Have you had to move back in with your parents? Or parents, have you welcomed back your grown children? Share your situations and stories.

My daughter w/husband and 3 kids 2 yrs ago after their house fire and I couldn't be happier. We split everything from bills to buying groceries, cooking and cleaning plus we get to help raise our grandbabies, but are not built in babysitters. We respect each other's privacy. I wouldn't have it any other way and would do it for all my kids. Since we split everything, we always have extra money they we would not have had if we paid all the bills ourselves.

I have gone round and round with my 20 yr old daughter about her obsession with recycling. I think it is great that she chooses to do so. I even bought her 3 large bins that stack and are in the laundry room with the stipulation that if she chooses to recycle that she keep them sorted and emptied. Our area doesn't have a program so that means she has to every week or so, bag it all up and deliver it to a nearby recycling drop off. Seems like an easy setup, right?

My daughter has been lazy and now that the bins are full is keeping bags in our very small kitchen, full of recycling trash... to the point where there is no room to move about. And she yells at me if I throw anything away in the actual "trash" can. She has paper cups from fast food places all over the counters, unwilling to throw them away or get rid of them.

I, finally, got very angry and told her that it was ALL going out to the trash can. She told me if I did, she would just dig it back out. I told her if she did, she would be "out" of my house. I explained that this IS my house, and when it comes right down to it, she is lucky I have tried to accomodate her dedication to her recycling obsession - that she has to meet her obligations, as well. She argues that I am a bad person for not being as passionate as her.

I call BS on that.... I do care, but I am not going to allow her to clutter my house and create unsanitary situations....

I am tired of her trying to make me out to be the bad guy, here. She is capable and should do her part.... if she really cares as much as she claims. That is how I see it.

I think the problem with moving back home is just simple respect. The kids moving back want to be adults yet assume since they have had a difficult time as a parent you are responsble for their over-all state of being. If you have lost your job and or home you should come through the door asking about how you can take over all of the chores until you can afford to help financially. I do not understand if you are willing to pay a landlord but when you have to help around your parents home it is completely un-natural. I want you to consider going to your landlord telling them I have lost my job, I have no money but I want you to let me live here, not pay a dime, not keep the place up and not follow the rules set up by paying tenants. Hope it works out! Fall are of the people who have parents that are jerks, come up with plan B!

My parents are no longer here to move in with, I'm the parent of grown kids now. But I turned 18 1n 1968, and stayed at home until 1976 (26 y/o) because my father and I were in business together. My Dad was cool and sympathized with me, but Mom was a Mom, forever. One night in 1976 I ended up going home with a lady (a nurse, 30 y/o who had her own place) but because she had a child, we agreed that it was best if I was not there in the morning. So I went home around 3 AM, only to find the lights on. Not as a courtesy, but someone was waiting up for me!

I was in a fit of anger before I ever went in and found my mother and father sitting at the kitchen table. Before they could open their mouths, I flew into my tirade. I said that I had spent half the night at a woman's house, and at 26, it was none of their business anyway. If I wanted to stay out all night, that was my business, and if I'm going to bed with a woman, I'm not about to say "Wait just a minute, honey, I need to call my mother and let her know where I am!" I was part way through the part about my being 26 and don't need mommy waiting up for me anymore, when I noticed she was crying. I suddenly got the bad feeling that this wasn't about me at all, so I finally shut up and asked what was wrong.

My mother's mother had died suddenly that night, and they had just gotten the call about an hour before I got home. They had no idea where I was or how to contact me. (There were no cell phones back then) At any rate, they hadn't been waiting up for me, my mother was simply and understandably upset. Needless to say, even though I was completely right about my desire to live my own life, I felt like a heel given the circumstances and timing of my blowout.

20 yo son is taking time off from college, a, ahem, bilateral decision.

Been home a month; he's a good, smart kid who hasn't made all the right decisions; we desperately love him but wish he had more passion for SOMEthing... that will give him direction.

