New idea in mortuary science: Dissolving bodies with lye

The coffee-colored liquid has the consistency of motor oil

Heeey!

The coffee-colored liquid has the consistency of motor oil

Heeey!

Valvoline is people! People!!

Valvoline is people! People!!

I do believe you've just won this thread.

Well done, stick it on your CV.

-Dave

pollution how?

Well, an oversaturation of lye, for starters.

Then you send it to a tank that gets cleaned out like a septic take and then the remains are disposed of properly.

Isn't there also the added difficulty of dumping body waste like pharmaceuticals and consumed chemicals back into the water supply? This is a problem that's changing America's freshwater ecosystems because sanitation plants don't (can't?) filter for these "trace" substances.

On first blush it seems like a great solution for the environment. On second thoughts I worry that it would be open to widespread abuse if is rolled out nationally/internationally.

Please share your concerns. I have not thought it out that far. I think many social taboos would make this type of transition difficult to garner a large market.

Please share your concerns.

My concerns may well be unfounded. But I see the device being used for the wrong purpose such as killing & eliminating people without trace. Okay well you might say this can be done now. I would argue that this machine would make it easier & simpler therefore facillitating the process

Easy way to commit genocide! No evidence found!

Thanks Barrys & Igor. That concept completely slipped my mind. Perhaps we need to monitor the spread of the technology. However on the other hand it could be safer way to process massive corpses after a major tragedy like earthquakes or hurricanes. Using land for mass burials has all those houses built on Indian burial ground horror movie connotations. Who keeps up with those burial sites? It is really weird when you run across an unmarked cemetery.

Yeap! Also it will prevent "The Return of the Living Dead!"

You never know in the future! One can die but not really dead!

If widely adopted, the process would add significant pollution to the water supply

Not that I find this idea particularly appealing (or new, since mass murderers and the mafia thought of it long ago), but just to note...neutralization of a lye solution with HCl would result in ordinary table salt.

Point taken, Infohack, but the liquid waste is not just lye, it's also whatever a body becomes when you put it in lye. Also, you can't pump all that salt into the water supply, and good luck selling it as table salt!

Just pointing out that the remains of the process are organic compounds and salt and not particularly toxic.

Personally I'd opt for the Viking funeral pyre...probably not the most environmentally responsible choice ;)

Maybe we can make Lunch Boxes from it?

Salted deluded meat condiment! Just mix it with some mashed potatoes and veggies and you are set to go!

Great for kid school lunches!

Hey Kid, eat your dead grandfather today! (sic)

This Machine is Dangerous!

IMHO this is completely disgusting. And consider THIS:

If this practice were adopted on a large-scale basis, soon the protesters would emerge claiming pollution to the water supply, and I don't blame them. But it could get worse. Think about all those places where you can take your used oil for recycling.

Except this time you are dragging a bottle of brown goo into your local facility and having it dumped in with all the other lye-based goo - to be picked up later in a big truck for recycling.

Next thing you know they'll want to refine it and make plastics out of it or something...

Ack!

The more one talks about this Monster and the applications of the byproduct, the less this technology is palpable and even desired!

This is getting to be on the same level as cloning humans!

This is morally, legally, and politically offensive!

Igor

Thanks for bringing this into perspective.

The idea to flush human remains through the toilet sink is utterly disgusting!

And the idea to investigate an industrialized method of "make disappear without trace", I can't help it, sounds like "Auschwitz 2.0" to me.

Sounds like a free reign for "Holohoax".

Are people so gullible they cannot see the crimes to humanity this contraption is capable of?

Kill 6 million people and hide all evidence!

It's brilliant, really, the globalists could reduce the population to sustainable levels, while at the same time meeting the world's post-oil energy demands. The average human has something like 15-25% body fat.

It gives a whole new meaning to the term "biodiesel."

Ooh folks why don't you add this one too:

"Don't forget to cut off hair first and make U-boat insulations with them."

"The fluid could easily be transformed into industrial soap"

Look, I'm not a friend of bold letters, but I'll have to:

Your jokes are an exact counterpart to the Holocaust jokes of once.

I wish you to stop NOW!

Ooh dear, now I see down there that you are happily participating in this, Igor.

You know, Igor, your parents or grandparents might have burst out in tears upon reading something like this.

But clearly it seems time goes by.

So everygody, don't take the above too serious, continue with biofuel, lamb-lights and bodylotions at your wish.

Sincerely, wow

Sorry Martin, no offense intended.

I guess I didn't make that connection, I was thinking more along the lines of Soylent Green.

The blame is on me.

I felt warped into a discussion board of Neo-NAZIs when reading this.

In Europe these kinds of jokes are an absolute taboo - 100% absolute taboo - you don't do it.

NAZI territory!

Therefore my harsh reaction.

I forgot that this is a US dominated board where this might be sort-off jolly joking without afterthoughts.

