Man found asleep with corpse in Cypress Source: The Houston Chronicle
A Houston man has been charged with three misdemeanor drug offenses after police found him asleep in a closet with a dead man in a vacant Cypress home Sunday.
Sister Would Sneak Food to Brother Locked in ClosetSource: ktla.com
The sister of an Oklahoma boy who says his mother locked him in apartment closets over four years said Thursday she would bring her brother food, but would tell him not to chew because their mother would check his teeth to see whether he had eaten.
Payne gets death penalty for starving his childrenSource: Welcome to StarNet
Editor's note: Readers, please be advised that the testimony in this trial is disturbing.
A Tucson father convicted of starving two of his children to death in a bedroom closet was sentenced to death Tuesday afternoon by a Pima County jury.
Bill filed to ban seclusion roomsSource: The St Louis Post Dispatch
Excerpt: The Missouri Senate is considering a bill to ban seclusion rooms in schools.
State Sen. Scott Rupp, R-2nd District, on Tuesday introduced a bill that would prohibit schools from confining students in a locked box, closet or specially designed room.
Thief breaks into bank lavatorySource: Telegraph
A hapless thief drilled his way into a French bank at the weekend, but missed the safe and instead found himself in a lavatory where he was promptly arrested, a French newspaper reported on Sunday.

President Obama wants to overturn the law put forth by Bill Clinton, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." It allowed closet gays to join the army, as long as they didn't talk about being gay.
Comedian Wanda Sykes: 'I'm Proud To Be Gay'Source: omg.yahoo.com
"Everybody that knows me personally, they know I'm gay," she added. "But that's the way people should be able to live their lives."
But the November 4 passing of Prop. 8, which bans same-sex marriages in the state, made her feel "attacked" -- and pushed her into action.
Japanese woman caught living in man's closetSource: Yahoo! News
The resident of the home installed security cameras that transmitted images to his mobile phone after becoming puzzled by food disappearing from his kitchen over the past several months.
Man finds woman living in his closetSource: Australian News Network
A Japanese man puzzled by food mysteriously disappearing from his refrigerator got a shock when he discovered a woman had been living in his home for months without permission, police said today.
Put Dumbledore Back in the Closet Source: TIME
When J.K. Rowling announced at Carnegie Hall that Albus Dumbdledore—her Aslan, her Gandalf, her Yoda—was gay, the crowd apparently sat in silence for a few seconds and then burst into wild applause. I'm still sitting in silence.

My esteemed colleagues, I have spent the last few days involved in considerable soul searching, and have arrived at an important decision. The leaders of my party have made it very clear that they want me to resign. Very well, I will resign. . .

This isn't exactly a quote, perse, but more of a "I've read something and have changed a few words" sort of thing.
The original goes:

The house on Warbler Lane above the Sunset Strip where Rock Hudson and Phyllis Gates lived during their brief marriage in the 1950s is for sale for $2 million. Gates portrayed herself as naive about Rock's homosexuality but his friends now say she was gay too.
Read more.
Heroes Straightens Up Its Gay CharacterSource: afterelton.com
Did NBC send its gay character Zach from Heroes back into the closet? "Two scenarios seem the mostly likely: for unknown reasons, NBC suddenly shied away from the idea of a gay character. Or Dekker's management wanted Zach to be straight."
Atheists: The New GaysSource: The Dilbert Blog
I think the hidden benefit of Islamic extremism is that it freed the atheists from their closets. The old mindset in the United States was that almost any religion was good, and atheism was bad.

So I'm reading an article today on Newsvine regarding men's opinion on what their girliest habit is. I'm intrigued, yet already aggravated about the comments I'm going to get from "friends" as they attempt to identify my own habits.

A FINAL NOTE ON THE TED HAGGARD SCANDAL AND THE NATIONAL EVANGELICAL ASSOCIATION