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I think it is great she wanted to do this. What I think is wrong is using the Judicial system for this. What a waste. You donate organs without a problem, how is this so much different. I would question it if it was some girl wanting to do this, but this is his mother who knew him best and knew what he would have wanted.
This should never have gone to court and publicized . This should have been a personnal matter. In her position I would probably want to do the same.She will be able to be at peace knowing that his organs saved lives and that someday there will be a little one to carry on his good nature, humor and heart.
Mom, YOU GO GIRL.
#1 - Thu Apr 9, 2009 9:56 AM EDTWe all have an opinon but it's the families decision. Just like a will or organ donation. This is her son not ours. We all live to leave something of ourselves behind. only the family knows what is best for them and her deceased son. They will have known his wishes. The child will be fine the family at the right time need to explain to child what happen and if you sit and explain and give understand it will be ok. Again this is a families decision not the world.
This isn't anything like organ donation. We are not talking about using something already in existence that can no longer benefit it's original owner. We are talking about creating a new human. This is not carrying on anything. This a separate, unique individual. Her grief is overwhelming her judgement. It is not fair to bring a child into the world as an orphan to make someone feel like they didn't lose as much. She still lost her son and the baby won't replace him, period. She needs to foster a child who needs a parent desperately. If she isn't interested in that, then get a puppy.
I'm Outraged! This woman is selfish and greedy, she has no right to HIS sperm! This is typical of women and their hypocracy! I guess when women rail against losing total control of their own bodies when it comes to abortion, it doesn't carry forward for anyone else! I pity the child and I pray that the sperm is not viable, just another child born into a fatherless home...And oh by the way, this should lead to more say in the abortion discussion when men assert the right to control their own sperm regarding their wishes to abort the child or force the woman to bring the child to term, after all IT"S THE MAN"S SPERM!!!!Sickening what this lowlife has done. She's the new Frankenstein of the 21st century!
Agreed with Mississippi. I have no opinion either way, it wasn't my son, I'm not his mother, just a reader reading this tragic story about how some young man was robbed of his life by a senseless act of violence and how the mom legally harvested his sperm.
Sperm harvesting - Right, wrong or indifferent, the mom is going to do what the courts have granted her permission to do.
Now why don't ya'll just have a nice cup of shut the f*** up.
Once technology exists to do something - ethical or not it will be done. BTW - This is no one's business but the partys involved.
No one has the right to decide what should be done with someone's organs except the individual himself/herself. I find it selfish, especially considering that any children conceived in this manner would never know their father. As a mother, I can understand this woman's grief and anguish, but that energy would be better spent in becoming an activist or doing something to better the human condition rather than start something like this.
#2 - Thu Apr 9, 2009 10:06 AM EDTI agree. My problem with this is that this boy didn't ever express interest in fathering children posthumously, and this article gives no indication that he would want this done. While it's awfully sad that any child that comes from this wouldn't ever know his/her father, it's more scary that family members can use the judicial system to carry out their wishes, and not necessarily those of the deceased. It's a huge jump from "I would like to have kids some day" to "I'd like my semen harvested after I'm dead to create babies."
How selfish of this mother. I understand she is grieving, and wants a piece of her son to live on, but is the fact that this will "Make their grieving easier" a justifiable excuse to bring a child into the world? If she is that sad and lonely she should get a pet, not a human being to help her grieve. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose a child, but shortchanging them of two loving parents on purpose before it is even born is awful. I don't know what is happening in this world, but the way children become an escape from feelings and to fill voids (ex. Octomom), its like going to a pet store and picking out a puppy.
#3 - Thu Apr 9, 2009 10:32 AM EDTMy heart goes out to this Mom and give her credit for having the courage to pursue this dream. My 20 year old son was diagnosed with GSM 4 (Brain Cancer) in January 2009, he is my only child, I'm an only child and have lost both my biological and adoptive mothers over the past 2 years have no know father in my life. However, I am blessed with a fantastic husband of 9 years. I too had the same idea with my son's sperm but was not sure how to approach this subject. I understand how the pain of losing her son has made this Mom go this route. It's so hard having to face the fact that I maybe losing the love of my life, that as a Mom you want to find a way to continue the legacy that had been started by your son and had been away from this life too soon.
Thank you for your inspiration and I plan to have this conversation with both my husband and son.
God bless you as you are heal from sorrow and unthinkable grief from losing you son.
#4 - Thu Apr 9, 2009 10:42 AM EDTYou are another greedy parent.DEAD is DEAD, unless otherwise instructed by the deceased!It's an aggregeous act!
