Survivors: What helped you through cancer treatment?

Surviving refractory non-Hodgkins disease and an allogeneic bone marrow transplant as a widowed mother of three young children made for a most challenging couple of years.

The St. Louis community helped me with meals and childcare. My cancer support group through the Wellness Center provided a weekly place to share with other cancer survivors. The love from my kids and my boyfriend gave me hope during the most difficult times. Writing provided me with a creative, personal outlet. I loved receiving cards in the mail from a whole variety of people.

While undergoing treament for non-hodgkins lymphoma there were two very important things that helped me through it all. Number one was always having someone with me at doctors visits and treaments. Anytime I was ever in the hospital or at the clinic someone from my family always stayed with me, it was incredible to have their love and support all the time!

Secondly I cherished the times when I was allowed to feel normal. Everyday I would receive notes and calls from family or friends checking in on me, they all started the same way: "How do you feel? Is the treament working?" From start to finish the marjority of the conversations centered around my cancer. But, I had one incredible family member who would call each week and she would ask ONCE how I was doing and then the conversation would turn immediately to other things (her life, my job, news, etc.). This conversation with her always made me feel the happiest because it was normal, we didn't dwell on my illness. When I talked to her I laughed and cried at everyday things and it was GREAT!

Take time to be there for your loved ones with cancer but also always be sure to give that person time to be themselves, cancer must not defy who they are. As often as possible talk to them about normal things and when possible go out and do things with them that they enjoyed before they were diagnosed.

I am only 2 1/2 months into my journey with ovarian cancer. The support of my family, friends, and community has been overwhelming. I had no idea that so many people care about me. I feel lifted up every day by their cards, notes, visits, food, and other gifts. Three of my friends even washed all my windows! I choose to be positive, and believe that I have many wonderful reasons to recover and that I will recover. I will not let cancer define who I am!

What a great series for Cancer patients. Feeling loved & supported is the answer and it is so true that it isn't the monetary gifts that count, it is the phone calls, notes, e-mails and kindness of any kind. Sometimes company is not the answer, so it is always good to call before visiting some cancer patients. One friend put an empty flower container out side of my home and then when my friends wanted to show they cared but it wasn't a good time to visit, they could leave the flowers in the container, how sweet. Another friend called me weekly and just wanted to know how I was, that call was helpful to me. A group of Church friends each knitted a square and then put together an afghan, what a gift I will cherish. My e-mail support group was something I so looked forward to each day as I could read e-mails over and over and since I had a lot of time on my hands, it was nice to respond. My favorite was the strong support of my loving sister, she wrote me an e-mail every single day she could, which was nearly every day for over a year. When I was down she would do all she could to get a smile out of me, silly little sayings that we said when we were kids. Her loving notes gave me the strength to want to put up a hard fight to survive. My one disappointment was once in remission I felt a huge drop of support. I totally understand that people have their own lives and they need to get back to routines but it would have helped if just a few notes or e-mails would have been sent after a month just saying Hi. I am a strong person and independent and don't expect people to have to continue to support me but most let go a little too soon and I did struggle with that.
Again, big thanks "Today Show" for putting on such a fantastic series.

I watched with great interest on the story today. I have stage 4 breast cancer and am having a different kind of experience than those who have survived. I cannot agree that "any words rather than no words" are welcome. Please do not tell people who have cancer how their relatives or friends or neighbors had to face great agony and pain, or how emaciated they looked at the end. And don't tell them to stay positive as if we could wish it away. Don't send them emails about heaven. Don't forget, cancer is a journey for some, but for others it is a death sentence. You may not know what to say, but at least let the cancer patient know that they have your permission to talk about dying. Don't look at us with pity either. Just allow us to face the reality with gentleness and caring.

I lost my son to a rare form of Hodgkins Lymphoma cancer this past December 28, 2008 and I was watching the video done with Steve Czech and about his son. I totally agree with him. Support in our small community and family was the best. I however took Andrew to all his appointments and took care of him and stayed with him when he was always in the hospital but just knowing we had a wonderful support team to talk to when needed and to be here when I got back after Andrew passed away. I am sometimes afraid to talk about him around people because they give me a look like they were afraid to mention his name around me. I need to keep his memory alive and talk about him. He was a month short of turning 21 and he loved his life. I miss him terribly everyday. He was so positive all through his fight of 18 months and 6 different kinds of chemo and 2 surgeries. He never gave up hope that he would be cured.

Suggestion - Restate the question to: What is "helping" you get through it. Very few feel they've "arrived". Give a voice to those who are still in the middle of it.

