5Top: Favorite TV characters that no one ever played

Mon Jan 5, 2009 3:04 PM EST

entertainment, life, only-on-msnbc-com, naked, peeping-tom, diane, juanita, lars, off-screen, naked-gal, ugly-naked-guy

msnbc.com News — Ree Hines, msnbc.com - Only on msnbc.com

Ugly Naked Guy, “Friends”
Though his nickname tells you all you really need to know, “Friends” fans learned loads more about Ugly Naked Guy over the years. Peeping Tom commentary from Monica, Rachel and the gang fleshed out the show’s longest running joke. His love life (Ugly Naked Gal), his musical instrument of choice (the straddled cello), his near-death experience (well, a deep slumber interrupted by a sound chopstick poking) and his ironic quirk (loads of boxes labeled “clothes”) added up to a well-rounded off-screen Guy. By the time Ugly Naked Guy moved out (and sublet his apartment to a temporarily naked Ross), he was as familiar as any on-screen side character on the show.

Maris Crane, “Frasier”
The shrew behind the man is the stuff of sitcom gold (just look at Norm’s wife, Vera, from “Cheers,” who was seen and heard a little too much to make the list), but Maris, Niles first wife on “Frasier,” took the bad spouse act outside of the realm of possibility. She wasn’t simply cold; characters who had the misfortune of knowing her described her chilling reptilian terms. Maris couldn’t even cozy up to cuddly animals (as Niles said, “She distrusts anything that loves her unconditionally.”). Her hilarity came from her extremes. At her smallest she was mistaken for a hat rack; at her largest, she couldn’t fit through a doorway. There was no in-between with Maris.

Lars Lindstrom, “Mary Tyler Moore”
If “Mary Tyler Moore’s” unlovable Phyllis Lindstrom had any excuse for being a judgmental snoot, it was her unseen and overly indulgent husband, Lars. He could do no wrong as far as Phyllis was concerned, that is until he had an affair with “Happy Homemaker” Sue Ann Nivens, aka Phyllis’ most worthy nemesis. That was the best of Lars. Not his behind-the-scenes actions — the man was a heel, after all — but the hilarious and sometimes soufflé-ruining antics he inspired among the regulars.

Juanita “from the diner” Beasley, “The Andy Griffith Show”
On “The Andy Griffith Show,” Barney Fife bounced between two loves. There was his ever-tolerant, long-time girlfriend Thelma Lou, and then there was the other woman, Juanita Beasley. Whenever Thelma Lou wasn’t around, Barn picked up the phone and asked Sara the operator (another off-screen gem) to connect him with “Juanita from the diner.” Barney forgot all about Thelma-what’s-her-name as soon as he heard Juanita’s voice. Of course, viewers never knew what Juanita thought of the bumbling lawman’s wooing ways (“From your head down to your feet / There’s nothing half so sweet / As Juanita, Juanita, Juan-eet”).

Diane, “Twin Peaks”
Having never been seen or heard from, Diane qualifies as the closest thing “Twin Peaks” ever had to a normal character. The only clues to Diane’s true identity came from Agent Dale Cooper, who addressed her each time he delivered his findings into his tape recorder. The obvious guess is that Diane was his ever-reliable assistant or secretary. Then again, there’s the just a likely chance that Diane was just what Cooper liked to call his Dictaphone.

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Public Discussion (21)

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{"commentId":4677199,"authorDomain":"proliab"}

proliab

You missed a big one - Vera, the wife of Norm Peterson from "CHEERS".

{"commentId":4677199,"threadId":"461579","contentId":"2277252","authorDomain":"proliab"}

#1 - Mon Jan 5, 2009 8:27 PM EST

{"commentId":4678347,"authorDomain":"fran-1"}

Too bad, so sad!

What about "Carlton, your doorman" from Newhart? His voice was actually Lorenzo Music's--I think he was the show's producer.

And why is Stanley Walker on the list twice? He should definitly be there, though, he's sort of the anti-Maris.

{"commentId":4678347,"threadId":"461579","contentId":"2277252","authorDomain":"fran-1"}

#2 - Mon Jan 5, 2009 10:10 PM EST

{"commentId":4679654,"authorDomain":"brikov"}

Brian-798773

Carlton and Vera don't qualify (I guess) because the list is titled "Favorite TV characters no one ever played." Lorenzo Music "played" Carlton in some of the more memorable exchanges on Rhoda and some actress "played" Vera's legs and voice in at least one episode of Cheers that I vaguely remember. Maris, etc. was someone talked about (and to, always off-screen or on the phone) but never speaking (or being seen) by the audience at home.

