How has your mother influenced your body image?

I will never forget coming down the stairs one morning at 7 years old and my mother telling me I needed to join weight watchers with her because I was 7 pounds over weight according to the book. I saw pictures of myself and I looked perfect I was the cutest lil girl. From that day on I realized something was wrong with me I did not even understand what losing weight was and why I was so hungry and my mom probably fed me half portions for an active child. I began to hide food in my room and sneak because I was soooooooooo hungry. Since 12 I have been on and off weight watchers the rest of my life only liking myself when I weighed what the book says I should weigh. When I had my daughter I never kept food from her, nor did I force her to eat when she was full and finish her plate. She is picture perfect and is 15 years old. Us mothers have a huge influence even if we don't mean harm.

OMG, yes! My Mom was anorexic before there was that term (1965) - 5'1" and 86 pounds. I was 15 and learned that if I weren't thin, I wasn't what I should be. I am now 60 and still struggle with my body image. I am constantly dieting/gaining and losing 10-15 pounds. I just cannot seem to accept myself if I don't maintain a size 6. I hate it, but don't seem to be able to overcome that legacy my Mother left me.

Yes, my mom's body image absolutely influenced my own. The way she pestered my dad into asking how she looked. Instead of a simple question and answer, she would press him and prod him until he stopped the "you look good" or "fine" into agreeing with her that something was not quite right.

Now, my mom is overweight. I am on the fit end and do my best to stay that way. But if my zipper looks like it isn't sitting right or there is a kleenex in my pocket wadded up and creating a bulge, she will point it out in front of everyone. Because she picks herself apart, she will focus on the tiniest little thing about me. I just get so sick of it. Somedays I feel like saying "well look at YOU. You are fat. How can you even talk about my little imperfection when you are about 150 lbs heavier than me." I know that it would be mean to say so I have to bite my lip. I know she wants me to "be the best I can be" but it really has taken a toll. When I was a young teen, she made me wear the baggiest, bulkiest clothes to hide my curves.

I think as a result, I don't have any idea of my own attractiveness level. or the fact that I am. Men would whistle at me or I would get compliments and I would tell them that they needed glasses. Not that looks are everything, but I went out with and even was married for a time to a man I did not consider physically attractive. Everyone has a different type of guy they find attractive and on woman's prince is another's frog, but there is a big difference between a guy that is not traditionally attractive but you have ATTRACTION to because of his humor, mind, and looks, and one that you don't feel it, and I was confused about that, thinking that I wasn't so hot so I had to accept being with a guy I wasn't attracted to.

Yep. My mom hated her body even though it is a very good body. She has always said she is ugly. She used to talk of how fat & ugly she was as a teenager. When I became a teenager, I thought I was fat & ugly. I wasn't. Throughout my 20's I thought I was fat & ugly. Sometimes I was fatter, but I was mostly the size I was in High School with bigger bosoms....so, I thought I was fat. I chose to become bulemic. Found out in my 30's that my mom practiced bulemia while I was growing up. I never knew, but it explains, now, why the toilet & bathroom were always so clean while the rest of the house wasn't. I no longer practice bulemia, but am only in remission I've learned the hard way. Now, I am 40, have a brand new daughter, and, guess what? Even though I am healthfully loosing the baby fat and have reachieved a prepregnancy size, I still see fat & ugly in the mirror. Even though I know better and men & women react to me as though I am beautiful (men stare with delight, women stare with hatred....if only these women knew how ugly they look when they look at me that way). I must be very careful to portray a good self image for my already beautiful daughter (takes after her very good looking father). I pray I can do it.