The issue for us is his role in the house not being defined. Is he here for the summer, for 6 months, a year, forever? The lack of clarity on that makes boundaries, rules, routine hard to establish and articulate. We were empty nesters... and getting used to it and quite liking it. Now... we're not sure where we are. Innkeepers? Parents again? His issue with "parenting," of course, is that he, too, was used to a level of independence that he can't fully have again. Because he's "in our house." And does that equate to "home" for him? And how do we give him more freedom and yet run a sane household? We don't want to have him go backwards in terms of his personal growth, but it can't all be his way. Because that obviously didn't work out so well.

Any advice? Thanks.

I am a 28 year old single male. I recently had to move back home in Nov. of 08. Right before this really hit hard. I was moving from Houston, TX to Myrtle Beach, SC. My parents had some recent health issues and as I had moved to TX to be with a woman I was no longer with, I decided to move to the same city my parents lived in. I had a place all lined up but there were some repairs still to be made and I was to stay with my parents for about a month. I had everything lined up and then all of a sudden everything in the financial world got flipped upside down. Not only did the job I took cut everybody’s pay across the board 20%. Now the people I was going to rent a house from no longer could afford the repairs they were going to make. Now here it is June and I am kind of skeptical of signing a lease or doing anything that requires a long term financial commitment. However since living with my parents again, I have found that we respect each other far more than I did when I was last living with them at 18. Now I have no problem calling them to let them know I’ll be home late, because well now they trust me more & ask less questions, but mainly, now I actually get the point is was a concern factor for them and not a controlling factor. I still fight with my dad over the remote (Ironically enough it's because I have to ask HIM to turn the volume down) But all in all I have to be thankful for the parents I do have. Because as this article suggests certain areas in our lives we regress, well I have done that with the laundry. I have always hated it, but up until now had not lived close enough for my MOM to do it so did I my own laundry for years. But since my mom is doing the laundry I buy the detergent and everything else associated with. My dad is happy he doesn't have to mow the lawn anymore, plus now he has someone to watch Braves games with again. But I would thought that as a new generation of 25 to 35 year olds are moving back into their parents home again, you would find more of them willing to work with their parents more now than when they were teenagers. I could be wrong it could just be me.

I'm 31 now, but I moved back home a few years back to save for my first house. I had both a full & part time job to keep me busy and with my extracurricular activities with friends, it left little time for meal-time with the 'rents. At first, they were asking when I was coming home and if I was going to being around for dinner, but once they adjusted, it worked out fine. Ten months later, I bought my house and moved out. Come to find out afterwards, it was one of the "most difficult" times for my mom. Go figure!

My Daughter who is 48, moved back home 2 years ago. At first it was rough, but soon she understood that this is MY home and that she had duties to do to stay here for very low rent. Now she cooks, does dishes and garage and so on. Her room is a mess, but we keep the door closed and its ok. Maybe someday if she moves out on her own, I will throw a stick of TNT in that room to clean it out lol

I moved back in with my parents when I was twenty-nine, as a single-dad of a six-month old daughter. The idea was to live with them until my daughter was of school-age and I had gotten back on my feet. I am now thirty-eight, my daughter is nine, and we're still living with them.

My parents WANT us to live with them (my daughter is their only grandchild), and living with them is not without its benefits (you can't beat built-in babysitters; although I never ask them to look after my daughter so that I can have a life - I work full-time and am pursuing my Ph.D. full-time, so I don't have a life). However, I am not respected as the father of my daughter. Father's Day was yesterday, but my father was the only "father." I was invisible. The only person who wished me, "Happy Father's Day," was my daughter. This is the way it has been over the past nine years.

I make breakfast for my daughter and get her off to school. I check her homework. I do her laundry. I set up her play-dates. I look after them when she and her friends have play-dates at our house. The only thing my mother does is make dinner Monday to Friday. (I am responsible for dinner over the weekends.) However, my mother treats me as another "kid" that she needs to look after.