If this man were still alive, his mother would have no bearing (legally, ethically, or other) in the decision of if and/or when he was going to have children. So why in the event of his death is that priviledge granted? Especially when her motive for wanting to harvest his sperm and raise his kid is basically so she can feel better about her son dying...You don't make kids who will never have any real connection to their biological mother or father because you are sad. Babies don't fix broken marriages, personal issues (as the octomom has shown us), or depression and that kid will end up the victim when all is said and done. The court should have stayed out of it and doctors should practice on ethics.
#5 - Thu Apr 9, 2009 11:22 AM EDTI am in TOTAL agreement with you! FINALLY, someone who is rational!!!
I don't think a doctor can make a "legal" call on this that is the practice of ethics. Hence, the court involvement.........so what comes first here?
Amen! Babies are NOT something we create to make ourselves feel better. She can get a dog and name it after her son.
Who are you....I couldn't agree more. Sure everyone would love to have something to remember their loved ones by. I deeply wish I had my mom's voice saved on a voicemail or something so I could hear her voice again, but I am not going to go to crazy extremes to have her voice put on tape from beyond the grave (ha, if that were even remotely possible).
As horrible as it is, we all lose loved ones and we all miss them, but that is no reason to bring a child into this world. This baby will have no mother, no father, just an elderly grandma who made her becasue she was depressed. I wouldn't even suggest getting a puppy to cure depression if depression was the sole reason for wanting that puppy, let alone a child.
It is horrible and I would never wish that kind of pain on to anyone, but people lose loved ones everyday. It's not fair, but who said life was fair? The answer isn't some freak science experiment to give her a baby that she thinks will help replace her lost son. I feel very badly for this child if it should ever be conceived.
100% agree. He could have chosen to be an organ donor, but specifically didn't...so when people are going on and on abotu how this is "just like being an organ donor" they are right - but it is something he chose not to do! How can she make that decision for him?
Great post!
Sounds like a group of "touchy, feely/warm and fuzzy" perverts. One step from incest or baby factory ethics.
#6 - Thu Apr 9, 2009 11:24 AM EDTI think the Mother needs some mental therapy.
#7 - Thu Apr 9, 2009 11:44 AM EDTNO problem with organ donors! This is the same thing. But the upside is that the Mom of this young man will benefit from knowing that she is continuing the legacy of her son. Sounds like she knew her son better than any of us....so who are we to judge. This is also no different than the issues that revolve around Pro choice...it is an individual matter....and not something for you or I or any court to pass judgement on.
Shame on those of you who can read an article and make a statement about the individual's ethics and values!!! Again, who are we to determine what type of relationship is the "correct" one for a mother and her son! How dare you make it seem as though a parent should have no "legal or ethical" say in what should happen to her child's physical body at the time of death. Again, you can choose to have your organs donated to a perfect stranger just by noting it on your driver's license!
#8 - Thu Apr 9, 2009 11:46 AM EDTYes, you're right...HE could have chosen to become an organ donor, but didn't...SHE made that choice for him. She had no legal standing to do so. It was to comfort herself...but she wasn't thinking of the child later on down the road with no biological parents. Like someone before stated, children don't fix marriages and they don't fix personal problems. .
Your argument makes as much sense as it would to say no one else has the right to judge someone for murdering another human being. Afterall, they had their reasons, it was an individual matter. Doesn't fly does it? Neither does your argument.
She certainly has "legal and ethical" say in what happens to her son's body after death...it's his PROCREATING that she most definately does NOT have any say in. Not in life nor in death.
She cannot bring her Son back! AND she HAS another Son at home, what about him?
This woman lost her son on Sunday! She can't be coherent. Next, she'll announce that she want to have Her son's baby........
#9 - Thu Apr 9, 2009 11:52 AM EDTWow, i was just thinking the same thing! I absolutely disagree with her decision to collect his sperm for the sole reason of having grandchildren. I think if he were engage/married-then yes, by all means take the sperm, but in this case-who will she convince to have her son's child and then walk away to allow her to raise alone.
A bit disturbing I tell ya!
mother's of sons - what a piece of work and the "son" wanted to "have" 3 sons sons do not "have" anything i'm sure if it had been a girl there would have been no brewhaha at all she has one son left and that is not good enough???? am surprised she did not clone him!!!!
#10 - Thu Apr 9, 2009 12:06 PM EDTBreeders always think they have a right to do whatever they want regardless of the ethical implications and without any thought to future consequences. Her reasons are completely selfish. Death is a natural part of life. You cannot stop it, only prolong it. At some point we have to accept our own mortality and that of our loved ones.