I am not certain if I was influenced by my mother, but as a grandmother, I am acutely aware of the pressures our young girls face in trying to live up to the hollywood image. I became so concerned about our girls being robbed of their self esteem and their childhood in so many cases, that I wrote a book. "On Being a REAL Princess, Secrets of the Happy Heart Princess" is all about self esteem, values and decision making. 16 princesses from around the world share their secrets and offer journaling activities. Illustrated with beautiful watercolors, this book is a great tool to broach those issues that our young girls face in an interactive manner. The book is available on Amazon.com or at www.happyheartprincess.com $12 + s&h

I'm 51, my mom was overweight. My dad was handsome and in good shape. I couldn't understand why she would let herself go like that... She never exercised or really tried to look GREAT for him. I promised myself, I would never do that... So, for a brief, very brief time I only ate an apple a day or green beans and worked out religiously.. 20 mile/day bike rides... Till I realized, that wasn't the way to go. Mom never ever tried to help me or my sister... And, our uncle was a doctor. I never was more than 125lbs. but, I'm only 5 ft. tall, so every pound made a difference...

My sister, went the bilemic route, became head cheerleader, top beauty, etc.. But, the eating disorder ruined her life! She had route canals, messed up her body chemistry, was institutionalized a few times...and now, has to take lithium...She has never gone back to the person she was...

I was very conscious of all this with my daughter. And, I made sure, I always presented the fact that I took pride in how I look... even if I was a few pounds heavier than I liked. I ate right and worked out. I never returned to the one thing a day routine.

I'm so glad that the public is realizing, there's nothing wrong with a woman looking like a woman and having curves! We are not supposed to look like to a man or some model. But, love ourselves as we are.. So what, we aren't perfect! Who is???

It's true. My Mother always emphasized that beauty is within. She was a fastidious, classy lady. I emulated everything she did and said. Now a carbon copy. I'm proud that I'm what I am because of my Mother.

This is so true. My mother has battled with weight my entire life. She is so unhappy with her self, and has always put her self down. All we ever heard was, "I'm fat, I'm disguisting". Now my younger sister (30) exercises all the time, and never eats. She is skin and bones. She is now reflecting that on her children who are 16 and 9, and always refer to themselves as "fat". I am so angry at my mother for reflecting that upon us. I don't mind looking a lot like my mother...as long as I never act like her.

I developed my own body image issues without the pressure of commentary from my mother. A difficult childhood courtesy of my mother, however, is what opened the door to my problems. Glossy fashion magazines and press influences contributed in large portion to the problem. As a 39 year-old woman and mother to three, including two teenaged daughters, I made a conscious effort to ensure that they feel good about who they are and how they look, regardless of the mental battles I yet fight in my own head and heart. They have always worn their clothes with a confidence in their image that I never possessed at their age. I still struggled with negative criticism of myself. But, my daughters have actually helped me to have a more positive view of my body. I am not unattractive or overweight. I realize I was not when I was a kid, either. What gets into the brain at a young age really has an impact. Now, I go for daily exercise - not over the top - and work at moderate healthy eating. But, look at this website and this news show just this morning: People Magazine's most Beautiful People. Sexy outfits and such. The ideas conflict and bombard us each and every day in every aspect of life in this society.

I just happened to be off work today and watched the Today show. Thankyou for discussing this. I am in my mid 50'd , my mother is in her 80's. I was told I was fat / chubby as a child, and to this day, I still have to listen to criticism about what I wear and how it looks on me. She points out every area that was not "perfect" in her opinion. I was never allowed to buy a 2 piece swimsuit unless it had "boxer" bottoms. My mini skirts in the 70's were never as short as my sisters. Honestly, when I look at pictures from my childhood, I was probably normal weight, but my siblings were very skinny. My mother was also the thinnest of her siblings. I never had a daughter, but I wonder if I would have done the same thing if I had a daughter; oh, I hope not. I did go through a period what may have been an eating disorder after my last son was born. I became really thin and exercised a lot, along with working and caring for my family. I try to eat healthy and exercise for the family history of hypertension, strokes and cancers. My current weight is within normal limits according to my doctor, but there are many times I have difficulty feeling comfortable and confident in what I wear.

I,too, had a mother who was hospitalized at 13 with 'malnutrition' and was convinced that appearance mattered, genetics didn't and diets worked! I, ofcourse, thought she was the most beautiful and wise woman in the world so I accepted her perception of my body which framed my perceptions and eating and dieting behaviors for years. Hoping not to repeat the same mistakes with my daughter, I purchased Kathy Kater's book, Real Kids Come in All Sizes, which inspired the two of us so much that after many years of study and experience in the classroom we created the How I Look Journal for girls which has been vetted by the National Eating Disorders Association and helps girls see their beauty, their power and their potential. Strong mothers and daughters can be change agents to redefine beauty and empower our daughters!

