God accused of selling cocaine near Tampa church

Mon Jun 23, 2008 2:46 PM EDT

us-news, odd-news, in, florida, god, arrest, only, god-lucky-howard

This undated photo provided Monday, June 23, 2008 by the Hillsborough County, Fla. Sheriff's Office shows God Lucky Howard. Police say God was arrested near a Tampa church Saturday for selling cocaine. (AP Photo/ Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office)

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TAMPA — Police say a man named God was arrested near a Tampa church for selling cocaine. Authorities began investigating God Lucky Howard in April, and he was arrested on Saturday. Police say he sold the cocaine to undercover detectives in his neighborhood. When officers searched his home, they reported finding another 22 grams of cocaine and a scale.

Jail records show Howard was charged with several counts drug possession and distribution, which include increased charges for being within 1,000 feet of a church, a school and public housing.

He was being held on a bond of $86,500.

___

Information from: WFTS-TV, http://www.wfts.com/

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Published to:

Associated Press's Column, All of Newsvine
Groups: Silly and Stupid
Regions: United States , Tampa/Saint Petersburg

Public Discussion (86)

Jump to discussion page: 1 2

kingmarty

Just the headline made me laugh.

Thanks for this.

4 votes

#1 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 4:57 PM EDT

Macks

Best Headline Ever... But really though this goes to show that the war on drugs is going too far. Even God is being hindered.

1 vote

#1.1 - Tue Jun 24, 2008 2:16 PM EDT

Jeff, TX

God...Lucky...Howard?

I can't stop laughing.

7 votes

#2 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 5:04 PM EDT

Walt D

I think we're all missing the larger ramifications of this story...it is irrefutable proof that God exists.

25 votes

#3 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 5:12 PM EDT

kingmarty

Who would have thought he was slinging rock in Florida?

18 votes

#3.1 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 5:14 PM EDT

Tedd Riggs

God really does work in mysterious ways.

23 votes

#3.2 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 5:23 PM EDT

Jack Huang

Who would have thought he was slinging rock in Florida?

Gives a whole new meaning to that "stone disobedient children" rule.

21 votes

#3.3 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 6:32 PM EDT

Robert Blevins - AB of Seattle

God certainly looks bigger than I imagined. And what the heck is going on? I always thought he preferred wearing white to orange.

I probably should not have looked upon his face, though. When I came downstairs from my office, our bookkeeper said my hair had turned white.

8 votes

#3.4 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:58 PM EDT

Pamela Drew

Who wants to bet George Carlin is kicking off his performance on the other side, with this story?

16 votes

#3.5 - Tue Jun 24, 2008 2:49 AM EDT

spiffie

Gives a whole new meaning to that "stone disobedient children" rule.

Either that, or now we know that Ted Haggard really was doing God's work.

5 votes

#3.6 - Tue Jun 24, 2008 7:04 AM EDT

kingmarty

Apparently the burning bush is no longer an effective means of getting his point across.

5 votes

#3.7 - Tue Jun 24, 2008 9:07 AM EDT

babin

har - and by burning bush does God really mean smoking the reefer?

Why couldn't this have been Crack. We all know Crack is funnier than coke. I'd love to see that headline. God slings crack outside of Church.

Times are hard people, even God is down on his luck.

I want to know who turned God in? WHO's The JUDAS in this one??

That's one guy I don't want to rat out.

God probably knew he would be betrayed: In 7 days you will turn me in for selling crack. I still love you brother...

Man this could go on forever...

5 votes

#3.8 - Tue Jun 24, 2008 10:26 AM EDT

Marco RojasDeleted

ReggieK

I've seen the evangelists on tv sayin that god really needs your money.....I didn't know he was in such bad straits that he needed to start sellin rock! Wonder how good the product was.....they should have interviewed some of the customers to see if god's product is as good as his word??? I'd hate to see god out there sellin bad product....I wonder if you get hit by a lightning bolt if you invade his turf....and what happens if you try to rip him off.....Too bad Carlin passed away...he could have had a lot of fun with this....

7 votes

#4 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 6:08 PM EDT

Pietro Sommavilla

Police say a man named God was arrested near a Tampa church for selling cocaine.

He's into everything these days.

6 votes

#5 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 6:19 PM EDT

Celestina

Diversification is important, and the bottom fell out of the plague market.

14 votes

#5.1 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 7:37 PM EDT

Renesis

I can see that the name is funny but I think this is an irresponsible and irrelevant story for the AP to print and to appear as the top story anywhere but "Odd News".

Then again, maybe I'm just grumpy today.

7 votes

#6 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 7:41 PM EDT

insert_name_here

You're completely correct. This doesn't belong anywhere other than Odd News, at least until it becomes "Man named God accused..."

2 votes

#6.1 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:25 PM EDT

wisconsin68

I work for a church and think it was the "God Lucky Howard" damn funniest thing I've read all day.

1 vote

#6.2 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:44 PM EDT

babin

Don't be a sour puss.

1 vote

#6.3 - Tue Jun 24, 2008 10:30 AM EDT

caroaber

I agree. This is one for the police blotter. So what, he's got a funny name?

#6.4 - Tue Jun 24, 2008 12:47 PM EDT

JustinPM

What if God was one of us?
Just a slob like one of us?
Just a stranger by a church
Trying to sell some blow.

