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some people overly-humanize animals and show an over-the-top amount of attention to them. That would cause jealousy for sure. they are pets, not people... would you leave your baby home alone in the house? No... Will your dog get you flu medicine when you are sick? No... Who will make passionate love to you at night? I REALLY Hope it's not Fido the dog!
#1 - Tue May 26, 2009 3:12 PM EDTWhat do you have against animals making sweet sweet love with their owners? Pets need love too, Sincerely, richard gere's gerbil
If we show too much attention, it's because thats what we receive. You obviously have not known the unconditional love of a pet and returned it. In a blog about animal souls, it said "If dogs souls don't go to heaven, then send me where they go." I agree; the love of a pet is so much more consistant and pure than most humans, it is a gift to man from God, nature or whatever. I want to meet my pets in the hereafter, that kind of love is unique....You should see what your missing.
Enough said. AMEN ! My two little dogs ALWAYS have time to welcome me home and when I have a bad day and maybe shed a tear or two behind a locked door they are the ones that come sit on my lap and console me with a kiss or two. Love them and treat them good and they will always be there and are great company. Better than many humans . They under stand alot of what you say.
some people overly-humanize animals and show an over-the-top amount of attention to them. That would cause jealousy for sure.
In that case, if you can't handle it, you don't start a relationship with someone like that. But, you don't get to dictate whether someone has pets or not or how they interact with them. Don't like it? Stay away.
The economy is NOT to blame! People today are refusing to take responsibility for themselves!!! If you can't handle challenges, then that is YOUR shortcoming, not the challenge's fault! There will ALWAYS be challenges in life, and it is incumbent upon us to learn to deal with them. How childish of this attorney to blame the economy, but sadly, how rampant this mindset has become!!! Can you imagine our ancestors who faced the everyday life of farming where the back-breaking work was hard, illnesses were deadly because we didn't have antibiotics and other medicines, and there was no respite from your life, no leisurely outings, no tv to take you mind off your problems, nothing! Yet, this attorney is whining because her boyfriend kisses the dog first when he walks in the door. Her feelings of insecurity cannot be reassured by anyone else but herself. You can have all the support in the world, but if you do not believe in yourself, you are sabotaging yourself. If you believe in yourself, you can conquer most any problem. This woman needs to grow up and take responsibility for her insecurity. Until she does, every little problem will be someone elses fault, not hers. This doesn't bode well for her boyfriend. She sounds a bit clingy to me.
Lauren, the woman in the story does not say that her boyfriend ignores her, he simply kisses the dog first when he comes in the door, and other small actions on his part. The woman in the story states SHE is the one who needs reassuring, blah blah blah. The woman never ONCE makes any reference to her boyfriend and anything that could be bothering him. How was HIS day? No, the dog goes to the door offering love and affection, she greets her boyfriend WANTING reassurance. The guy just got off work, is probably tired, and a sweet hello and how was your day might make a huge difference in his reaction to his girlfriend. He probably dreads her greeting as she wants to dump on him, whining about all her troubles. Day after day of this gets old very quickly. If she had a real problem, serious illness, etc., maybe his concern might be more of a necessity, but she is simply looking for a job. Yes, that is draining on a person, but most of us have gone through this many, many times. She needs to buck up and act like an adult. Jealousy over the dog is childish. I can see if the man ignored her or truly acted obsessed over the dog to her detriment, but according to her article, this isn't the case.
Love me, love my dogs. My husband came after my dogs. I dated a lot of frogs to find him and they all had to pass the dog test. Dogs have a 6th sense about people. If they don't like them, neither do I.
#2 - Tue May 26, 2009 4:27 PM EDTso true - i have been married 3 times for 10 years (approx) each and yet in the end my cat was with me for a longer time (16 years! ! ! ) than any of my husbands. And not once did she want to know if I knew what time it was - what was for dinner - where was I going to put that thing - how much did it cost - any of those things.