Yes, my mother certainly changed the way I view my body.I will first give you some background on my mother and I. I currently now 19 years old and a very curvy women with big boobs and a big butt. I weigh 145 lbs and and 5'9" which is pretty much average (according to most height and weight charts). My mother is 48 years old and has fake boobs. She weights 115 lbs and is about 5'7''. At about the time when I first started going through puberty my body began to change, A LOT. My body started to look very awkward because of the places in which I began growing. Clothes that fit me right were very hard to find so whenever my mother would take me shopping it was a horrible experience. I would be in the dressing room for hours trying to find something that looked good on me, and my mother was never supportive. She would say, "Alli you have to stop eating so much," and one time she even called me a pig. The constant sound of my mother's voice nagging me about my weight year after year eventually made me stop eating all together for about 2 months. I found myself lying to my friends and family telling my friends i ate at home and my family i ate at my friends. I was anorexic and i realized i had a problem. Luckily, i wasn't too far into the addiction when i realized this and i was able to start eating again without any professional help. Even to this day few people know about my former problem, my mom is one of the people i never told because i am afriad what she may say. With all the horrible things she has said about my weight in the past i wouldn't be surprised if she said, "Really? Are you sure because i couldn't see the difference." Anyway, after that period in my life i learned to love my body no matter what my mother said. My mother damaged our relationship very badly with all the remarks she had made about my body. It has now been approximately 5 years since my problem. My mother and i are working to repair our relationship, but she still comments on my weight. Now i just don't let it bother me and i tell her, "I don't care what you or anyone else thinks about my body. I love my body and that is all that matters." I do think that although she originally destroyed my self-esteem, in the long run she actually built it up. I certainly wouldn't recommend anyone ever trying this with their daughters to build up their self-esteem because i am very lucky that my realization didn't come too late. Sometimes my mom will say to me, "You should care more about what you look like and take pride in yourself," and i can't help but laugh on the inside because although my mother maybe skinnier than me and maybe ever prettier than me it is all superficial and i am the one who is truly happy.

Good gracious, sakes alive! What a nerve this has hit!

Although I’m 50 years old, my mother’s criticism about my weight as a child and as a teenager is with me every day and has limited my life in countless ways. It was so hard to be raised by a size 4-6 when my body shape and appetite is like my dad’s “heftier” side of the family.

My weight was my mom’s not-so-secret anguish. Everyone knew that if I would just go on a diet like so-and-so, and if I would just ride my bike as much as the thin neighbor sisters, my problem would be solved. What was wrong with me?

She didn’t understand why I couldn’t see how simple it was (diet and exercise) and why I couldn’t see how much my life would improve if I were thin. She didn’t know the meaning she was attaching to her desire for me not to be overweight.

Growing up overweight, embarrassed about being overweight, and with the knowledge that my mom was embarrassed by my weight….. uggghhh!!!! It just made me eat more.

It wasn’t until I was turning 30, married, and long gone from home that I was able to healthfully achieve and maintain a normal weight for nearly 20 years. Currently, I’m struggling with menopounds. I want to lose about 15 pounds to look and feel better. (My joints and my varicose veins will thank me.) I recently launched a blog about this effort at http://menopausedieter.blogspot.com

Oddly, my mom now compares me to other women my age and she says I look good, because many are larger than me. (Thanks, Mom!) If only she would have said that I looked good as a child and stuck with that story, no matter what and with no comparisons to anyone. What could I have become?

I don’t have a daughter, but I have a 15-year-old son. Over six feet tall and lean, he has an enviable athletic body, which I frequently praise. Clothes, especially pants, look incredible on him. Yet, he responds that he’s “fat”. I get mad at him because I think he’s pulling my chain, but sometimes I think he truly believes he’s overweight. That would be my fault, because I’m so critical of my body.

