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New idea in mortuary science: Dissolving bodies with lye

Thu May 8, 2008 2:46 PM EDT
us-news, science, bodies, dissolving-bodies
Norma Love, Associated Press

Brad Crain, president of BioSafe Engineering, stands by one of the company's steel cylinders in Brownsburg, Ind. Monday April 7, 2008. Since they first walked the planet, humans have either buried or burned their dead. Now a new option using one of these cyclinders is generating interest: dissolving bodies. (AP Photo Michael Conroy)

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CONCORD — Since they first walked the planet, humans have either buried or burned their dead. Now a new option is generating interest — dissolving bodies in lye and flushing the brownish, syrupy residue down the drain.

The process is called alkaline hydrolysis and was developed in this country 16 years ago to get rid of animal carcasses. It uses lye, 300-degree heat and 60 pounds of pressure per square inch to destroy bodies in big stainless-steel cylinders that are similar to pressure cookers.

No funeral homes in the U.S. — or anywhere else in the world, as far as the equipment manufacturer knows — offer it. In fact, only two U.S. medical centers use it on human bodies, and only on cadavers donated for research.

But because of its environmental advantages, some in the funeral industry say it could someday rival burial and cremation.

"It's not often that a truly game-changing technology comes along in the funeral service," the newsletter Funeral Service Insider said in September. But "we might have gotten a hold of one."

Getting the public to accept a process that strikes some as ghastly may be the biggest challenge. Psychopaths and dictators have used acid or lye to torture or erase their victims, and legislation to make alkaline hydrolysis available to the public in New York state was branded "Hannibal Lecter's bill" in a play on the sponsor's name — Sen. Kemp Hannon — and the movie character's sadism.

Alkaline hydrolysis is legal in Minnesota and in New Hampshire, where a Manchester funeral director is pushing to offer it. But he has yet to line up the necessary regulatory approvals, and some New Hampshire lawmakers want to repeal the little-noticed 2006 state law legalizing it.

"We believe this process, which enables a portion of human remains to be flushed down a drain, to be undignified," said Patrick McGee, a spokesman for the Roman Catholic Diocese of Manchester.

State Rep. Barbara French said she, for one, might choose alkaline hydrolysis.

"I'm getting near that age and thought about cremation, but this is equally as good and less of an environmental problem," the 81-year-old lawmaker said. "It doesn't bother me any more than being burned up. Cremation, you're burned up. I've thought about it, but I'm dead."

In addition to the liquid, the process leaves a dry bone residue similar in appearance and volume to cremated remains. It could be returned to the family in an urn or buried in a cemetery.

The coffee-colored liquid has the consistency of motor oil and a strong ammonia smell. But proponents say it is sterile and can, in most cases, be safely poured down the drain, provided the operation has the necessary permits.

Alkaline hydrolysis doesn't take up as much space in cemeteries as burial. And the process could ease concerns about crematorium emissions, including carbon dioxide as well as mercury from silver dental fillings.

The University of Florida in Gainesville and the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn., have used alkaline hydrolysis to dispose of cadavers since the mid-1990s and 2005, respectively.

Brad Crain, president of BioSafe Engineering, the Brownsburg, Ind., company that makes the steel cylinders, estimated 40 to 50 other facilities use them on human medical waste, animal carcasses or both. The users include veterinary schools, universities, pharmaceutical companies and the U.S. government.

Liquid waste from cadavers goes down the drain at the both the Mayo Clinic and the University of Florida, as does the liquid residue from human tissue and animal carcasses at alkaline hydrolysis sites elsewhere.

Manchester funeral director Chad Corbin wants to operate a $300,000 cylinder in New Hampshire. He said that an alkaline hydrolysis operation is more expensive to set up than a crematorium but that he would charge customers about as much as he would for cremation.

George Carlson, an industrial-waste manager for the New Hampshire Department of Environmental Services, said things the public might find more troubling routinely flow into sewage treatment plants in the U.S. all the time. That includes blood and spillover embalming fluid from funeral homes.

The department issued a permit to Corbin last year, but he let the deal on the property fall through because of delays in getting the other necessary permits. Now he must go through the process all over again, and there is gathering resistance. But he said he is undeterred.

"I don't not know how long it will take," he said recently, "but eventually it will happen."

___

AP News Researcher Judith Ausuebel contributed to this report.

___

On the Net:

http://www.biosafeengineering.com/tissue/features.html

http://www.resomation.com/index.html

© 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.
  • Enjoy this article? Help vote it up the 'Vine.