In the first years of our marriage when there are some trying times, divorce was never an option because neither of us wanted to give up the pets, lol!!! When one would be upset about something, the other would simply say, "Well, we better find a way to work this out because I'm not letting you have the pets!!!" Then we'd laugh, and we'd be in a much better frame of mind to deal with whatever was the "problem" at hand. We've happily been married over 35 years, and we've endured a lot of struggles. But as someone once told me, we are like a team of oxen, we pull together to get over the humps. I guess you could say that our first yolk was our pets! (Yolks are not necessarily bad as many of those humps I could never have traversed alone, having a partner meant the difference. Sometimes I carry more of the load, sometimes he does. Together, it's perfect!)
Dead in the water if he doesn't like dogs.
#3 - Tue May 26, 2009 4:58 PM EDTMy 3 dogs have lived with me longer then my current partner. Prior to him I dated someone that did not care for my little four legged friends. He lost after just two dates. We are a package deal. My 3 dogs love me unconditionally. When I arrive home, I get more tail wagging from them then I do from my life partner. Though of course he is always happy to see me too after a long day at the office as I am to see him too and I agree with Sherrie1125391.... dead in the water if he doesen't like dogs... period and end of discussion.
#4 - Tue May 26, 2009 7:29 PM EDTIf you do not have enough heart to love my pets, you cannot love anybody.
#5 - Tue May 26, 2009 7:58 PM EDTThat's BS. I just didn't grow up with animals because of my mom's SEVERE allergies, so I'm not used to pets. Now, I don't want to have to put up with pet messes, pet dirt, kenneling pets when I travel frequently, vet bills, etc. That doesn't mean I can't love anybody. I just means I don't love animals. I love people a lot. Animals are what's for dinner.
Liz, you can love plenty of people, just don't be involved with someone who loves pets and wants them in their lives. One of you will be miserable and begin to resent the other. I could not have a spouse who didn't feel the way I do about pets. I always knew this and it was one of the prerequisites for a spouse because I knew that I wanted pets in my life. I also wanted a spouse who wanted children and who had the same faith as I. Just as you do not want pets, others do want pets. Either lifestyle is fine (although I feel pets bring so much to a person's life), but it is imperative that you pick a partner who feels as you do. The woman in the article loves the dog, she had had a dog herself. The Yorkie isn't her problem, her problem is her insecurity.
Okay, I think this column was just off the wall and IF this woman is being true she needs HELP HELP HELP. If i am in a releationship and this person is upset because I love my pet and they are not stable enough to understand that, then you know what, there is the door baby! Get out, live under a tree, in a box, where ever, what ever just don't bug me. Seem harsh? Nope
I mean come ON!!!!!!!
You are upset over a sweet animal. This takes Psycho Person to whole new level.This chick is an idiot.
The dog wins, Big Time.
#6 - Tue May 26, 2009 8:41 PM EDTI don't know about psycho, but this woman does sound as if she will end up as one of those people who are overly jealous. The kind that become obsessive and clingy and jealous of other women, etc. She is blaming her insecurity on not having a job because of the economy, next time her insecurity will be blamed on her boyfriend being 10 minutes late getting home or his spending time with his friends/family or something else.
Grow up!!!! You sound like one of those needy people who must be constantly reasssured of their status in a relationship. Once you are again employed your problem will probably disappear, if not then you are the problem.
Trying to "tweak" a relationship to conform to what you think it should be is a bit on the selfish side. Whatever you do, do not ask the question, "Who do you love most? ME? Or the dog?" It's a question that can not be answered and shouldn't be asked.
Pets are equalizers, and one of our most precious gifts. They accept you for who you really are and love you back without any reservations. Humans will never have this trait, unconditonal love.
#7 - Tue May 26, 2009 9:03 PM EDTI couldn't agree with you less. Humans are capable of unconditional love.I guess you have no children. Nor have you kept loving people even after a relationship ended? I have and do continue to love all whom I've loved and will continue to the rest of my life. My love runs deep,and theres lots of ways I've been treated by others in my life. I see the spirit not the action,and continue to love. I still love all my cats that have died and gone before me as well.
wow, and all along i thought the caricature of lawyers as petty, self absorbed jerks was an unfair stereotype. thanks for opening my eyes. seek help.