My father is 80, so he has mellowed quite a bit, but my mother is only 64 and treats me and my daughter as "two kids." I don't do drugs, I don't booze, and I don't bring women home, but my mother is always harping about how I need to respect her rules if I live under her roof. And her rules mean doing everything that she wants, the way that she wants them, including how late I stay up and even how I brush my teeth! If I NEED to live under her roof, then she's right, no matter how unreasonble she is. If I don't, then she has to give a little, but she doesn't.

I can afford to move out, and I can take care of my daughter on my own (including hiring babysitters when I need to work in the evenings), but my mother is the kind of person who will call the police and accuse me of not being able to take care of my daughter if I try to move out.

I have sole custody, care, and control of my daughter. What should I do? It is my civil right to move out, and my parental right (and responsibility) to take my daughter with me, but I just know that my mother will do her best to subvert everything.

My youngest son decided ot go into the Army after 2 yrs of college, which is fine by my husband and myself because he is a good boy, very responsible, and will evenually clean his room if we gripe enough about it. He has gotten better about the amount of mess in his room since he entered the service, I'm giving him credit for that improvement. We are just soo happy that he is returning to us safe and sound on the 2 come home trips that he has had. Now that he is deployed to Iraq, we will be extremely overjoyed that he is coming home in about 6mths, so any mess he makes (as long as it sin't to big) is OK with us. Lets pray that all of our soldiers come home safe and sound to their families.

For the parents who are excepting their child(ren) and his/her family returning home because of the recession: DON'T TAKE ANY OF THEIR BS, make them follows your rules, remember you are doing them a favor and they should be happy that you let them back in your house minus the BS. Remind them that they could be struggling as you would be if they had to do it on their own. SOme children don't have someone to retreat to, so count your blessings....GOD BLESS EVERYONE!!!!!

I have not been lucky in employment and still need my parents for financial support. I lived with them until age 36, and then moved in with my boyfriend. However, I am still nearer to them than I want, and need more emotional and physical separation. I suppose its nice having 2 living parents, but seeing them 2 - 3 x/week is a bit excessive.

My son 23 moved back home. It is hard. It comes with mess, inconvenience and worry. I am trying to get him to at least send me a text that says I won't be home but am safe, without including any information on where (by my admission that is none of my business) or who with (also none of my businuss) but I do worry, can't help it, try to control it etc. It is a respect thing as much as anything. If I am not going to be home all night for whatever reason, i let him know. I enjoy some aspects of having him home, but it is hard. They are not the same as a roomate, but they are not you "child" anymore.

Living at home may be free or cheap, but as you can see from the comments here, it costs you your freedom and self-respect. And very few parents can give up control. There's a saying that two women related by blood should never be under the same roof past age 18, and I think that's true. It always turns into a battle of wills. My sister calls it the "You Can't Win Show."

As for the single dad with the 9 year old daughter who told his story here, my advice is to get out of your parents' house ASAP. Your daughter will never develop the proper respect she should have for you if you let your parents take that role. Your mother will have to adjust. It's the best thing for ALL of you.

Once my children moved out, I took to my empty nest like a fish to water. I agree with cjb1963...they're not the same as a roomate, but they're not your child anymore, but as a parent you try to make the best of the situation. My daughter moved in and I have to say, it's been difficult. If the other parents are like me, your son or daugther is paying a substantially reduced rate (if at all) than if they would have been paying if they lived on their own. So, I've spelled out the rules and if she can abide them, so be it. I love my daughter so much, however, as adults, our children must learn to respect us as more than just care givers.

We were trendsetters in this movement. In 2003, we rented a 4br house with our adult daughter, her husband, and 1 yr old son. Six months later, our adult son, his wife, and 1yr old daughter moved in. It was a bit tight, but we get along pretty well. For the next four years we kept up with this arrangement in two other houses, and the number of granchildren grew to 5. Then the son and his family moved out to cut down his commute distance. A few months later the daughter and her family moved to a place by themselves, and we split our time between the two families for a year. Then we rented another place with daugher and family near our son and family. We felt that having the families close together in these uncertain times was a good idea. The move left me with a bit of a commute, but I've had long commutes for most of my 35 years of working, so I'm used to it.