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  • Regions: United States , Chad , Boston
  • Public Discussion (105)
Jump to discussion page: 1 2
jpark

Doesn't seem like an improvement over cremation. If widely adopted, the process would add significant pollution to the water supply.

Cremation resolves mostly to CO2 and calcium dust, neither of which is harmful.

  • 8 votes
#1 - Thu May 8, 2008 3:09 PM EDT
newbroom

The coffee-colored liquid has the consistency of motor oil

Heeey!

  • 5 votes
#1.1 - Thu May 8, 2008 3:29 PM EDT
Ryan Stolte-Sawa
The coffee-colored liquid has the consistency of motor oil

Heeey!

Valvoline is people! People!!

  • 30 votes
#1.2 - Thu May 8, 2008 3:37 PM EDT
David Mc Girr

Valvoline is people! People!!

I do believe you've just won this thread.

Well done, stick it on your CV.

-Dave

  • 9 votes
#1.3 - Thu May 8, 2008 4:07 PM EDT
Behind My Screen

pollution how?

  • 3 votes
#1.4 - Thu May 8, 2008 5:50 PM EDT
Ryan Stolte-Sawa

Well, an oversaturation of lye, for starters.

  • 4 votes
#1.5 - Thu May 8, 2008 6:11 PM EDT
Behind My Screen

Then you send it to a tank that gets cleaned out like a septic take and then the remains are disposed of properly.

  • 3 votes
#1.6 - Thu May 8, 2008 6:51 PM EDT
Ryan Stolte-Sawa

Isn't there also the added difficulty of dumping body waste like pharmaceuticals and consumed chemicals back into the water supply? This is a problem that's changing America's freshwater ecosystems because sanitation plants don't (can't?) filter for these "trace" substances.

  • 7 votes
#1.7 - Thu May 8, 2008 6:56 PM EDT
Barry Rutherford

On first blush it seems like a great solution for the environment. On second thoughts I worry that it would be open to widespread abuse if is rolled out nationally/internationally.

  • 4 votes
#1.8 - Thu May 8, 2008 8:55 PM EDT
Kokayi

Please share your concerns. I have not thought it out that far. I think many social taboos would make this type of transition difficult to garner a large market.

  • 2 votes
#1.9 - Thu May 8, 2008 10:53 PM EDT
Barry Rutherford

Please share your concerns.

My concerns may well be unfounded. But I see the device being used for the wrong purpose such as killing & eliminating people without trace. Okay well you might say this can be done now. I would argue that this machine would make it easier & simpler therefore facillitating the process

  • 3 votes
#1.10 - Thu May 8, 2008 11:12 PM EDT
Igor The Troll

Easy way to commit genocide! No evidence found!

  • 3 votes
#1.11 - Thu May 8, 2008 11:51 PM EDT
Kokayi

Thanks Barrys & Igor. That concept completely slipped my mind. Perhaps we need to monitor the spread of the technology. However on the other hand it could be safer way to process massive corpses after a major tragedy like earthquakes or hurricanes. Using land for mass burials has all those houses built on Indian burial ground horror movie connotations. Who keeps up with those burial sites? It is really weird when you run across an unmarked cemetery.

    #1.12 - Fri May 9, 2008 1:17 AM EDT
    Igor The Troll

    Yeap! Also it will prevent "The Return of the Living Dead!"

    You never know in the future! One can die but not really dead!

    • 1 vote
    #1.13 - Fri May 9, 2008 1:27 AM EDT
    Infohack

    If widely adopted, the process would add significant pollution to the water supply

    Not that I find this idea particularly appealing (or new, since mass murderers and the mafia thought of it long ago), but just to note...neutralization of a lye solution with HCl would result in ordinary table salt.

    • 1 vote
    #1.14 - Fri May 9, 2008 1:28 AM EDT
    dungbeetlemania

    Point taken, Infohack, but the liquid waste is not just lye, it's also whatever a body becomes when you put it in lye. Also, you can't pump all that salt into the water supply, and good luck selling it as table salt!

    • 1 vote
    #1.15 - Fri May 9, 2008 2:37 AM EDT
    Infohack

    Just pointing out that the remains of the process are organic compounds and salt and not particularly toxic.

    Personally I'd opt for the Viking funeral pyre...probably not the most environmentally responsible choice ;)

    • 1 vote
    #1.16 - Fri May 9, 2008 2:51 AM EDT
    Igor The Troll

    Maybe we can make Lunch Boxes from it?

    Salted deluded meat condiment! Just mix it with some mashed potatoes and veggies and you are set to go!

