— And the bride is ... exactly who you thought it was: Last season's cliffhanger tried to fool viewers into thinking either Katherine or Susan could be the veiled bride about to wed Mike, but true "Housewives" fans knew Susan would always win out when it comes to the hunky plumber. And she did, marrying Mike for the second time, with son M.J. as ring bearer. But in true Susan style, she first locked an angry Katherine in a church closet when the neighbor wanted Susan to work a public apology into the ceremony. Katherine confronted the happy couple on their way back down the aisle, and while Susan did apologize in front of all the guests, Katherine still wasn't happy.
And the bride wore: Susan's gown was delivered to Katherine's house (of course), and Katherine put it on (of course) and it fit perfectly (of course). When Susan came to retrieve her dress, Katherine taunted her by stirring bubbling tomato sauce while still wearing the gown. Susan's daughter Julie later helped Mom scrub out the spots, bluntly reminding her mom that "It's your third wedding, an all-white dress was a stretch anyway."
Meet the new neighbors: Drea de Matteo joined the "Housewives" as Angie Bolen, who moved into Edie's house along with husband Nick, teen son Danny and, of course, a horrible secret. It wasn't revealed yet, of course, but Angie told Danny it was his fault they had to move and later revealed horrible scars or burns on her back. The husband seems plenty creepy too, so don't go blaming Danny boy for everything just yet.
Deadly chore: As she took out the recycling, Julie was grabbed by someone with dark gloves, who strangled her and then ran as she collapsed to the ground. We're guessing Julie's not dead, as she's one of Wisteria Lane's only likeable characters, but it also appeared that we're supposed to think young Danny, or possibly his dad, was the Man in Black. Julie tutored Danny earlier and said yes when he asked her out, yet his dad later insulted his son by telling Julie he knew Danny wasn't anywhere near her league. Wisteria Lane always attracts the weirdoes.
Oh baby: Lynette really seems depressed that she's carrying twins, moaning that she'll be in her 60s when the new babies graduate high school. She couldn't even get excited by hearing their heartbeats and seeing them on the ultrasound, confessing to a much more positive daddy-to-be Tom that she doesn't love the children she's carrying.
We'll leave the light on for ya: Bree and Karl are eager to consummate their new naughty affair, but something is always wrong for Bree. She won't fool around with her divorce lawyer (and Susan's ex) on his couch, or in a nice hotel, or in a seedy motel. Finally, she agrees to meet for a tryst after Susan and Mike's wedding, pushed to her limit by pressure from Orson, who doesn't want a divorce.
Party all the time: Gaby continued to wrestle with Carlos' teen niece, Ana, refusing at first to sign the papers that would make the Solises Ana's guardians for two years. She seemed to know what Ana was up to because Gaby herself had been the same kind of beautiful wild child, forced to grow up too soon. After Ana breaks her promise and heads to a late-night club, Gaby humiliates her and drags her home. But when she discovers how similar the two were, Gaby relents and puts her John Hancock on the guardianship document.