I'm very sorry, too Martin. I certainly meant no comparison with Nazis in my comment below, but I can see how the connection might be made. Just so you know, it is also considered in very, very poor taste in America, to make jokes about Nazis torturing and killing 6 million people. Not acceptable, and again, I apologize if my comment was a part of what hurt you.

Martin Westenfelder, who is joking and why do I need to joke?

I am trying to use as much sarcasm as possible to show how evil this machine can become.

FYI My father was in Auschwitz, he lost 7 of his siblings and his mother to Nazi execution there.

So I think earned the right to compare how this machine can be used for a genocide and a holocaust and then the event would be denied.

This is not a funny matter!

yeah, i think this technology was developed at guantanamo....

'"It's not often that a truly game-changing technology comes along in the funeral service," the newsletter Funeral Service Insider said in September. But "we might have gotten a hold of one."

He talks about it as if they just thought up the West Coast Offense for funeral parlors.

I guess the 'scoops' are few and far between when you write for the Funeral Service Insider.... can you imagine?

I'd imagine the articles are much more along the lines of "You'll never guess what Fred is doing!"

What about disposal in water (e.g. India)

The dead aren't "disposed" in water in India. They are burned. It is only the remnants (eg teeth and some bones and ash) that are disposed off in water.

Since they first walked the planet, humans have either buried or burned their dead.

That line probably refers to the more widespread "methods" in use. A few you mention are related only to a small set of cultures/people.

I think green burials--where an unadorned, unembalmed body is buried in a shroud of natural fabric--are still the best alternative to conventional cadaver disposal methods. That's what I want when I die.

You read it here first, bereaved loved ones of the future.

Right. If you want to go to the afterlife in an environment friendly way, that would be the best option.

Most places have legal requirements which prevent such natural disposal.

The dead are burned in India if they can afford the 400+ kilos of wood it takes to cremate a body, and pay for services. Otherwise you get wrapped in a blanket, tied to a rock and dumped off a boat.

I realize burial and burning are the predominant methods of disposal, but the line does say "either or" implying other options are not used at all.

Dibs on a viking funeral.
Float my boat out to sea, then torch it.
....Make sure I'm dead first. Seriously.

-Dave

This article caught my attention for several reasons....I went to HS in Manchester and then Concord NH.....my brother, an excellent family counselor for a local funeral business, attended UF.....and...of course, there's always that inevitable thingy that we all sorta avoid considering as part of our consciousness....hint: it ain't taxes...

but....as for all things green...that's been on my radar, too...the green disposition of remains...I talked w/ Li'l brother about that, and he's getting his act together to do his own thing, which will also feature the availability of green arangement....then I read this comment:

Most places have legal requirements which prevent such natural disposal.

and I thought, yeah....probably right...most funeral businesses are now corporations....and they can afford to buy legislation via lobby. more entrepreneurship society crapola...

The dead are burned in India if they can afford the 400+ kilos of wood it takes to cremate a body, and pay for services. Otherwise you get wrapped in a blanket, tied to a rock and dumped off a boat.

I don't know where you got this info from. But I can tell you that it is incorrect.

I realize burial and burning are the predominant methods of disposal, but the line does say "either or" implying other options are not used at all.

All of us know that isn't the case. Let's not get into a study of grammatical or syntactical errors.

I got this info on a trip to India where I was able to observe bodies in the river firsthand.

As for grammatical or syntactical errors, that's true. My intention (though poorly executed) was to point out that while some people seem to feel this lye-liquification method is grisly, or disrespectful, it is no more so than other techniques practiced elsewhere in the world.

I got this info on a trip to India where I was able to observe bodies in the river firsthand.

Then I think you came across some isolated case or some tribe that uses this method. I wouldn't have believed this, but do so because you claim firsthand knowledge. There are vast cultural differences in India and what you say could be quite possible for a particular region or tribe. But again, it is not very prevalent. I can say so because I live in India.

This discussion has been great Slack, but I suggest we end it here. Because, IMO, we are going off the point (scope) of this article.

I was hoping that my loved ones would make little bars of soap out of me and then have them available in a little basket at my funeral, so that mourners could all take one home. However, that idea was not well-received among my loved ones...

Well, that would be rendering your fat and mixing it with lye.

Don't know what they would do with the glycerin ...

and the soap would coffee coloured apparently

and the soap would coffee coloured apparently

Not if you just used the fat. Then it would look just like ivory soap (if you stir it well).

@ jpark - His name is Robert Paulson!

Wouldn't it be wild if they found out this stuff worked like motor oil? Then you wouldn't need an urn or anything for your loved ones remains, just buy that new car and change relatives every 3000 miles or so.

Sorry, that's real sick, but it's Friday and I'm punchy.

Then I think you came across some isolated case or some tribe that uses this method.