    Great for kid school lunches!

    Hey Kid, eat your dead grandfather today! (sic)

    This Machine is Dangerous!

    • 1 vote
    #1.17 - Fri May 9, 2008 2:52 AM EDT
    Robert Blevins - AB of Seattle

    IMHO this is completely disgusting. And consider THIS:

    If this practice were adopted on a large-scale basis, soon the protesters would emerge claiming pollution to the water supply, and I don't blame them. But it could get worse. Think about all those places where you can take your used oil for recycling.

    Except this time you are dragging a bottle of brown goo into your local facility and having it dumped in with all the other lye-based goo - to be picked up later in a big truck for recycling.

    Next thing you know they'll want to refine it and make plastics out of it or something...

    Ack!

    • 3 votes
    #1.18 - Fri May 9, 2008 3:10 AM EDT
    Igor The Troll

    The more one talks about this Monster and the applications of the byproduct, the less this technology is palpable and even desired!


    This is getting to be on the same level as cloning humans!

    This is morally, legally, and politically offensive!

      #1.19 - Fri May 9, 2008 4:05 AM EDT
      Martin Westenfelder

      Igor

      Thanks for bringing this into perspective.

      The idea to flush human remains through the toilet sink is utterly disgusting!

      And the idea to investigate an industrialized method of "make disappear without trace", I can't help it, sounds like "Auschwitz 2.0" to me.

      • 3 votes
      #1.20 - Fri May 9, 2008 7:51 AM EDT
      Igor The Troll

      Sounds like a free reign for "Holohoax".

      Are people so gullible they cannot see the crimes to humanity this contraption is capable of?

      Kill 6 million people and hide all evidence!

      • 1 vote
      #1.21 - Fri May 9, 2008 8:03 AM EDT
      Infohack

      It's brilliant, really, the globalists could reduce the population to sustainable levels, while at the same time meeting the world's post-oil energy demands. The average human has something like 15-25% body fat.

      It gives a whole new meaning to the term "biodiesel."

      • 1 vote
      #1.22 - Fri May 9, 2008 10:46 AM EDT
      Martin Westenfelder

      Ooh folks why don't you add this one too:

      "Don't forget to cut off hair first and make U-boat insulations with them."

      "The fluid could easily be transformed into industrial soap"

      Look, I'm not a friend of bold letters, but I'll have to:

      Your jokes are an exact counterpart to the Holocaust jokes of once.

      You are being highly insulting towards a Jewish member on this board.

      Your cultural and historic insensitivity is appalling.

      I am utterly disgusted by the stuff you post here.

      I wish you to stop NOW!

      • 5 votes
      #1.23 - Fri May 9, 2008 11:07 AM EDT
      Martin Westenfelder

      Ooh dear, now I see down there that you are happily participating in this, Igor.

      You know, Igor, your parents or grandparents might have burst out in tears upon reading something like this.

      But clearly it seems time goes by.

      So everygody, don't take the above too serious, continue with biofuel, lamb-lights and bodylotions at your wish.

      Sincerely, wow

      • 3 votes
      #1.24 - Fri May 9, 2008 11:20 AM EDT
      Infohack

      Sorry Martin, no offense intended.

      I guess I didn't make that connection, I was thinking more along the lines of Soylent Green.

      • 1 vote
      #1.25 - Fri May 9, 2008 11:26 AM EDT
      Martin Westenfelder

      The blame is on me.

      I felt warped into a discussion board of Neo-NAZIs when reading this.

      In Europe these kinds of jokes are an absolute taboo - 100% absolute taboo - you don't do it.

      NAZI territory!

      Therefore my harsh reaction.

      I forgot that this is a US dominated board where this might be sort-off jolly joking without afterthoughts.

      • 6 votes
      #1.26 - Fri May 9, 2008 11:48 AM EDT
      Edelweiss

      I'm very sorry, too Martin. I certainly meant no comparison with Nazis in my comment below, but I can see how the connection might be made. Just so you know, it is also considered in very, very poor taste in America, to make jokes about Nazis torturing and killing 6 million people. Not acceptable, and again, I apologize if my comment was a part of what hurt you.

      • 1 vote
      #1.27 - Fri May 9, 2008 12:23 PM EDT
      Igor The Troll

      Martin Westenfelder, who is joking and why do I need to joke?

      I am trying to use as much sarcasm as possible to show how evil this machine can become.

      FYI My father was in Auschwitz, he lost 7 of his siblings and his mother to Nazi execution there.

