"Only then, regale my eyes" - A New Challenge for Newsvine's Creative Community

I don't know if I have the exact quote or its author, but, I am going to say that the 18th Century writer and orator, Diderot, is responsible for: "Make me laugh, make me cry, break my heart; only then, regal my eyes."

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Jerome Cleary at The Comedy Store

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This is a classic example of Americas dumbist criminals! You will laugh all day on this one! Enjoy! Excerpt: DeWitt had a crude system for hiding and retrieving the pills, jail administrator Dave Battles said.

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Excerpt: Dear Tom and Ray: My problem began when I was driving down the road in our 2005 Dodge Caravan, packed full of our own kids and kids from the neighborhood. My elderly and ...

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LAKELAND, Fla. -- A 15-year-old Lakeland, Fla., boy is looking for a new way to school after his alleged flatulence had him kicked off the bus. Eighth-grader Jonathan Locke Jr. was suspended from riding the school bus for three days after being accused of passing gas.

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---I dare you to read this without laughing! ;) --- Excerpt: After three years of research, Georg Steinhauser, a chemist, has discovered a type of body hair that traps stray pieces of lint and draws them into the navel.

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Excerpt: I was driving down the street the other day when I saw a sign on an empty storefront that read, "Fish Pedicures Coming Soon!" It was the kind of sign that got me thinking. Do fish need pedicures? You'd think they would do without, in this economy.

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Funny Things People Say | Smiling

Family sayings get passed down through the generations, and we smile on hearing those familiar words repeated. Loving couples make up their own private phrases, and will share a secret smile when those words are spoken.

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JACKSONVILLE -- New York City's famous Naked Cowboy has migrated south for the winter.

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---Warning: Video link within article contains profanity.--- Excerpt: 18-year-old Matt Connor is no longer an anonymous member of Anonymous, the loosely-organized internet-based group of pranksters that, in the past, has (as their website notes), "uncovered or brought into the  …

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HAMMOND | A North Hammond boy learned a valuable lesson about tongues and freezing metal Tuesday night. Police were called to the 3900 block of Hohman Avenue shortly after 8:30 p.m. and found the 10-year-old with his tongue stuck to a streetlight pole.

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Excerpt: When we told you about the genius blog F*** You Penguin - which takes overly cute animals to task - we prophesied that after years of everyone nuzzling up to fluffy animals in tutus and fairly ODing on their adorability, 2009 was set to be the year of the cute backlash.

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Excerpt: Christmas is an exciting time for most children, but this little boy was so thrilled to receive a Nintendo Wii that footage of his delighted reaction has become a YouTube hit.

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PORTLAND, Ore. – The Multnomah County Sheriff's Office said an 88-year-old woman fended off a naked intruder by grabbing the man's crotch and squeezing.

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Excerpt: Call me thickheaded, but even with all the signs -- escalating unemployment, frozen credit, unprecedented numbers of home foreclosures, a stock market in free fall and all the rest of it -- I have to admit I didn't believe we were in a Depression until John and Marlena g …

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Excerpt: In mildly emasculating yet quite hysterical court papers, Jay Mohr is asking to have his wife's last name legally added to his own. Jay Mohr will now forever be known as Jon Ferguson Cox Mohr.

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Excerpt: One industry that is sure to be stable in our trying economic times is greeting cards -- people will always need that perfect card for their weird holidays/screw-ups/thank yous/relatives in prison.

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Munqeth al-Faroon, an Iraqi court official, said Zaidi could receive a maximum jail sentence of seven years for insulting the nation's leader.

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There is a scandalously funny side to the Gov. Rod Blagojevich scandal.

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The commercial, by ad agency AMV BBDO, does not air here in the States, and has barely ruffled feathers in the U.K.

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Taking your car in for repair is a lot like bathing a temperamental, still very much clawed cat. You avoid it at all possible costs.

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Routine change: out of sync, out of mind

I was in a daze. I read somewhere that changing your daily routine every now and then helps to sharpen your mind.

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Huckabee: Eating His Soup Quietly by Chris Cilliza Washington Post Blog

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A really genius piece on the status of Iraq and Bush plan...

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