— Happy birthday: Dave set up a 70th birthday surprise for Karen McCluskey, all with one goal in mind. Before the bash, he broke into her home and moved things around, "Gaslight"-style, knowing she'd realize it was him. It worked. Karen burst into her own party babbling and raving and ended up smashing the cake with a bat.
While her accusations are right on the mark, she succeeded only in sounding like a crazy old lady who's starting to lose it — exactly as Dave had planned. As she was taken away in an ambulance, Dave confessed that it was him, but even if a groggy Karen remembers what he said, no one will believe her.
Flashback time: This week, viewers were given glimpses at some of what happened to the Wisteria Lane residents during the five years the show skipped over. Most of the revelations weren't too surprising, but one "Housewife" turned out to have a big secret. When Orson headed off to spend his four years in prison and Danielle whisked toddler Benjy away, Bree felt she had lost everything. It was Katherine who snapped her out of her misery and away from the champagne bottle, and for that reason, Bree felt she couldn't just launch Orson into her Martha Stewart-esque company above Katherine. In the end, she confessed the whole story to Orson, who met with Katherine and agreed to earn his keep.
Oh, baby: Longtime viewers will remember that Carlos once was so desperate for children that he replaced Gaby's birth-control pills with placebos to try and get her pregnant. Obviously that creepily manipulative incident taught him nothing, because this time, we learned that Gaby ordered him to get a vasectomy after the birth of their second daughter, and he lied that he had done so. But when a pregnancy scare proved to be just that and Carlos offered to actually get snipped, it was Gaby who wasn't quite ready to give up on additional children. She told him they'd just use birth control for now in case they decided — together — to enlarge their family.
Still pining for Mike? Jackson has it all: He's handsome, likeable, and crazy about Susan. So of course, she can only push him away. When he wants to move in and make a commitment, it's memories of Mike that force Susan to say no. Her flashback showed us how she had second thoughts about divorcing Mike (duh) and how she'd tried to keep the relationship with Jackson purely sexual without getting emotionally involved.
Midlife crisis deepens: Lynette's flashback showed how Tom ended up bringing home his flashy red sports car. Turns out he almost died after an electrical accident at the pizzeria, and looking death in the face made Tom all the more determined to live life to the fullest. The car was one thing, but when he tells Lynette he wants to sell the restaurant and travel around the country living in an RV, his wife digs in her heels. "I need adventure," he tells her. Next week's preview hints that he might find that adventure in the person of another attractive blonde.
Quote of the week:
Bree, on Orson's prison days: "Your cellmate was a crooked CPA who helped you form a bridge club. It wasn't exactly Attica!"
Runner-up quote of the week:
Karen McCluskey, when Edie shows up in a low-cut gown: "Jeez, Edie, are we going for drinks, or mammograms?"