      So I think earned the right to compare how this machine can be used for a genocide and a holocaust and then the event would be denied.

      This is not a funny matter!

      • 2 votes
      #1.28 - Fri May 9, 2008 12:59 PM EDT
      Reply
      harshpaul

      creepy

      • 2 votes
      Reply#2 - Thu May 8, 2008 3:11 PM EDT
      timcord2

      yeah, i think this technology was developed at guantanamo....

        #2.1 - Thu May 8, 2008 10:01 PM EDT
        Robert Blevins - AB of Seattle

        '"It's not often that a truly game-changing technology comes along in the funeral service," the newsletter Funeral Service Insider said in September. But "we might have gotten a hold of one."

        He talks about it as if they just thought up the West Coast Offense for funeral parlors.

        • 2 votes
        #2.2 - Fri May 9, 2008 3:16 AM EDT
        Glinda

        I guess the 'scoops' are few and far between when you write for the Funeral Service Insider.... can you imagine?

        • 1 vote
        #2.3 - Fri May 9, 2008 4:39 PM EDT
        John Whittet

        I'd imagine the articles are much more along the lines of "You'll never guess what Fred is doing!"

        • 1 vote
        #2.4 - Fri May 9, 2008 5:13 PM EDT
        Reply
        Slack

        Since they first walked the planet, humans have either buried or burned their dead.

        What about disposal in water (e.g. India), dismembering and leaving for scavengers (e.g. Tibet), mummification (perhaps a subset of burial), or cannibalism?

        • 4 votes
        #3 - Thu May 8, 2008 3:14 PM EDT
        harshpaul

        What about disposal in water (e.g. India)

        The dead aren't "disposed" in water in India. They are burned. It is only the remnants (eg teeth and some bones and ash) that are disposed off in water.

        Since they first walked the planet, humans have either buried or burned their dead.

        That line probably refers to the more widespread "methods" in use. A few you mention are related only to a small set of cultures/people.

        • 4 votes
        #3.1 - Thu May 8, 2008 3:39 PM EDT
        Ryan Stolte-Sawa

        I think green burials--where an unadorned, unembalmed body is buried in a shroud of natural fabric--are still the best alternative to conventional cadaver disposal methods. That's what I want when I die.

        You read it here first, bereaved loved ones of the future.

        • 16 votes
        #3.2 - Thu May 8, 2008 3:46 PM EDT
        harshpaul

        Right. If you want to go to the afterlife in an environment friendly way, that would be the best option.

        • 2 votes
        #3.3 - Thu May 8, 2008 3:53 PM EDT
        jpark

        Most places have legal requirements which prevent such natural disposal.

        • 7 votes
        #3.4 - Thu May 8, 2008 3:56 PM EDT
        Slack

        The dead are burned in India if they can afford the 400+ kilos of wood it takes to cremate a body, and pay for services. Otherwise you get wrapped in a blanket, tied to a rock and dumped off a boat.

        I realize burial and burning are the predominant methods of disposal, but the line does say "either or" implying other options are not used at all.

        • 2 votes
        #3.5 - Thu May 8, 2008 4:06 PM EDT
        David Mc Girr

        Dibs on a viking funeral.
        Float my boat out to sea, then torch it.
        ....Make sure I'm dead first. Seriously.

        -Dave

        • 13 votes
        #3.6 - Thu May 8, 2008 4:09 PM EDT
        newbroom

        This article caught my attention for several reasons....I went to HS in Manchester and then Concord NH.....my brother, an excellent family counselor for a local funeral business, attended UF.....and...of course, there's always that inevitable thingy that we all sorta avoid considering as part of our consciousness....hint: it ain't taxes...

        but....as for all things green...that's been on my radar, too...the green disposition of remains...I talked w/ Li'l brother about that, and he's getting his act together to do his own thing, which will also feature the availability of green arangement....then I read this comment:

        Most places have legal requirements which prevent such natural disposal.

        and I thought, yeah....probably right...most funeral businesses are now corporations....and they can afford to buy legislation via lobby. more entrepreneurship society crapola...

        • 5 votes
        #3.7 - Thu May 8, 2008 4:13 PM EDT
        harshpaul

        The dead are burned in India if they can afford the 400+ kilos of wood it takes to cremate a body, and pay for services. Otherwise you get wrapped in a blanket, tied to a rock and dumped off a boat.

        I don't know where you got this info from. But I can tell you that it is incorrect.

        I realize burial and burning are the predominant methods of disposal, but the line does say "either or" implying other options are not used at all.