17 votes

#7 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:30 PM EDT

ddog

How could anyone be so stupid as to name their child 'God'? They must have been on drugs.......some strange things have been happening in Florida lately - let the GOP have it - Gods on their side after all.

2 votes

#8 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:38 PM EDT

SuperUnspecial

Plenty of people named Jesus

2 votes

#8.1 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:18 PM EDT

JustinPM

Well, Jesus was a dude. Regardless of whether you think he is the son of God. God is a supposedly supreme being. So generally you don't name some one God, lest you think he might be. Selling coke outside a church, probably not God.

It comes into question though. The big G usually means the one and only, so can you no longer refer to God that way? Do you have to call him The God?

2 votes

#8.2 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:44 PM EDT

Mike B.-345158

The word God is a title. However, the one true God has a name.

1 vote

#8.3 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 11:07 PM EDT

Jack Huang

God is a supposedly supreme being. So generally you don't name some one God, lest you think he might be.

Meh, it's only marginally more special than naming your kid after an Apostle. Then again, his middle name is Lucky, so he clearly crosses the Maximum Name Karma Threshold.

4 votes

#8.4 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 11:19 PM EDT

Wukong

This is also proof that Adam and Eve were black since God made man of his image from dirt that was probably not pale if it were rich enough for the Hood of Eden. It also makes sense that "Jesus is a black man" since he was fathered by one.

1 vote

#8.5 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 11:40 PM EDT

Pietro Sommavilla

The word God is a title. However, the one true God has a name.

Zeus

1 vote

#8.6 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 11:51 PM EDT

Skyi_2

I dont think he is as lucky as he thought he was....

1 vote

#9 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:43 PM EDT

Arghawon

A whole new twist to "Religion is the Opiate of the Masses".....

12 votes

#10 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:54 PM EDT

Dreadspydr

Damn, this @!$%# is wack... How can they arrest god!

1 vote

#11 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 8:57 PM EDT

TheJonesGirl

Imagine being named God.

I'm just imagining my boss, in a meeting..."well, God said...."

4 votes

#12 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:11 PM EDT

JustinPM

That would be pretty sweet.

1 vote

#12.1 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:18 PM EDT

TheJonesGirl

I'm off to sell this newsvine page on ebay. Forget Jesus on toast, I have God's own image!

1 vote

#12.2 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:27 PM EDT

babin

I wonder what this guys girlfriend says about his bedroom antics.

"Gurl, peep this...I was in bed the other night and God..."

And yes the accent is ok, he was selling crack.

#12.3 - Tue Jun 24, 2008 10:33 AM EDT

Rixar13

Where did you think all the Evangelists donations went? Must test the product to ensure it's good rock....?

2 votes

#13 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:12 PM EDT

Griff69

I gotta meet his parents...

7 votes

#14 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 9:52 PM EDT

Ian Sager

Second that one!

5 votes

#14.1 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 11:11 PM EDT

Jack Huang

That reminds of the Jim Gaffigan quip about what the Pope's parents would say at a cocktail party:

"What does your kid do?"
"He's a doctor. What does your kid do?"
"He's Pope."

I think this trumps that by quite a large margin:

"What does your kid do?"
"He's Pope. What does your kid do?"
"He's God."
"... what he do?"
"He sells crack."
"..."

4 votes

#14.2 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 11:23 PM EDT

bluesbasscat

Talk about laying some heavy expectations on a guy. . . . . .

#14.3 - Tue Jun 24, 2008 8:43 AM EDT

newsblog903

Maybe he'll make it to the Oprah show instead of doing jail time. About time he explains himself.....

1 vote

#15 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 10:28 PM EDT

AmazingSDJ

Does this mean that OMG is now OMCD?

(Oh My Coke Dealer)

3 votes

#16 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 11:11 PM EDT

oneburn

God is black? Sweet!

2 votes

#17 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 11:43 PM EDT

ReggieK

Yep...looks like god is a homey.....I wonder if he likes rap more than gospel?? I hope he doesn't start his own gang? Like the crips or such....well I guess he already has one...called the catholic church....

2 votes

#17.1 - Tue Jun 24, 2008 12:31 AM EDT

TheJonesGirl

FREE GOD!

10 votes

#18 - Mon Jun 23, 2008 11:55 PM EDT

Tedd Riggs

FREE GOD!

crap...another MSNBC born again christian....opps...just jonesy...sorry !

7 votes

#18.1 - Tue Jun 24, 2008 12:06 AM EDT

RegBarc

Looks like God could stand to lose a few pounds.

6 votes

#19 - Tue Jun 24, 2008 12:07 AM EDT

newsblog903

God has been eating too much manna from heaven.

2 votes

#19.1 - Tue Jun 24, 2008 1:14 AM EDT

newsblog903

God's true name??? God spelled backwards is Dog whatever that is supposed to mean....

1 vote

#20 - Tue Jun 24, 2008 12:09 AM EDT

lauhal

God is gonna need a lawyer.

3 votes

#21 - Tue Jun 24, 2008 12:54 AM EDT

ReggieK

I wonder where he will find one...word is that all the lawyers went to hell???

6 votes

#21.1 - Tue Jun 24, 2008 1:00 AM EDT

Tedd Riggs

Whoa....This happened in Tampa ! The ~~Cult~~ Scientologists are located not far away in Clearwater, could this be the first appearance of their secret God from Xenu ?