Creating another life knowing that the child will never know its biological parents is just not fair to the child. Also, if her son wanted to ensure that his genes would be passed along in the event of his untimely death, he could have arranged to have his sperm frozen. But he didn't do that, so either he was planning to have children the old fashioned way or not at all. We will never know.
A parents rights concerning their children end when that child turns 18 years old, period. It doesn't matter whether they are dead or alive. She is disrespecting his memory by her actions and she has no right. For you religious people, you cannot tell me that what she did was God's will. She has only given in to her own selfish needs.
#11 - Thu Apr 9, 2009 12:06 PM EDTI totally agree. I would not want to be brought in this world without my biological parents. Its just wrong.
Exactly Mappy! This is just plain wrong.
#12 - Thu Apr 9, 2009 12:07 PM EDTmother's of sons what a piece of work her sons wanted to "HAVE" 3 sons got news for her sons don't have anythingggggggggggggg im sure if it was a girl there would have been no brewhaha at alll she has one son that is not enough am surprised she did not clone him
#13 - Thu Apr 9, 2009 12:12 PM EDTAs previously stated by others I have no problem with donating my son's organs to save the life of others but would NEVER harvest his sperm to create a baby. Hard as it would be I would have to deal with the fact that my son, the love of my life has passed. I personally find this to be appalling and selfish.
#14 - Thu Apr 9, 2009 12:12 PM EDTThere is no greater loss than that of a child. Unfortunately my family has gone through this loss, when my brother was killed. To have a piece of him to love would be a treasure. We were not given this choice, because he had not had any children yet. I miss him everyday and as a mother I can truly understand a mother's desire to keep her son close. I believe that her decision is one done of love and not mental insanity. The loss that she has indured only those who have experienced it can truly understand.
#15 - Thu Apr 9, 2009 12:18 PM EDTI can understand her loss and grief, but that does not mean she should create a child of his. This child will never have parents. I lost my parents at a very young age and was raised by loving family. It was nice but not the same. I was made painfully aware of that loss year after year at school, and in life. Filing out paperwork for anything usually required me to list my parents information. Going to the doctors and having them ask about parents medical history which I had to explain I had none. I know first hand what it's like to grow up without parents. I would never wish this on another child. An extended loving family is nice but not the same thing.
jsolar you seem to think you are qualified to tell the rest of us that what she is doing is "correct". Sunshine Lady has it in perspective and spoton. You need to get help for your god complex.
#16 - Thu Apr 9, 2009 12:18 PM EDTjsolar: your argument doesn't even make sense. I'm not a big fan of passing judgement on others either, but in this case I'll make an exception.
First of all, parents always think they know their children and what their children would have wanted. They really have no way of knowing that unless their offspring had a will that specified their wishes. This has nothing to do with what he wanted. This is all about what she wants.
Second, she does not have any right, at least morally. See my previous post. People do not have rights over other people unless those people are under 18 years of age, period. It makes no difference that it was her son or that he died. Even dead people have rights. As for organ donation, again, the difference is that people have the right to determine for THEMSELVES if they want to donate organs. If he was 21 he was certainly old enough to make that choice for himself. This woman needs grief counseling desperately and she needs to learn to let go.
#17 - Thu Apr 9, 2009 12:20 PM EDTI agree that its a family matter and its a shame that it had to go through the court system and be made public so everyone can scrutinize this family's decision. HOWEVER, I would be rather disturbed and "creeped out" if someone was going to harvest my eggs to make children once I die.
But then again, everyone should have the right to make this choice as it suits them best.
#18 - Thu Apr 9, 2009 12:54 PM EDTI see absolutely nothing wrong with what this mother is doing. That being said, she should not try to collect Social Security survior benefits for the child, nor use it (them) as factor in any legal case regarding the death of her son. (wrongful death suit etc).
#20 - Thu Apr 9, 2009 1:09 PM EDTHey, she has NOOOOOOOOOOOO Right to his sperm! Remember "REST IN PEACE"? Not rest in pieces!!!!! She's a loser!
There has already been a case of a child created after the father was deceased and the court found that the child was entitled to survivor benefits. The public will be paying to raise this child.
I could unsterstand this if her son had a wife or a girlfriend who wanted to have his child but she wants a stranger to have her sons baby. I have mixed feelings about this.
#21 - Thu Apr 9, 2009 1:10 PM EDTYou're in Easy Mode. If you prefer, you can use XHTML Mode instead. |
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Ethics has nothing to do with it. The question should be is it morally correct. I say whatever makes the survivors feel good is fine.