        All of us know that isn't the case. Let's not get into a study of grammatical or syntactical errors.

        • 5 votes
        #3.8 - Thu May 8, 2008 4:16 PM EDT
        Slack

        I got this info on a trip to India where I was able to observe bodies in the river firsthand.

        As for grammatical or syntactical errors, that's true. My intention (though poorly executed) was to point out that while some people seem to feel this lye-liquification method is grisly, or disrespectful, it is no more so than other techniques practiced elsewhere in the world.

        • 3 votes
        #3.9 - Thu May 8, 2008 4:41 PM EDT
        harshpaul

        I got this info on a trip to India where I was able to observe bodies in the river firsthand.

        Then I think you came across some isolated case or some tribe that uses this method. I wouldn't have believed this, but do so because you claim firsthand knowledge. There are vast cultural differences in India and what you say could be quite possible for a particular region or tribe. But again, it is not very prevalent. I can say so because I live in India.

        This discussion has been great Slack, but I suggest we end it here. Because, IMO, we are going off the point (scope) of this article.

        • 3 votes
        #3.10 - Thu May 8, 2008 5:01 PM EDT
        Edelweiss

        I was hoping that my loved ones would make little bars of soap out of me and then have them available in a little basket at my funeral, so that mourners could all take one home. However, that idea was not well-received among my loved ones...

        • 8 votes
        #3.11 - Thu May 8, 2008 7:49 PM EDT
        jpark

        Well, that would be rendering your fat and mixing it with lye.

        Don't know what they would do with the glycerin ...

        • 3 votes
        #3.12 - Thu May 8, 2008 8:00 PM EDT
        timcord2

        and the soap would coffee coloured apparently

        • 5 votes
        #3.13 - Thu May 8, 2008 10:06 PM EDT
        jpark

        and the soap would coffee coloured apparently

        Not if you just used the fat. Then it would look just like ivory soap (if you stir it well).

        • 3 votes
        #3.14 - Thu May 8, 2008 10:11 PM EDT
        Tyson Hamrick

        @ jpark - His name is Robert Paulson!

        Wouldn't it be wild if they found out this stuff worked like motor oil? Then you wouldn't need an urn or anything for your loved ones remains, just buy that new car and change relatives every 3000 miles or so.

        Sorry, that's real sick, but it's Friday and I'm punchy.

        • 4 votes
        #3.15 - Fri May 9, 2008 8:06 AM EDT
        Brian White

        Then I think you came across some isolated case or some tribe that uses this method.

        The very first episode of Dirty Jobs I ever saw showcased a guy whose job it was to haul dead bodies out of the Ganges. It was a full time job for several people. So, what is the basis of your insistence that it does not happen?

        • 2 votes
        #3.16 - Fri May 9, 2008 12:43 PM EDT
        Reply
        Restso

        I'm sure there'll be a big interest for this item in the serial killer maket.

        • 4 votes
        Reply#4 - Thu May 8, 2008 3:21 PM EDT
        John Whittet

        $300,000 is a bit much for a serial killer.

        • 3 votes
        #4.1 - Thu May 8, 2008 3:50 PM EDT
        Restso

        Good point.

          #4.2 - Thu May 8, 2008 4:31 PM EDT
          timcord2

          not that guy from no country for old men

          • 1 vote
          #4.3 - Thu May 8, 2008 10:07 PM EDT
          Restso

          that guy from no country for old men

          Yeah, he didn't seem to concerned with bodies...

            #4.4 - Thu May 8, 2008 11:11 PM EDT
            Barry Rutherford
            was hoping that my loved ones would make little bars of soap out of me and then have them available in a little basket at my funeral, so that mourners could all take one home. However, that idea was not well-received among my loved ones

            Many years ago a freind of mine suggested this as a way of getting rid of a debt collector. Offer them your body which would boil up to about six or seven bars of soap.
            Not sure how true it is but it sounds whacky!

              #4.5 - Fri May 9, 2008 12:51 AM EDT
              Reply
              Bill Harrison

              When I was a boy I attended more than one hog butchering wherein the remains of the carcass were hauled off to the "rendering" plant to make use of the hide, hooves, etc. The company is now huge and is called Valley Proteins. Chances are your cat or dog is eating some of the leftover remains of downer animals, etc.

              • 5 votes
              Reply#5 - Thu May 8, 2008 3:40 PM EDT
              sirmonkey

              I'm not quite sure where you're going with this... but is Ted Turner a major investor? ;)

                #5.1 - Thu May 8, 2008 8:17 PM EDT
                Reply
                Pietro Sommavilla

                "Alkaline hydrolysis doesn't take up as much space in cemeteries as burial. And the process could ease concerns about crematorium emissions, including carbon dioxide as well as mercury from silver dental fillings."