Over the years of doing the multigenerational living arrangement, we have found that rather than becoming parents to our kids again, we have become another set of parents for the grandchildren. We have enjoyed being a big part of our grandchildren's lives during their formative years. It has been easier with our daughter's kids, as she thinks a lot like us, and our son's wife does things a lot differently.

One thing we have found of great importance is that each family needs to have their own space. In our current situation, we have an upstairs bedroom suite, and the other bedrooms are downstairs at the other end of the house. The grandkids have to be invited to come upstairs, and we don't go into their area of the house unless it has to do with taking care of the kids. A closed door means you knock and wait before opening it for both kids and adults. The household duties are pretty well shared, as is the upkeep of the common areas. Housekeeping hasn't been a problem, as mother and daughter have the same high standards for cleanliness.

We're not sure how long our multigenerational living approach will continue, but over the 6 years we have done it, it has overall been a good experience for all involved.

My 25 year old has been unemployed for 3 1/2 years. He had his own apt, then a room that he was renting with a friend. I was paying his rent on both, trying to help with his independence. I could no longer continue to pay his rent since I lost my job. I just recently started a new job and he's living with me now. Needless to say it's not easy for either one of us. I am 42 years old and I must say it's difficult having a private life with my son living with me. You can't have a nice romantic evening with your adult son in the house.

He appears to be unmotivated to seek work in retail, fast food, or manual labor positions. I want to put him out, but a part of my heart says that I shouldn't. I don't know what to do or how to motivate him to be a responsible adult. And now with the economy being so tough, I feel that it's an easy excuse for him to lay around the house. An additional person means an increase in food and utility cost.

Ten years ago my husband and I decided to buy a larger home so our divorced daughter and her two kids had a decent place to live and so she could complete her degree while working. We have co-parented the 2 kids - one 20 now and the other 17. The thought was that when she got her degree and was making more money she would get a place of her own. We could sell home and retire. That is never going to happen on a teachers salary. We get along very well except in the division of household duties. I have trained the kids to help but somehow I didn't do as good a job with her.

Both kids are in college now. On schlorships but living at home because of cost. We have high hopes that they will be able to live on their own once they finish school. But if now we will probably need parenting by then pay back is a @!$%#!

My son is a grad student and living with me in order to cut expenses. He's a caring and very considerate person who I greatly admire, but we have our issues. This is very difficult for him and the living quarters are very small (one bedroom apt.). But we manage. We've had a great relationship since he was a baby and we respect each other's space - even if it's seperated by a few feet or thousands of miles. He pays for whatever he can and he tries to pickup after himself..I just gear back on my demands about housework --- he lived on his own for a number of years and he does function well as an adult ---- often far better than I do. I'm just not looking forward to his move out - again - this time it will probably hurt a lot more and I know I'll miss him.

Hey try this one i moved out when i was 17 i went out found a good job got my own apartment when i was 18 im 21 now my parents both lost there job within 2 weeks of each other i had to move back in to help them out for the first 2 months they were still treating me like i was 16 its been 9 months now and they still dont work we dont talk to eachother i stay in the gradge all the time and i cant stand it because they still try to tell me what i can and cant do

You know this story sounds very familier with whats happening with me.   Im 23 years old and i cant afford to live on my own right now because of living costs and Rent.  It costs $1000 just to rent an apartment.  So i am living with my Mom, and my 15 year old brother and my Mom's boyfriend.    Everyday seems to be an argument or fight and i get treated like im some 10 year old kid.  Especially by her boyfriend, in my last apartment and dorm i always clean the dish's the next day or take out the trash when it was jam packed in the can.   I never cleaned my room its the way i am.  Now its like i am some 10 year old kid being bossed around by a 50 year old man and women telling me to clean my room, or pickup a empty soda can off my desk.   I do alot around here, mowing the lawn and cleaning up like anyone else would but frankly i wish they would treat me like a Adult.  Im tired of being treated like a kid.  Oh man i left s soda can on my desk or my bed wasnt made give me a flippin break.  I cant wait till i get enough cash to finally move out. 

At least my mom is nice enough to let me stay with her.