— Time for another Dancing with the Stars results show, and I realize I forgot to vote again. Oh well.
Meat Loaf performs, and Tom Bergeron jokes that they had to wait for Heather Mills to be sent home first because she's a vegan. Oh, is it safe to tell the Heather Mills jokes now? I didn't get the memo.
Samantha talks to Joey and Ian, and Ian jokes that he should stop drinking beers on commercial breaks because he needs to "get serious." Joey says he does too, and Ian says Joye's the "golden boy" and put him "in sync." Oh, enough with that one.
Today we get the ridiculous but entertaining feature, "Dance Center" with Kerry Mayne, who has Jerry Rice and Len Goodman in the "skybox" with him. They discuss Ian's shoe size and how "women hate Cheryl," Laila's awesomeness, and Joey Fatone, who has "lost about 75 pounds" since the show began.
And it's time to find out who's safe: Laila & Maks, no great shock there. And who's in the bottom two? John & Edyta. Well, also no surprise. I can't believe this show is an hour long.
Some champion kids dance. They are better than half the stars are on their best nights.
Samantha talks to Ian, Billy Ray, Joey, and Apolo about who's leaving tonight. Billy Ray says he just went and told John he'd be right over next to him in a few minutes. Joey says "vote vote vote," apparently forgetting that it's too late at the moment. Apolo says that they never know who's leaving, and that they're like a family on Dancing with the Stars.
More Dance Center: they go on about John being old again. "Seventy, eight years old." I get the impression he's not that entertained by this, but whatever. Of Billy Ray, Len says "he does put content in" to which Kenny asks "Why you give him such crappy scores then?" Haha. They say good things about Apolo, but all think maybe he won't be so hot at the slower dances to come.
Meat Loaf sings again, and pro ballroom champions Jonathan Wilkins and Katusha Demidova dance.
Dance Along at Home with Jimmy Kimmel features no actual lesson tonight, but instead Jimmy Kimmel's dream about beautiful women saying "cha cha cha" and Guillermo's highly disturbing one about John, Ian, and Jerry Springer, after which he woke up between Jimmy and Tom Bergeron.
And they announce that Apolo & Julianne are safe tonight, as if there were any doubt. I mean, it's going to be Billy Ray next to John, anyone can see that.
The Dancing with the Stars audience members talk about who they think is safe and should go. Nobody says anything interesting.
They draw it out for a few more minutes, but it's John & Edyta who are out! John's gracious, and thanks Edyta and "everyone" quite briefly. Edyta thanks John for teaching her something or other. John has everyone join them to bunny hop for their final dance, which is vaguely entertaining.
So, will Billy Ray make it past next week? I doubt it. Who'll be standing next to him in the bottom two, though? That'll depend on next week's dances.
-Mel, BuddyTV Staff Columnist
Photo credit: ABC
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