#8 - Tue May 26, 2009 9:14 PM EDTGet over yourself you self centered egotist. If you're not secure enough to deal with a pet that's YOUR problem, not the dog's and NOT your boyfriend's. Seek professional help.
#9 - Tue May 26, 2009 9:23 PM EDTWow! Some really harsh comments from dog-lovers here! Yes, pre-existing pets are a package deal- a commitment to one's pets should be a forever deal, but I agree with Lauren- some people over-humanaize their pets. Pets should not routinely take precedence over one's (human) partner. If the writer feels like her partner doesn't have enough affection for both her and the yorkie with the yorkie coming first, something is really, really wrong. Maybe she is too needy or maybe he's insensitive.
#10 - Wed May 27, 2009 12:39 AM EDTGood thing my husband and I are both huge cat and bird lovers! I could never have been with anyone who didn't understand my deep bonds with my (now our) cats and birds, and he felt the same way.
But I do agree that pets' needs and wants shouldn't always supercede those of people. My aunt and uncle (my uncle especially) completely catered to their dogs and now they've created monsters. Once I was trying to help my aunt vacuum and one of their dogs kept biting the vacuum cord, getting in my way, and generally making it hard to get the job done. I put the dog in the other room, explained why I had done so, and not 10 seconds later she was bugging me again. When my aunt asked my uncle why the dog been let out when I'd specifically asked that she not be, the response was, 'I know, but she wanted to be over there!'. We just looked at each other and rolled our eyes. Oy!
And for those of you telling this lady to 'grow up' and 'get over herself', even my own mother often said hello to the dogs and lavished attention on them before acknowledging me, and I have to say it was hurtful. Not that pets don't deserve attention, and not that I would have gotten rid of my cats or birds for anyone, but human partners deserve more support and affection than pets. Can you imagine how my husband would feel if I spent more time with the birds than with him? Not too happy!
I have to say this, though; if this lady hasn't talked about this with her boyfriend, she needs to do so before it blows up in her face.
#11 - Wed May 27, 2009 2:48 AM EDTWhen my husband greets me at the door wiggling and sighing, I'll hug and give him affection first. My dog is soooo happy to see me when I come home from work and it doesn't matter what kind of day I've had. That kind of unconditional love puts a smile on may face and changes my mood. Makes me a better person for my husband. Then he gets my hugs and kisses.
Pets are great therapists!
Budsette, you're right on the mark. My dogs greet me at the door when I come home from work like I've been gone for weeks!!! Couldn't be happier. My husband sits there and watches - the dogs are much more fun to come home to!!!
I've always loved animals. I also always say hello to people's dogs before I say hi to them, provided that the animals are happy to see me. It's a habit I've never been able to break (or really tried to).
When an animal is important to a partner, that relationship must be respected. If it is not, one wonders what else the selfish newcomer might want to "change." When I was single, I always let my cats be the judges of character when it came to men. Most passed their scrutiny, those who did not were quickly escorted out the door. I was fortunate enough to marry a wonderful man who had never been allowed to have a pet as a child but who absolutely fell in love with my cats and fast became a confirmed cat lover. After more than four decades of marriage, we are still extremely happy, very compatible and both adore all the cats who have graced our lives through the years, including our current three. Animals can sense things about people that our often clouded judgment might overlook. Trust them.
#12 - Wed May 27, 2009 2:54 AM EDTPets are like children to real pet lovers. If your partner doesn't understand that, the relationship will suffer. Would you select a mate that didn't like your children? Why put yourself through the agony? But then, some people like drama in their lives.
The few people I've met who don't like pets are self-centered, jealous and needy. Not my type of people and certainly not the type of man I'd want to share my life with.