                Now that's good thinking! Uh, but what we'll say now; liquid to liquid or dust-to-dust?

                • 2 votes
                Reply#6 - Thu May 8, 2008 4:06 PM EDT
                Kokayi

                I have to agree. I'm glad someone else noticed that statement.

                I was recently informed that mercury vapor is very poisonous.

                If the process becomes available in my area I would consider it. I want folks to party and have a good time at my memorial. I don't have any after death attachment sentiments to what would have formerly been my body. The funeral is for them.

                • 2 votes
                #6.1 - Thu May 8, 2008 7:20 PM EDT
                Reply
                dungbeetlemania

                The coffee-colored liquid has the consistency of motor oil and a strong ammonia smell. But proponents say it is sterile and can, in most cases, be safely poured down the drain, provided the operation has the necessary permits.

                They also go on about how cremation liquid sometimes spills down the drains, as if this is anything like the volumes thousands of bodies a day will add. I don't think I want to go that way, how can it be environmentally friendly when it smells strongly of ammonia?

                I'm with stolte-sawa on this one. Actually, I want a tree planted on my body so I can become part of it :)

                • 5 votes
                Reply#7 - Thu May 8, 2008 4:25 PM EDT
                Ryan Stolte-Sawa

                I'm with stolte-sawa on this one. Actually, I want a tree planted on my body so I can become part of it :)

                That's kind of nice, but I feel sorry for the future kid who crawls inside the hollow trunk of that tree and finds your bones. Or maybe it would be really cool and they'd have all their friends come look.

                • 3 votes
                #7.1 - Thu May 8, 2008 4:59 PM EDT
                greer

                how can it be environmentally friendly when it smells strongly of ammonia?

                If the liquid goes down the drain and into a municipal wastewater treatment plant, the ammonia would be treated before it is discharged (in most cases). Mind you this does require energy.

                • 1 vote
                #7.2 - Thu May 8, 2008 5:47 PM EDT
                Reply
                Glinda

                I don't see anybody's grieving relatives ticking off the "dissolve him in acid" box - not ever.

                Compared with scattering someone's ashes or putting flowers on a grave, pouring their ammonia-smelling fluids down the drain just really lacks that sombre quality of ritual we want in our last goodbyes.

                • 12 votes
                Reply#8 - Thu May 8, 2008 4:35 PM EDT
                justyn

                Personally I would like my lifeless body shot out of a cannon into the Pacific Ocean, but maybe that's not sombre enough.

                • 6 votes
                #8.1 - Thu May 8, 2008 4:54 PM EDT
                Ryan Stolte-Sawa

                Lye's not an acit, it's a base. I can easily see myself checking off "dissolve him in base" box. Especially if he liked baseball.

                • 6 votes
                #8.2 - Thu May 8, 2008 5:00 PM EDT
                Pietro Sommavilla

                "Personally I would like my lifeless body shot out of a cannon into the Pacific Ocean, but maybe that's not sombre enough. "

                Why all the noise?
                If they pull the chain of the water closet the result would be exactly the same.

                (Naturally, I prefer the latter option because I want to pass unnoticed)
                :-)))

                • 4 votes
                #8.3 - Thu May 8, 2008 9:43 PM EDT
                biggerthebetter

                Well, Glinda if you have a particularly nasty relative, a drain sounds kind of, well, too nice. A toilet might do.

                Let the bashings begin!

                • 2 votes
                #8.4 - Thu May 8, 2008 10:04 PM EDT
                JustinPM

                Justyn, I know the feeling. I kept telling people that I was going to get shot out of a cannon into a brick wall on pay per view. The proceeds of the pay per view would of course go to my family. I just want everyone to have a good laugh when I die. Not because I did something stupid, I hope I don't go out that way, but because I hate thinking of people mourning my death.

                • 2 votes
                #8.5 - Thu May 8, 2008 10:36 PM EDT
                Glinda

                You people are idiots :-) I mean that in the good way.

                I love the cannon idea, especially if there were cool fireworks also going off at the same event... and before that I want one of those New Orleans jazz funeral processions.

                • 2 votes
                #8.6 - Fri May 9, 2008 4:46 PM EDT
                jpark

                The cannon idea seemed attractive at first, but I would hate the possibility I might take out a dolphin or otter.