My mom occasionally relays information to me about keeping up my son’s self-esteem. Makes me want to ask her why mine wasn’t important. I have step back and remember that she didn’t know the damage she was doing to me. “Self-esteem” was not a buzz word in the 1960’s.

I will forever be grateful to my mother for never uttering a word about my weight. Looking back I wasn't always the "skinny kid," but my mother (and father) always encouraged me to be active by participating in sports. When I hear mothers talk to their daughters about weight (especially in front of others), honestly, it breaks my heart. Now that I am a mother, I want to make it my own responsibilty to monitor the weight gain and loss of my children.

We remember the negative comments because they have extreme impact even when compliments are included in the conversation. Puberty intensifies self conscious feelings of the growing child. These years can extend from 10-20+ for both girls & boys. Of course mean comments reflect major societal conflicts and rude expectations. Too fat for girls, too thin for boys....their bodies rarely finish maturing until the reproductive years are finished. By that time (we) are too busy to notice the good looks we have missed. Parents are not perfect in body or mind and can do damage with even a questioning look. Let's try to foster confidence outside our bodies and educate our kids remembering of course, bodies are private and should always be nutured in every healthy way if we want ourselves and our children to flourish.

Yeah, my mom influences how I see myself. So does my dad. When my mom was my age (17) she was anorexic and bolemic. Now, she weighs over 250 lbs. I don't see her as overweight; she's my mom. But she's been calling herself fat for years and showing me pictures about how tiny she used to be. Now, if I can't see my collarbones really well, like they aren't completely defined, I freak out and won't eat for a couple days. Instead, I'll drink water and suck on icecubes to curb my hunger. I can't stand even the tiniest bit of flab on my stomach and sides, and I hate my thighs. And my face. My mom wears tons of make-up because she has some zits; and she picks and them. Sadly, she's passed that habit on to me.

And my dad....He makes all sorts of comments, thinking its funny. He tells me that I'm huge, or that I have a big butt. I remember one time, my parents were in their room, talking. I'd preheated the oven to make myself a pizza; I was starving(not literally). I go into their room and sit down on the bed, where they are. My dad says "Jesus Morgan, you sunk the bed!" Almost in tears, I left and turned off the oven. I didn't eat for three days; finally, I had to give in, because to top it off, I'm hypoglycemic.

So yeah, I think they affect me..... And the worst thing about it is, I'm 5'7" and weigh 119 lbs. And I still think I'm over weight.

My Mom definetly influnced how i feel about my body. She told me my Dad and her got their divorce because he was no longer attracted to her body after having kids. Ever since then i have been so afraid of men rejecting my body and being unattractive. Its hard for me to realize that not all men are that shallow....Im working on it though.

My mom is fat basically I got my body from my dads side but my mom always tends to call me fat and ugly for no reason and i always eat handsfull and loads of food i don't diet i weigh 120 and im 5'4 pretty average thank god for my fast metabloism or I'd be a piggg and my mom always eats at night and it makes me to and i have fulll dinners at like 1am so she effected it a lot on me and calling me fat for some reason :S mymom always been chubby as a kid but she turned skinny at age 20 but got fat againw hen she pregnant :|

I remember my mom use to tell me because I wasn't a c cup that I wouldnt be able to keep a man. Once she made fun of something, my breast size or height, so did the rest of my family and almost 30 years later now my brothers wife has joined in that men would like her better because she has big breasts that she loves to display. (and my mom taught me women who wear low cut tops and display their breasts are dressed like sluts so there's another one)

When i was young, my mother used to critisize me all the time! I was neevr good enough for anything--- and i had all the defaults in the world. My legs were too big, my feet were too long, i looked too much like my father! Well when i turned fourteen, i decided to loose some weight, for i was shubby, and than i started playing tennis. My legs became defined and i fetl very confident about myself! My mother , did not take it in a good way and continued to critisize me! It affected my grades etc. But at the end, now that i am twenty, i gave up and i feel good in my body! I realized that when i was young, i had eevrything she wanted to have (she tought her legs were too skinny and would enevr wear skirts because of that)