#13 - Wed May 27, 2009 6:26 AM EDTI'm a package deal....me and 3 cats! Besides, I have peace of mind with my cats who love me unconditionally, never lie to me or stand me up. I've never gotten that from a man.
#14 - Wed May 27, 2009 7:00 AM EDTwow, and i thought the popular perception of lawyers as horrible, self absorbed jerks was an unfair stereotype. thanks for opening my eyes. seek help.
#15 - Wed May 27, 2009 7:12 AM EDTIf you don't want my dogs-----you don't want me. It's the same crap that widowed or divorced women go through when the begin to date again. Guys will accept you if you have small children, but not if you have kids at or near teenage------just too much trouble for the totally self involved to handle.
#16 - Wed May 27, 2009 7:21 AM EDTHellooooooooooooooo-did we read this right? She's jealous over a dog???!! Doesn't have much self esteem and a poop load of other problems obviously. More than ever owners need to hang on to their pets-don't use the so called hard times as an excuse to get rid of them or because oh my girlfriend is jealous so I have to find him a new home. It could be worse, he could be going straight to the strip club after work or have a boyfriend on the side. The dog or cat would never pull such a low stint on their owner. My husband and I dated before getting married. I had two dogs at the time. We married a year later and have been married for 14 years and I am happy to say we still have one of the two dogs we had when we dated. The other one passed away in his sleep last July. Pets are family and thats that! If you are jealous of the dog get your own damn dog! No please don't get any animal, leave them alone. I hope the guy is reevaluating this relationship. I really think people are desperate for articles. This article could have been about getting people to adopt a pet instead of some dummy being jealous over a dog. We are outta here!
#17 - Wed May 27, 2009 10:46 AM EDTp.s.
Melissa,
Dogs are not stupid.People like you are!! Go back to school and get a real job. This article is just lame. If you need that much attention and butt wiping go back to your momma!
#18 - Wed May 27, 2009 10:48 AM EDTPets give you unconditional love all of the time. If you come home from work (or job hunting) in a bad mood and you are greeted with "I am so glad to see you, and I love you no matter what". How many people do you know when they greet you and they are ignored still love you no matter what?
My late pet gave me unconditional love for 14 years, and I gave her the best care and treatment at the end that I could and I miss her terribly. RIP Trixie.
#19 - Wed May 27, 2009 11:38 AM EDTWow. I didn't realise people would get so heartfelt over the matter.
Yes, pets should be cared for and cherished, and I think some of the time, the jealousy is over-rated. On the other hand, as others have said, if your pooch takes precedence over your partners current issue- let's say your pup is fine, but your partner has a severe cold- I would hope that feeding the dog a snack would not be more important than getting medication or cooking dinner for them. If it is, your relationship is going to suffer, and it's not the dog's fault- it's yours.
I don't know if it would be a dealbreaker, but after a while with a former boyfriend, I got frustrated when his cat got better treatment- he'd stay up for hours just to entertain the kittie (who I was fond of) but I couldn't ask him to get up half an hour early to help me with a simple task because he wanted to sleep in- that's a problem.
#20 - Wed May 27, 2009 2:46 PM EDTI don't know if it would be a dealbreaker, but after a while with a former boyfriend, I got frustrated when his cat got better treatment- he'd stay up for hours just to entertain the kittie (who I was fond of) but I couldn't ask him to get up half an hour early to help me with a simple task because he wanted to sleep in- that's a problem.
That sounds like a sign of problems in a relationship, and he's avoiding them by spending more time with the cat.
I think sometimes people get it backwards. Many times doting on the pet and partner avoidance doesn't cause problems in the relationship, problems in the relationship cause partner avoidance and more doting on the pet.
Valentia, your problem was your boyfriend, not his cat. Not everyone who has a pet makes a good partner. And as VerbalBarb mentioned, it could be that you were not the right person for your boyfriend. He definitely wasn't the right person for you.
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But - I'd never, ever date a man who didn't accept my pets - they are part of who I am, and by rejecting them, he is rejecting me.