Almost 14 months ago I was diagnosed with synovial sarcoma at age 27. I was in shock and began the most terrifying journey of my life. What got me through however, was the verbal support of friends and family. It was a tough road and many people whom I considered "close" family and friends were not unsupportive but rather simply not there. However, the family and close friends who were were always there to listen to me in the middle of the night when I got scared, send cards with words of encouragement and even help put together a benefit to help cover medical expenses. The person who got me through the most, however, was my mom. When I lost the ability to drive, she was the one getting me to all my appointments. I came first in everything and she never let "what ifs" enter into the picture. She helped me deal in "what IS" instead. Her being there made all the difference.

As I watched the show today, even though I am not a cancer survivor, I remember how I was treated when I survived a drunk driver hitting our vehicle, killing my husband & my sister, and leaving me a quad in 1994.

I was hospitalized for over four months. Several people visited me in the hospital, but when I got home no one came to see me or asked if they could do anything to help me or relieve my daughter to help her out.

I felt left out, no one came to my house. I don't if they didn't know what to say or do, so they just stayed away.

I felt isolated & didn't have any one that I thought were my friends came around. I had to learn everything over as when I started to move, I still couldn't talk as my injury was a C1C2 incomplete.

I think that no matter what you have survived, the outcome is the same. Thanks for listening to me. Virginia G. Fiess

The American Cancer Society are very helpful with resourses for paitents and caregivers

When my 5 yr. old son was diagnosed with Burkett's Lymphoma in February 09, I was encouraged to keep a list of all the blessings. His treatment was short since the tumor was removed, is now in remission!

List of Blessings During Miles’ Treatment

Gourmet Ice Cream- 6 pints

$500 Cash from Family Member

$100 Gas Card

$50 Gas Card

$50 Cash

3 DVDS- Coloring Books

Spiderman Coloring Book/ Sticker Set

Spiderman Toy Car

Spiderman Action Figure, Plane, Pajamas, 2 Outfits

Spiderman Wii Game

Collector Barbie, Necklace

$50 Gas Card, Handmade shawl, Dessert

Dinner & Dessert brought over

Large Box of Organic Food,

Dinner & Dessert brought over

$50 Cash

$20 Cash

$100 Cash, DS Game, Pillow Blanket Set, Coloring Books, t-Shirt,

$50 Gas Card

G.I. Joe Action Figures (2), Barbie, Coloring books

Spiderman Board game, Stuffed animals, puzzle

$100 Cash

$100 Cash

Spiderman Labtop Game

$20 Gift Card, DVD, Cars

Paint Set, Coloring Books, Stuffed Animals from school mates

DVD, leapster, 2 Leapster Games, Coloring Books, Backpack

$100 Grocery Card

DVD, toothbrush, Candy, coloring books, stickers

DS Game

(3) Massage Gift Certificates.

Books on prayer

Dr. Griffen, who is local worldwide expert on Lymphoma,

Make A Wish Trip- going to Florida to meet Spiderman

Papa John’s – Two extra large Cheese Pizza & One Medium Cheese Pizza every week for One Year

Nitendo DS, DS game

Friends and Family staying with us at hospital,

$50 Cash, Kids received box full of toys, coloring books, games

Stuffed animals,

Cookies baked by youth group

Support from other parents, who I meet through the LLS Boards

$100 Cash

$200 Cash

Dinner bought by City Tavern

House Cleaning

He received stuffed animal on each visit to hospital

Wii to use during hospital stay from Starlight Children foundation

Great Nurses, Riley Hospital

Meeting Dallas Clark at Relay for Life in Culver

Wonderful roommates during stays

Most important many, many prayers

Many Cards

What helped me through my cancer treatment ?
CANCER INSURANCE !!!
I believe in it 100%. In September of 1995 I came down with breast cancer. I had bought cancer insurance at my front door one day many years before. It was a very good policy. I received $3000 right after the diagnosis and once I started the treatment, one check after another came in the mail. I had a mastectomy, chemo and radiation. I had 13 positive lymph nodes, the odds were against me. I am still alive, never had a recurrence and all my bills were paid along with the treatment.I had regular group insurance through my husbands work too but that might not have been enough. At first I didn't even care about the money but after a while I started buying things with it. At the end I still had a lot of money left over and had new carpeting put in my house and bought living room and dining room furniture, a new TV and entertainment center and more. I cancelled the insurance when I went on medicare 4 years ago, because the price of the policy went up. Now I have a small cancer policy for me and my husband. My daughter has the same insurance that I had before but I hope she never needs it. I also found out that they don't have as many benefits as they had when I had it, but it is still very good. The insurance was from Liberty National, not all of them are that good.

I forgot to say : Buy cancer insurance while you are still healthy, the younger you are the cheaper it is. We know that half of all Americans will get cancer eventually so the odds are 50%. Of course you hope you will never need it but you don't want to cancel it. The same reason you buy car insurance. I tried to get people to buy it but they all seemed to think it would give them cancer, nobody wanted to buy it. But once you have it, it will give you some peace of mind. I think this is good advice, I don't know why nobody seems to know about it. I don't know where I would be without it.

