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U.S. socialite Paris Hilton listens to a reporter's question during a news conference promoting FILA clothing at the Hyatt Hotel in Seoul, South Korea, in this Nov. 9, 2007 file photo. Conservationists on Tuesday, Nov. 13, 2007, hailed Hilton, who has been convicted of driving under the influence of alcohol, for apparently trying to highlight the cause of binge-drinking elephants in northeastern India. (AP Photo/Lee Jin-man, File)
— In a Nov. 13 story, The Associated Press incorrectly reported that Paris Hilton was praised by conservationists for highlighting the problem of binge-drinking elephants in northeastern India. Lori Berk, a publicist for Hilton, said she never made any comments about helping drunken elephants in India.
The AP
This is way too funny to be real.
#1 - Tue Nov 13, 2007 10:35 AM ESTThis is way too funny to be real.
I totally agree
We need to stop making alcohol available to them
This was by far my favorite line of the whole story.
On a more serious note though, I can't believe all the things to do with your "celebrity-ness" this is "praised." I'll take Angelina any day over saving the lives of humans over making sure the elephants stay sober. Sheesh!
On a more serious note though, I can't believe all the things to do with your "celebrity-ness" this is "praised." I'll take Angelina any day over saving the lives of humans over making sure the elephants stay sober. Sheesh!
Paris has set the bar pretty low. As long as she's not doing anything actively destructive, expect her to get good press - depressing as it is.
Paris has set the bar pretty low.
I agree. Did you see that eyeshadow? She looks like Drag Queen Barbie.
Or, perhaps, Drag Queen Ken.
We need to stop making alcohol available to them
An elephant walks into a pub, steps up to the bar and says, "give me a double", The barkeep replies. "read the sign". "We do not serve Elephants here!" The elephant grabs him up with his trunk and throws him into a wall knocking him out. Then helps himself to whatever he wants.
What is the moral of this story?
Oh! this whole Paris thing never happened BTW, she never said anything of the sort, AP made it all up.
The moral of the story is "Elephants who drink are entitled to self-service at certain pubs."
Either that or "don't piss off an elephant when he's got a snootful."
I am still trying to find the satire tag.... did I miss it???
Of all the causes in the world, she picks this one??? Better than socialites getting drunk and going on rampages I guess.....
#3 - Tue Nov 13, 2007 10:39 AM ESTMust...... Stop...... Laughing....... Before...... I......
Fall...... Over........
#6 - Tue Nov 13, 2007 10:46 AM EST"As part of her global elephant campaign, Hilton should, in fact, think of visiting this region literally infested with elephants," Goswami said.
Awesome. She actually has a global elephant campaign. Well, don't let her go to Africa, where they're hunted in order to manage over-population.
#7 - Tue Nov 13, 2007 10:48 AM ESTAAAAAH!
you beat me to it. I was totally going to use that exact same quote and say that somehow those words strung together are either a sign of the impending apocalypse or that it would make a really good bumper sticker.
A drunk elephant? My, that puts a whole new spin on the "three blind men feeling an elephant" parable.
#8 - Tue Nov 13, 2007 10:58 AM ESTThis is the single funniest thing I've ever read on Newsvine, hands down.
#9 - Tue Nov 13, 2007 10:59 AM ESTShe'll be teaching them how to purge after every meal next.
#10 - Tue Nov 13, 2007 11:00 AM ESTI'm more concerned about binge drinking elephants in the white house.
#11 - Tue Nov 13, 2007 11:17 AM ESTBecause only skinny pretty humans are allowed to be drunks.
#14 - Tue Nov 13, 2007 11:29 AM ESTbinge-drinking elephants
I'm sure Paris will be remembered forever for her helpful contributions. She has got to be kidding, no maybe not....
#15 - Tue Nov 13, 2007 11:48 AM ESTI would like to point out that every comment moves this article up the Vine, with the result being it's display as Newsvine's leading story for an inordinate amount of time.
(And yes, I realize this comment is contributing to it, but come on people!)
#16 - Tue Nov 13, 2007 12:36 PM ESTThe laughter that this article creates will do the world good ;-)
I just caught the picture that goes with the article, I'd bet $10 she was plastered then, or at least stoned.
#17 - Tue Nov 13, 2007 1:25 PM ESTI think she prefers coke. Maybe she'll give some to the elephants to get them off alcohol.
I just caught the picture that goes with the article, I'd bet $10 she was plastered then, or at least stoned.
You might have just made a good point. Maybe this whole story was real after all, when she sobered up, she decided to talk AP into pulling the story and claim she never said any of it.......
No words. None!
#18 - Tue Nov 13, 2007 2:50 PM ESTI can't wait for Paris to open Africa's first 10 step program for Elephants, maybe she and Britney can be teachers ?
I can't wait for Paris to open Africa's first 10 step program for Elephants, maybe she and Britney can be teachers ?
The 11th step will be for an elephant to get drunk and flash their va-ja-jay all over the Serengeti.
I was hoping it would be to sit on Paris and Britney. Accident of course....
Of all the causes in all the world she had to stumble onto this one...
#19 - Tue Nov 13, 2007 3:16 PM ESTArticle revised: title now says "AP Kills Paris Hilton Story". Huh?
#20 - Tue Nov 13, 2007 5:29 PM ESTGAUHATI, India — Kill BC-People-Paris Hilton. Lori Berk, a publicist for Hilton, says she never made any comments about helping drunken elephants in India.
http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5jz5-rV8c2xj6rJTVpB3tPPmWScJQD8ST21DO2
Guess its true !
#21 - Tue Nov 13, 2007 5:47 PM ESTIt would have been the most commented article in Newsvine's history is my guess and also the worlds biggest subject to joke about. Too bad it wasn't true. It sure did sound like something that Paris would say.
Yeah, because publicists never deny that their clients have made bat@!$%# crazy statements. I mean, next to lawyers, they are the most trustworthy people on the planet.
The local morning SPEWS program actually had footage they were showing while they read this story. The talking heads even speculated about naturally fermented fruits as being a source. The "real" problem was attributed to farmers feeding them fermented rice.
The race to entertain has outdone the need for truthful news.
#23 - Tue Nov 13, 2007 11:11 PM ESTThe local SPEWS aired a retraction. The drunken elephants were real. Paris was not!
Did anyone copy the story? I would want to keep it to read later because it was hilarious.
#24 - Wed Nov 14, 2007 10:57 AM ESTYou're in Easy Mode. If you prefer, you can use XHTML Mode instead. |
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