Do you like having control in the home?

Should chores be divided equally? Probably, but it just doesn't happen. It seems to me that my husband and I both create messes in the house, but I always end up cleaning up for both of us. Some men just don't "see" dirt and clutter like women do. So, what bugs us hasn't even been noticed by the man.

I do feel like my husband works so hard, that I should provide a clean house for him and I do take on most of the chores and upkeep. But I don't mind-it's the least I can do for him since he's providing me the house to live in. I do enjoy being in charge and having control and if that means chores, so be it. Someone has to do it.

My husband and I do everything with the kids and the house 50/50, and it's been that way since our first child was an infant. We both work full time, but we didn't want our kids in daycare full time. Thankfully, our schedules have always meshed perfectly and the kids have only gone to daycare 3 days a week, tops. My children are definitely benefiting from having such a nurturing, involved dad who cooks, cleans, fixes boo boos, and plays with them every day! I didn't realize this was some kind of "movement" though. It's just what has always worked best for us!

relationships are never 50/50...The 50/50 division of labor is as effective as a child drawing a line down the middle of their bedroom to demarcate their territory over their siblings. Quality time, babysitting or nurturing is a family responsibility NOT a chore. As far as chores go - we take on chores that we like doing, like doing more than our partner or are better at than our partner. The partnership happens in the communication - not in the external measurements. Control is typically a mask for fear - rather than coming up with rules to assuage the fears what if we dealt with the real issues. Relationships are a 100% of both partners. How you quantify that is up to you. Rules inhibit communication and are the death of intimacy.

50/50 is a ridiculous plan - whatever happened to doing something because you just want or need to?? Better yet, whoever has the time at any given time simply does whatever needs to be done! Then there's zero score-keeping - which is a recipe for disaster - plus the task gets done and you both end up with open time at the same time to go spend having fun together! Lists and agreements build resentment, but a good old-fashioned "golden rule" approach has the best chance for success, and for doing things out of a loving heart, instead as a "have to" - call me old fashioned, but we've been together 35 years, and still have a lot of fun together.

The only reason women are not getting 50/50 is because they don't expect it. Demand it and stop doing it all ur self. U only get out of life what u expect to get out of it. Women u are worth it, start demanding it. Men are spoiled. Women would get treated better if they new they were worth it. Make it known what u expect out of your relationship. It's not about control, it's about respect for one another. If u both do it and get it done then u have more time for each other to relax. Both people in the relationship deserve to be happy. MY HUSBAND HELPS ME AND I HELP HIM!!!

Each couple has to make this decision on thier own. As for me I would love to be Mr. Mom. Unfortunately, I was "the nice guy" and told her I would support her in whatever she wanted to do and she chose to stay home. Not that I mind being the traditional breadwinner but, I'm untraditional in that I would love to be there for them all day the same as she is. You have to do what you have to do when you have kids though. Anything beats having them in daycare.

i've been with my wife for three years and she doesnt clean at all i work 42 hours a week she works abouot 20 i come home and clean everyday after i p/u the twins in daycare come home feed and bath them put them to sleep and then clean my house i get home about 4:30 everyday i can feed myself and clean my house at about 9:30 i have begged and pleaded with this woman to clean more and it;s a dead end street but she is a graet wife and mother to my kids but when it comes to the decision makeing in my house it;s definatly me!!!

You got things headed in the right direction. It's up to the couples to discover how to make things work for their household. But thanks for giving credit to us men. We want to love and nuture our kids. Yes, women have to understand as we grow into this, we're going to do this as men. At least speaking for myself, I'm not trying to find my feminine side or a neutral asexual side. I'm standing up and doing it as a man. Yes, I dressed my kids in mismatched clothes and even let my son wear his favorite smurf shirt for a week ( I washed it nightly). But I put band aids on scraped knees, wiped noses with the tail of my shirt and gave hugs and kisses and read them to sleep. As they got older I'd leave work to pick them up from the bus stop and take them and their friends for burgers and ice cream. Till they got too old that Dad picking them up at the bus stop wasn't cool any more. Lots of time my wife would say I was trying to compete with her as a parent. But, I'd just tell I wasn't competing I was just trying to be the best parent I could be. Plus, I never knew I'd love it so much. We had two boys so the boy in me was just having fun. Also, I have a sister and mother in education and child development and they started sharing child development with me. Anyway, my wife and her friends are career women. Only one of her friends is a stay home mom. That kid is off the charts so anyone can see how much it has benefitted the child. I was career minded too until I realized how much our sons were losing as latchkey kids. I took a job with flexibility so I could spend time with them. But, in the end we resolved it with divorce. But, just maybe, if women we're talking like this 10 years ago, maybe we could have resolved it differently. She might listen to a woman . Especially educated career women. Back then so many were racing to the glass ceiling and kicking it in. But it costs. It has costs. Kids and families shouldn't be the collateral damage. Thanks ladies.

I am working full time from home and spending most of the time with my kids.

However today for the mothers day my son asked me to make a cake for dady for his mother days.