That's why George Steinbrenner from Seinfeld is not on the list. Only his arms were seen and voice was heard but he was still played by Larry David.

{"commentId":4679654,"threadId":"461579","contentId":"2277252","authorDomain":"brikov"}

#3 - Tue Jan 6, 2009 12:38 AM EST

{"commentId":4680897,"authorDomain":"ohioblue"}

Charlotte-798975

How about Jenny Piccolo from 'Happy Days'? She was little sis Joanie's 'bad girl' girlfriend who knew far more than her years. "But Dad, Jenny Piccolo says . . . ."

{"commentId":4680897,"threadId":"461579","contentId":"2277252","authorDomain":"ohioblue"}

#4 - Tue Jan 6, 2009 6:34 AM EST

{"commentId":4681033,"authorDomain":"pto"}

PTO

Sorry but Jenny Piccolo was "played". I googled it because I wasnt sure. Heres what I found.

Jenny Piccalo (.Jenny Piccalo Jenny Piccalo (.

{"commentId":4681033,"threadId":"461579","contentId":"2277252","authorDomain":"pto"}

#4.1 - Tue Jan 6, 2009 7:15 AM EST

{"commentId":4681050,"authorDomain":"pto"}

PTO

I dont know why what I wrote didnt stick.I hope it doesnt disappear this time.

Jenny Piccalo (Cathy Silvers) Joanie's best friend (1980-1983). Mentioned often in early episodes, but never appeared in person until the 1980 season. Returned as a guest star in the series finale. Jenny's father appeared in one episode, played by Silvers' real-life father Phil Silvers.

{"commentId":4681050,"threadId":"461579","contentId":"2277252","authorDomain":"pto"}

#4.2 - Tue Jan 6, 2009 7:20 AM EST

{"commentId":4681503,"authorDomain":"blcslv"}

David -799035

Peg Hunnicut was played in MASH. Hawkeye had her make a movie of herself and Arron for their anniversary. She was also showed one time dancing with BJ in the night mirror episode.

{"commentId":4681503,"threadId":"461579","contentId":"2277252","authorDomain":"blcslv"}

#5 - Tue Jan 6, 2009 8:37 AM EST

{"commentId":4681530,"authorDomain":"mykeofoz"}

Mogues

What about Charlie from Charlie's Angels? How could you forget to mention an unseen character who's so important his name's actually in the shows title? Seriously...

{"commentId":4681530,"threadId":"461579","contentId":"2277252","authorDomain":"mykeofoz"}

#6 - Tue Jan 6, 2009 8:41 AM EST

{"commentId":4682975,"authorDomain":"entilzha"}

Entilzha

It's characters no one ever played. He was voiced by John Forsythe, so he was "played." He'd probably be up there if they did something about TV characters who were never seen.

{"commentId":4682975,"threadId":"461579","contentId":"2277252","authorDomain":"entilzha"}

#6.1 - Tue Jan 6, 2009 10:36 AM EST

{"commentId":4681837,"authorDomain":"stevierae5"}

stephanie-271702

Ugly Naked Guy WAS on "Friends" for one episode. They show him just before Ross turns into "Naked Ross" to bond with him so that he'll give Ross his apartment. He didn't have any lines, though...he just stood there sipping one of those ridiculously large fountain drinks from convenience stores.

Oh--and what about Tino from "My So-Called Life"?? Tino had the hookup for EVERYTHING, but he never showed up.

{"commentId":4681837,"threadId":"461579","contentId":"2277252","authorDomain":"stevierae5"}

#7 - Tue Jan 6, 2009 9:12 AM EST

{"commentId":4682522,"authorDomain":"lblanchard7247"}

oldtimer72

Also ignoring the spinoff ("Pete and Gladys") Harry Morgan's wife in "December Bride."

{"commentId":4682522,"threadId":"461579","contentId":"2277252","authorDomain":"lblanchard7247"}

#8 - Tue Jan 6, 2009 10:06 AM EST

{"commentId":4682803,"authorDomain":"corey-hardin"}

coco15

What about Mr. Kotter's uncle he was always telling stories about? I can't remember his name, but I think he ended most of the episodes with a little story or joke about his uncle. Can anyone confirm this?

{"commentId":4682803,"threadId":"461579","contentId":"2277252","authorDomain":"corey-hardin"}

#9 - Tue Jan 6, 2009 10:23 AM EST

{"commentId":4684555,"authorDomain":"lhuber86"}

friendsfan

I know what you are talking about, dont think he was ever on the show.