                • 3 votes
                #8.7 - Fri May 9, 2008 4:47 PM EDT
                Reply
                Division by Zero

                My only concern would be that exhumation and examination of bodies years later has solved many crimes. If there is no body to examine then no further evidence can be gathered after the initial forensic examination.

                • 1 vote
                Reply#9 - Thu May 8, 2008 4:36 PM EDT
                dungbeetlemania

                This is true of cremation already though.

                • 4 votes
                #9.1 - Thu May 8, 2008 5:08 PM EDT
                Division by Zero

                True. I think I'd rather my remains be cremated than dissolved. It may be my only chance to go out in a blaze of glory.

                • 2 votes
                #9.2 - Fri May 9, 2008 6:25 PM EDT
                Glinda

                Flame ON!

                • 1 vote
                #9.3 - Fri May 9, 2008 7:45 PM EDT
                Reply
                nearing

                Why wouldn't we do it the way nature has intended?

                Worm food! Giving back to the cycle of life what we have used.

                That's the way I want to go. Let me rot!

                • 7 votes
                Reply#10 - Thu May 8, 2008 4:42 PM EDT
                JustinPM

                Because decomposing bodies also give off harmful gases or liquids. Dead bodies near a potable water source make the water bad. Most of the caskets that are sold nowadays are sealed. Don't know if they stay that way.

                • 2 votes
                #10.1 - Thu May 8, 2008 10:38 PM EDT
                MinnieApolis

                @ Justin --

                Most of the caskets that are sold nowadays are sealed. Don't know if they stay that way.

                NO. They do not remain sealed. The caskets rot and collapse within a couple months of burial, even the fancy versions. The metal veneers are very thin, over a wood base, and the wood rots. Check out a copy of The American Way of Death, or the sequel TAWOD, Revisited, by Jessica Mitford for the (often hilarious) truth behind the American funeral industry.

                • 1 vote
                #10.2 - Sat May 10, 2008 10:34 PM EDT
                JustinPM

                Good to know.

                  #10.3 - Sun May 11, 2008 2:03 PM EDT
                  Reply
                  justyn

                  This happened in "The Wire," but they'll still always find the bodies.

                    Reply#11 - Thu May 8, 2008 4:46 PM EDT
                    greenpagan


                    Life's a piece of @!$%#
                    When you look at it
                    Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
                    You'll see it's all a show
                    Keep 'em laughing as you go
                    Just remember that the last laugh is on you.

                    Always Look on the Bright Side of Life

                    ====

                    • 7 votes
                    Reply#12 - Thu May 8, 2008 5:16 PM EDT
                    William Hubbell

                    this is not a new idea. I saw it in a sci-fi film twenty years ago where a mad scientist was making clones which committed crimes. If the police got to close to catching one of them they jumped alive into the lye.
                    Finally at the end of the film the scientist himself jumped into the lye and an officer reached in to pull him out and lost a hand. Vincent Price played the scientist.

                    • 3 votes
                    Reply#13 - Thu May 8, 2008 5:50 PM EDT
                    greenpagan

                    William Hubbell


                    Vincent Price played the scientist.

                    The one and only.

                    ====

                    • 3 votes
                    #13.1 - Thu May 8, 2008 7:27 PM EDT
                    Kokayi

                    I remember that movie. It scared the spit out of me. I would like being converted into a liquid, flushed down the drain, and becoming a part of the water cycle.

                    • 2 votes
                    #13.2 - Thu May 8, 2008 7:31 PM EDT
                    Reply
                    miasma

                    Whoah, is it me or does everyone want the "Top News" front page stories burnt?

                      Reply#14 - Thu May 8, 2008 7:58 PM EDT
                      sirmonkey

                      The Green Death?

                        Reply#15 - Thu May 8, 2008 8:22 PM EDT
                        Defektiv

                        theres a possibility i'll regret typing this, but i doubt it. i don't care what they do with my body.. i'll be dead. i've spent a lifetime trying to convince my family and friends to have a happy celebration for me when i die. i'm pretty sure i'll be in a better place. and if not, i'd rather them having fun anyway.

                        • 3 votes
                        Reply#16 - Thu May 8, 2008 8:54 PM EDT
                        dungbeetlemania

                        I agree, although I would prefer it if I don't cause problems with my disposal. Being hung out for vultures could be quite cool.

                        • 1 vote
                        #16.1 - Fri May 9, 2008 2:46 AM EDT
                        Reply
                        Igor The Troll

                        Come from the ground go to the ground!

                        Ashes to Ashes, dust to dust!

