supercalifragilisticexpealidocious, and it is horribly annoying. Piers agrees with me. Hoff and Sharon do not, so she's heading to Vegas.
We've got a lot of Bianca Ryan wannabes trying out this year (i.e. tiny little girls singing). Erica Marks is the first to go. Piers buzzes her immediately, but she's pretty good for her age, but I find it really creepy. Bianca Ryan creeped me out too. Piers bashes this little girl, verbally rips her to pieces. Two judges vote no.
-Oscar Dahl, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image Courtesy of ModernFads.com)