— If putting on an unexpected and unforgettable performance was all it took to earn a perfect score on “Dancing With the Stars,” Kirstie Alley would have been rolling in 10s after Monday night’s finals round.
Of course, that’s not all it takes. Earning those digits requires flawless footwork or dancing artistry or being a judges’ favorite. (More on the latter later.)
Still, with the season-long quest for the mirror ball trophy almost over, Alley certainly put everything she had on the floor in her last chance dances. First she showed her smooth moves in a hip-shaking samba, and then she came back to wow the crowd with her anything-goes-and-then-some freestyle.
No matter what viewers think of Alley at this late stage of the game, fan or critic, they’d have to admit that 10 weeks ago few would have expected her to make the finals, and no one would have imagined that the recently slimmed-down 60-year-old would mark the occasion with big jumps, bigger lifts and even a cartwheel. Barefooted. In a catsuit.
But she did.
The rumba and cha-cha infused routine earned a standing ovation from the in-house audience. The judges, however, were not quite as generous.
Carrie Ann Inaba, who on the upside called Alley a “poster child for how life should be lived at 60,” giggled as she nitpicked the “alley-oop” feeling of the lifts. Bruno Tonioli and head judge Len Goodman seemed to agree. They handed out a matching set of 9s for the routine, as they had with the samba. The total of 54 out of 60 points made Alley the evening’s low-scorer.
For that, the audience booed the panel, but the crowd shouldn’t have been surprised. After all, the night stacked up much as the entire season had.
As such, Hines Ward was tied for the top spot on the leaderboard.
Ward went big on splash and pizzazz in his first performance, a bouncing quickstep. The fluid moves were some of the best the Steelers wide receiver has delivered on the dance floor and earned him 10s and a 9, as well as some interesting comments.
Both Inaba and Tonioli told Ward that he had a way about him on the stage that made them simply watch him and forget that they’re supposed to judge him. That may explain a few things — such as why Ward seems to be the judges’ favorite this season, and why they so often ignore problems in his performances.
Case in point? Routine No. 2.
For Ward’s freestyle, the gridiron guy channeled his inner marching-band member and delivered an awkward dance. Sure, there were some truly lovely lifts and it was full of pep, but no amount of team spirit could cover up the stiff frame and heel-toe troubles.
That was worth 10s all around.
Note to the panel: Don’t forget to judge!
Landing alongside Ward score-wise was Chelsea Kane, who started the night on the right foot with a sexy and decidedly un-Disney-like samba.
The routine inspired Tonioli to get out of his seat and writhe, though in fairness, many things on the show get that reaction. It also earned Kane 29 points.
All eyes were on Kane for her freestyle follow-up. With a tradition-eschewing pro partner like Mark Ballas, the dance offered a chance for both of them to shine. That’s just what the judges must have thought had happened, because Kane raked in all 10s for it.
Which begs the question: What routine were the judges watching? Sure, the dance was better than Wards’ so-called perfect number, but that oddly flow-free dance, complete with a lights-out flashing shoe and glove show, wasn’t close to Kane’s best — or Ballas’.
Now that the judges have had their say, it’s up to the public to decide who goes on to tomorrow night’s last ballroom battle. The top two vote-getters land one more chance to face-off for the shiny trophy. With the current standings so close, it’s still anyone’s game.