                        But will make nice Lava Lamps. LOL

                        • 3 votes
                        Reply#17 - Thu May 8, 2008 9:31 PM EDT
                        sirmonkey

                        Those of us who came from beer and the back seat of a Chevy, might now be able to complete the cycle!

                          #17.1 - Fri May 9, 2008 8:20 AM EDT
                          Igor The Troll

                          There is always Purgatory or this machine! Same Same but Different!

                            #17.2 - Fri May 9, 2008 8:43 AM EDT
                            Reply
                            Lennie

                            Being that I am going into funeral school next year this is a VERY interesting article.

                              Reply#18 - Thu May 8, 2008 10:04 PM EDT
                              JustinPM

                              I know this is going to sound weird, but can you tell me how it is? I was interested in becoming a mortician or something in that field but ended up getting into IT because I know a lot more about computers than the dead.

                                #18.1 - Thu May 8, 2008 10:40 PM EDT
                                Reply
                                Igor The Troll

                                How about scented human remains perfume?

                                If you cannot touch them, cannot see them, cannot hear them, at least you will be able to smell them!

                                • 1 vote
                                Reply#19 - Thu May 8, 2008 10:08 PM EDT
                                JustinPM

                                Not a terrible idea, but some people do smell terrible.

                                • 1 vote
                                #19.1 - Thu May 8, 2008 10:40 PM EDT
                                Igor The Troll

                                Well it can work both ways. To one a smell would recollect the Love and how much they miss emotions.

                                To another it will recollect the Hate and how much they despise emotions!

                                So works both ways! I bet you Bush remains perfume would be a Big Hit! lol

                                  #19.2 - Thu May 8, 2008 10:58 PM EDT
                                  Reply
                                  JustinPM

                                  I just thought of something really really morbid.

                                  "Plop plop, fizz fizz, oh what a relief it is! Oh what a relief it is! What a relief!"

                                  I feel bad now.

                                  • 2 votes
                                  Reply#20 - Thu May 8, 2008 10:49 PM EDT
                                  Kalambrocha

                                  This is just plain nasty. Besides, it smacks of Dr. Evil.

                                  • 1 vote
                                  Reply#21 - Thu May 8, 2008 11:27 PM EDT
                                  DeFex

                                  what a waste of good biomass. cant you make various minerals and maybe even fuel?

                                  • 1 vote
                                  Reply#22 - Thu May 8, 2008 11:28 PM EDT
                                  Igor The Troll

                                  This Car Runs on Human Remains!

                                  A definite sell especially in California!

                                  Environmentalist would love it!

                                  I can see Arnold Schwarzenegger being a Green Governor! When he Terminates some one at the State Penitentiary we will see California's green meter go up a nudge!

                                  Terminate one serial rapist or murder and Save one tree or a fossil.

                                  No more dependency on foreign oil and the Middle East!

                                  Wow Arnold needs to get this machine for California!

                                  He will even be chosen as the President of United States of America for his Human Rights and Environmentalist stand!

                                  I see a Nobel Prize for Arnold and the creator of the Machine!

                                    #22.1 - Fri May 9, 2008 12:04 AM EDT
                                    Reply
                                    Partisan Hack

                                    So, what would the funeral ceremony be...a flushing?

                                    Naw, can't go there...

                                    • 2 votes
                                    Reply#23 - Fri May 9, 2008 11:28 AM EDT
                                    SGT Pitman

                                    OK remember they said that the bones and some other material winds up being sort of like a cremated body, that is what you could have to scatter, bury, set on the mantle, whatever. Now comes that awful question, but it is what it comes down to sometimes, what could they manufacture out of the body's? Fuel, oil, I do not know enough but I think I will look at this, instead of spending money on disposing of your dead, you could make a profit from it. I know it sounds a little grim, but seriously folks, ever think of what oil is, dead animals and plants anyways.
                                    I know someone is going to slam me for saying that, but once there is a commercially use for this stuff, it will make it at least a little more palatable for some. If your the type of person who likes to give, well it would be a way to keep giving into the after life.
                                    Personally I feel that my body has nothing to do with what happens to me after I am dead, although there are some beliefs that the body is sacred even after death, that is fine with me for them to hold those beliefs, but let us all have as many options.

                                    • 2 votes
                                    Reply#24 - Fri May 9, 2008 12:34 PM EDT
                                    Kalambrocha

                                    Given how tainted the water supply we drink is these days, this has great potential for more protein in our diet.

                                    • 2 votes
                                    Reply#25 - Fri May 9, 2008 11:55 PM EDT
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