{"commentId":4684555,"threadId":"461579","contentId":"2277252","authorDomain":"lhuber86"}

#9.1 - Tue Jan 6, 2009 12:12 PM EST

{"commentId":4682839,"authorDomain":"entilzha"}

Entilzha

Potter had his wife's picture on his desk, but we actually saw her in After M*A*S*H*, though that's forgetable. Can't believe they missed Hawkeye's dad, he was mentioned throughout the series, Hawkeye wrote letters, and called him, once his dad called BJ when the Army declared Hawkeye dead before his time.

Note Vera did show up on Cheers twice, once the Thanksgiving episode. She had a pie thrown in her face by Diane who was aiming at Sam, so we didn't see her, but Vera told Norm they were going home. And another time she got a job in Melvilles above the bar, and got fired after she drilled a hole in the floor to see what Norm was doing. She sat crying on the steps down to cheers, then left for after a while.

{"commentId":4682839,"threadId":"461579","contentId":"2277252","authorDomain":"entilzha"}

#10 - Tue Jan 6, 2009 10:27 AM EST

{"commentId":4683354,"authorDomain":"lhuber86"}

friendsfan

Am I mistaken or wasnt Maris on quite a few episodes of Fraser? when Niles was getting a divorce and she wanted to keep up appearances for her friends??? And then finally in one episode niles had finally had enough and confessed that he loved Daphne?

and Yes I know for sure that the Ugly Naked Guy was on for an episode!

{"commentId":4683354,"threadId":"461579","contentId":"2277252","authorDomain":"lhuber86"}

#11 - Tue Jan 6, 2009 11:02 AM EST

{"commentId":4683460,"authorDomain":"corey-hardin"}

coco15

What about cousin Jeffery on Seinfeld. I don't recall him ever making an appearance on the show.

{"commentId":4683460,"threadId":"461579","contentId":"2277252","authorDomain":"corey-hardin"}

#12 - Tue Jan 6, 2009 11:10 AM EST

{"commentId":4684633,"authorDomain":"windfall48"}

Vanessa48

WHAT ABOUT... TINO??? The lead singer of Jordan Catalano's band... from a little cult fave show called... MY SO-CALLED LIFE...

{"commentId":4684633,"threadId":"461579","contentId":"2277252","authorDomain":"windfall48"}

1 vote

#13 - Tue Jan 6, 2009 12:17 PM EST

{"commentId":4689041,"authorDomain":"jonathankraut"}

Jonathan Kraut

If "Diane" from Twin Peaks was the dictaphone, wouldn't that mean that the dictaphone played her and she was seen?

{"commentId":4689041,"threadId":"461579","contentId":"2277252","authorDomain":"jonathankraut"}

#14 - Tue Jan 6, 2009 3:49 PM EST

{"commentId":4690274,"authorDomain":"whatwouldthembido"}

thembi

They never really showed Wilson on Home Improvement, its at least worthy of an honorable mention!

{"commentId":4690274,"threadId":"461579","contentId":"2277252","authorDomain":"whatwouldthembido"}

#15 - Tue Jan 6, 2009 4:51 PM EST

{"commentId":4690477,"authorDomain":"stuarcl"}

stuarcl

I can't believe noone's mentioned Bob Sacamano from Seinfeld. That's the first one that popped in my mind immediately.

Bob Sacamano's father screwed me!

{"commentId":4690477,"threadId":"461579","contentId":"2277252","authorDomain":"stuarcl"}

#16 - Tue Jan 6, 2009 5:02 PM EST

{"commentId":4692534,"authorDomain":"ranaedean"}

Ranae-800330

What about the teacher from Charlie Brown?... or any other adult.

{"commentId":4692534,"threadId":"461579","contentId":"2277252","authorDomain":"ranaedean"}

#17 - Tue Jan 6, 2009 7:22 PM EST

{"commentId":4711999,"authorDomain":"mschieber-1"}

Mark-802669

OK....what about Worf's father, Mogh, on Star Trek: The Next Generation? It stands out because we met every other member of Worf's family (even his grandfather in ST:VI) but we never even saw an image of Mogh

{"commentId":4711999,"threadId":"461579","contentId":"2277252","authorDomain":"mschieber-1"}

#18 - Thu Jan 8, 2009 5:22 AM EST

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5Top: Favorite TV characters that no one ever played

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