The very first episode of Dirty Jobs I ever saw showcased a guy whose job it was to haul dead bodies out of the Ganges. It was a full time job for several people. So, what is the basis of your insistence that it does not happen?

$300,000 is a bit much for a serial killer.

Good point.

not that guy from no country for old men

that guy from no country for old men

Yeah, he didn't seem to concerned with bodies...

was hoping that my loved ones would make little bars of soap out of me and then have them available in a little basket at my funeral, so that mourners could all take one home. However, that idea was not well-received among my loved ones

Many years ago a freind of mine suggested this as a way of getting rid of a debt collector. Offer them your body which would boil up to about six or seven bars of soap.
Not sure how true it is but it sounds whacky!

I'm not quite sure where you're going with this... but is Ted Turner a major investor? ;)

I have to agree. I'm glad someone else noticed that statement.

I was recently informed that mercury vapor is very poisonous.

If the process becomes available in my area I would consider it. I want folks to party and have a good time at my memorial. I don't have any after death attachment sentiments to what would have formerly been my body. The funeral is for them.

I'm with stolte-sawa on this one. Actually, I want a tree planted on my body so I can become part of it :)

That's kind of nice, but I feel sorry for the future kid who crawls inside the hollow trunk of that tree and finds your bones. Or maybe it would be really cool and they'd have all their friends come look.

how can it be environmentally friendly when it smells strongly of ammonia?

If the liquid goes down the drain and into a municipal wastewater treatment plant, the ammonia would be treated before it is discharged (in most cases). Mind you this does require energy.

Personally I would like my lifeless body shot out of a cannon into the Pacific Ocean, but maybe that's not sombre enough.

Lye's not an acit, it's a base. I can easily see myself checking off "dissolve him in base" box. Especially if he liked baseball.

"Personally I would like my lifeless body shot out of a cannon into the Pacific Ocean, but maybe that's not sombre enough. "

Why all the noise? If they pull the chain of the water closet the result would be exactly the same.

(Naturally, I prefer the latter option because I want to pass unnoticed)
:-)))

Well, Glinda if you have a particularly nasty relative, a drain sounds kind of, well, too nice. A toilet might do.

Let the bashings begin!

Justyn, I know the feeling. I kept telling people that I was going to get shot out of a cannon into a brick wall on pay per view. The proceeds of the pay per view would of course go to my family. I just want everyone to have a good laugh when I die. Not because I did something stupid, I hope I don't go out that way, but because I hate thinking of people mourning my death.

You people are idiots :-) I mean that in the good way.

I love the cannon idea, especially if there were cool fireworks also going off at the same event... and before that I want one of those New Orleans jazz funeral processions.

The cannon idea seemed attractive at first, but I would hate the possibility I might take out a dolphin or otter.

This is true of cremation already though.

True. I think I'd rather my remains be cremated than dissolved. It may be my only chance to go out in a blaze of glory.

Flame ON!

Because decomposing bodies also give off harmful gases or liquids. Dead bodies near a potable water source make the water bad. Most of the caskets that are sold nowadays are sealed. Don't know if they stay that way.

@ Justin --

Most of the caskets that are sold nowadays are sealed. Don't know if they stay that way.

NO. They do not remain sealed. The caskets rot and collapse within a couple months of burial, even the fancy versions. The metal veneers are very thin, over a wood base, and the wood rots. Check out a copy of The American Way of Death, or the sequel TAWOD, Revisited, by Jessica Mitford for the (often hilarious) truth behind the American funeral industry.

Good to know.

William Hubbell

The one and only.

====

I remember that movie. It scared the spit out of me. I would like being converted into a liquid, flushed down the drain, and becoming a part of the water cycle.

I agree, although I would prefer it if I don't cause problems with my disposal. Being hung out for vultures could be quite cool.

Those of us who came from beer and the back seat of a Chevy, might now be able to complete the cycle!

There is always Purgatory or this machine! Same Same but Different!

I know this is going to sound weird, but can you tell me how it is? I was interested in becoming a mortician or something in that field but ended up getting into IT because I know a lot more about computers than the dead.

Not a terrible idea, but some people do smell terrible.

Well it can work both ways. To one a smell would recollect the Love and how much they miss emotions.

To another it will recollect the Hate and how much they despise emotions!

So works both ways! I bet you Bush remains perfume would be a Big Hit! lol

This Car Runs on Human Remains!

A definite sell especially in California!

Environmentalist would love it!

I can see Arnold Schwarzenegger being a Green Governor! When he Terminates some one at the State Penitentiary we will see California's green meter go up a nudge!

Terminate one serial rapist or murder and Save one tree or a fossil.

No more dependency on foreign oil and the Middle East!

Wow Arnold needs to get this machine for California!

He will even be chosen as the President of United States of America for his Human Rights and Environmentalist stand!

I see a Nobel Prize for Arnold and the creator of the Machine!