I have invasive ductal breast cancer - stage 2. I was diagnosed in April. I have had 3 chemo sessions already and they have been difficult. I was lucky to have health insurance through work. However, that ended on 6/4 as I work for a school district. I paid 2200.00 to pay for my insurance over the summer (cobra). It is very hard to hear you have cancer but my dad, grandfather and two uncles died of it (prostate and lung). My mom is a 3 time cancer survivor (uterine and colon - 2x). Her, my daughter, son-in-law, best friend and grandson our my support system. My others friends offered help and meant well but evaporated when the going got tough. I drive myself to treatments as my mom goes with me but is 82 years old and grandson is only 7. I also worked until the last day of school because they wouldn't let me go out on leave. I hope everyone finds someone to hold on to. My faith is my biggest help and I am holding on to it. I want to beat this and I am going to try my hardest. The hardest part is financial for my family. I don't work over the summer and am hoping to get disability but I don't know how that will pan out. When you get cancer you have to hang in there and look toward the end. Take it 1 day at a time. It is hard and unless you have been there you really don't understand what we have to go though.

The generosity of people helped me through my cancer treatments. I have a rare form of rectal cancer. I was diagnosed Oct 2008 at age 50. I gained a new friend from church who would go with me every Monday on the long treatments and checkups. To have someone there for 4-5 hours made me feel loved. My son also sat with me during checkups and we became so much closer. Another new friend from church coordinated meals 3 times a week for myself and husband, who was diagnosed with dementia. People have emailed me, called, sent letters & cards, and cute little text messages. A few people from my job will call weekly or bi-weekly to check up on me. I never felt lonely. For those that didn't call that I thought would, that was ok. All these others made up for the void. Prayer is essential. Not only others praying for you, but to pray for yourself. Keeping my connection with God helped me make it every day. I prayed to keep despair and hopelessness out of my mind. I knew others survived cancer and I could too. Finances haven't been great. I've been on medical leave since Oct 2008 and plan to go back Aug 2009 to my old teaching job. But I thank my principal who kept a spot open for me; a really lovely man with a heart of compassion. The nurses and doctors at the clinic have been wonderful. For such a terrible ordeal, I have had a wonderful experience to my journey. I feel loved and cared for and that is what matters.

One of the many things that helped me through the initial phase was my immediate family. They were terrified, my daughter was only 12 and my husband was fantastic in helping her deal with with it. My inlaws and Mom accompanied me to radiation tratments...my late father in law insisted on driving me and they developed quite a few friendships in the waiting room with the families of other patients.

My supervisors and co workers were wonderfully supportive, sending me a healing basket full of goodies, just for me. I was assured that I could work as long as I was healthy enough and I did.

One of my dearest friends brought me a beautifully decorated glass jar filled with 50 1 dollar bills.. We live in a somewhat rural area and she said that the gift was my "egg money". I was instructed that the $$ was to be spent only on fun things, like ice cream, fast food, nails, hair or anything but I was not to use it to buy groceries or to pay a bill. I still have that jar and smile whenever I look at it.

When I was diagnosed with metastasis to my vertebrae 4 yrs later, I was devastated. My CAT scan was incorrectly read and for 2 weeks we all thought I also had cancer in my liver. Our daughter was beginning her senior year in high school and there was a good chance that I would not be here to see it. What incredible joy when a biopsy proved the scan wrong.

During that awful time, my family again was my rock. We live our life very differently since then and recently our wonderful daughter graduated from Virginia Tech. What a glorious celebration we had with family and friends.

Faith, Hope and Love...that's what has gotten me this far.

After surviving Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma what stands out as helpful during those years included an excellent oncologist, nurse practitioner, radiologist and hospital staff. They are on the front lines and their support put a smile on my pathetic face. My sister and a friend took care of the necessary drives to appointments. My sister took me in during the initial treatment when I was too fatigued to do anything. She handled the phone calls and reports to the family so I could rest. I found that when I was stronger and recuperating from a stem cell transplant, I just wanted to hear what other people were doing. And I loved to laugh. When you're stuck in the hospital, you need to hear about the outside world; sorry to the religious, but gossip is better than sermons at this time. I liked to hear all the stories, even about pets and children, etc.

I have Stage IV breast cancer. My moment of not always being labeled the cancer patient is when I said to a wonderful friend..."How do you plan to die?" and her answer was "you plan to live." I am currently looking for another doctor that gives me some hope for the future. I was diagnosed 1 1/2 yrs ago and told it was uncurable. No one told me there are treatments, or said some women have lived many years or said we will fight this together. All I heard is "it is incurable and most women have 2 years." I am still doing remarkable well and now plan on many more years. I wish there was a majic book that would tell you who to see and the masters for your type of cancer. I would love to hear more about the major hospitals in the US and who is know for treating what type of cancer. Has anyone had a good experience with Stage 4 breast cancer at one of the major hospitals that I might go for a seconf opinion?